Finished Product
by Mortissues
Summary: Part One of The Whitlock Saga.  Decisions change lives.  What happens when a series of decisions set you on the path to become a completely different person?  When Edward decides to return life has already moved on.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns it all.**

**Rated M for several reasons.**

**Prologue**

_Nine Months After the Cullens Leave in New Moon_

**Broken**

I have done terrible, despicable things. I have slaughtered, murdered, tortured and abused. I have been a monster. There were circumstances and reasons but there are no excuses, one day I will pay for my crimes.

Fate smiled on me and I was rescued from a life that was killing me and almost everyone I came into contact with. Escaping the murder, mayhem and manipulation allowed me to start re-assembling the pieces of the man I once was.

But I was still broken when my wife found me. She spoke to me of peace and tranquillity and love, she was so beautiful and happy, how could I help but follow her?

She gave me all the things she promised but they weren't enough, I just didn't realise at the time.

The last 60 years have been balm to my battered soul but they didn't heal it. When it ended it was like waking from a deep dreamless sleep to find that all the painful things from the day before still waiting for you. Alice and the Cullens were a sticking plaster not a cure and I resent them now, they didn't fix me, they mixed up the pieces so I don't know where anything fits any more.

Living up to their high ideals was hard enough but the emotional climate caused by my struggles was excruciatin'. I was a disappointment and a burden. A soulless monster they felt obligated to police, with less self control than a human toddler and all the appeal of road kill.

I don't know when the love Alice and I shared died, I think it bled away slowly in the endless cycle of school and college. It isn't a natural way for vampires to live, always pretending to be something we're not. Denying our instincts is hard enough but that too? Too much.

**Work In Progress**

So tired of being weak. I used to be strong, didn't I spend most of the first 17 years of my life looking after my scatty mother? When did I become weak? Was it when I wandered blithely into the realms of the supernatural, where everyone was physically stronger and faster than me? Where everybody fit, except me.

Always needing to be protected, physically and mentally. Always made to feel safe and always feeling grateful, honoured, humbled and inadequate.

Am I destined to always feel like an outsider, I don't fit with people my own age and I don't fit with the beings that surround me?

I don't feel safe any more. All I feel is terror, guilt and self loathing. Terror that I will die, terror and guilt that someone I love will die trying to protect me. And self loathing because despite the risks to others my biggest fear is that I will be stuck like this forever, buffeted around by circumstances I cannot control and beholden to others for my continued existence.

**Incomplete**

How I long for the time before. The time when I felt myself to be complete, before I learnt about love. And loss.

My beloved. How I ache for her, to hold her to smell her heavenly scent and to gaze into her beautiful chocolate orbs.

I must stay strong. I must keep my promise. She is too good for this half-life, her soul too pure and her potential too great.

Bella, Bella, Bella.

_Four Years Later_

**BPOV**

Squinting into the mirror I carefully apply my eyeliner, not too much but enough for definition. Just a little blusher and a hint of lipstick, perfect.

I step back to admire my handiwork. My chestnut hair is rigidly confined to a tight bun, ready to receive my hat but my face has filled out over the years and I can carry it off swept back like that.

Intellectually I am aware that I have grown into a beautiful woman because despite my reserved nature I am never short of male attention. Mostly unwanted but a boost to the ego nevertheless. I feel a bit like a priceless work of art, always in tip top condition but encased in glass and kept separate.

It's entirely my choice, I have far too much to hide to make friends easily.

Speaking of which, Chadwick has recommended that we all start diaries today to record our first year released into the big bad world. He's an asshole but I think it's actually a good idea. With a resigned sigh I mentally hoist up my big girl panties knowing I should start with the past before moving onto the future.

'Dear Diary

Four years ago I moved to Forks, Washington to live with my Dad, the Chief of Police. I started my new school in the middle of a semester and apparently I was the most exciting thing to happen for a while. I hated the attention, still do.

I fell in love with the cutest boy in school and for some reason he fell in love with me. It was intense and romantic, like something out of a story. Eventually he dumped me and left, taking his wonderful family and my best friend with him. I didn't deal with it well which is pretty normal for a first love as far as I can tell. I made a new best friend who helped me heal and start living again, also fairly normal.

But none of it was normal. The cute boy was Edward Cullen and he was a vampire. My new best friend was Jacob Black and he was a wolf.

There was a time when I thought my future was to become a vampire and live happily ever after with Edward so like the naïve innocent that I was I stopped planning for a human future, I stopped doing everything really, there was only Edward.

Then suddenly he was gone, he took away his love, he took away my second family and he took away my happily ever after. He told me that it would be as if he never existed but he was wrong. He left me my memories and he left me my dreams but he also left me something tangible to remember him by. He left me an enemy.

Edward's brother killed a vampire who was stalking me and that vampire had a mate, Victoria. I'd like to think she was psychotic in her desire for revenge but if I'm honest I think it was instinct and she was just pissed, vampires mate for life, like swans. Yeah, the irony is not lost on me. She wanted a mate for a mate but I'm pretty sure knowing I wasn't Edward's mate wouldn't have stopped her.

The first vampire she sent after me was killed by giant wolves, which is ultimately how I found out about Jake and his tribe being werewolves. They protected Charlie and me, driving Victoria away whenever she would get close but never managing to catch her. The tense stalemate continued for several months before coming to an inevitable and bloody conclusion.

She had been trying harder than ever over those last few days which was why we decided to pick up Charlie and drag him down to the bonfire at the beach.

_I open the door on a nightmare. Victoria crouched over the bloodied form of my father. Time stands still as we stare at each other, she has a satisfied smirk on her face and I can feel the absolute horror on mine._

_Jake's hands grip my arms and in a blur I am swung round finding myself in a heap back out on the porch. Shock freezes me in place._

_Jake transforms before my eyes, the shreds of his clothes fluttering down like leaves and lunges for her throat. She dodges to the side, flipping over and coming to rest by the back window. Unable to stop Jake's hind legs rake Charlie's chest causing him to scream in agony. Using the stairs as a springboard Jake doubles back and leaps for Victoria again this time he connects sending them both crashing through the window and out into the night._

_The sudden absence of growls and splintering wood is eerie. Without conscious thought I crawl slowly towards my father who is now writhing on the ground. The closer I get the more of his slick blood soaks though my jeans. Distractedly I wonder why I don't feel sick._

_Reaching his side I try to take his hand jerking back as I encounter the cold steel of his service revolver._

"_Daddy?" I ask quietly. No answer other than his sharp pants._

_Carefully I take the gun from his twitching hand._

"_Daddy?"_

"_Bella!" Sam's commanding voice demands my attention and unwillingly I look up to find him standing in the doorway with Paul._

"_He's changing." I whisper._

"_Then he must be destroyed." Sam is chillingly matter of fact._

"_No! He's my father!"_

"_We cannot allow him to become a vampire."_

"_No, please, no. I'll find someone to take care of him, take him far away. You can't kill him, he's my father!" Instinctively I lean in to cover his body._

_Over Sam's shoulder I can see Paul starting to tremble._

"_Bella." Sam's voice is filled with compassion. "He cannot be allowed to complete the change. You have to let him go, he's already dead."_

"_Sam please, he's my father. He'll be a good vampire I swear!" Even as I plead I see Paul's shaking escalate and the tell tale vibration in the air as he leaps towards my father and begins to phase._

_My own trembling body stills and in an instant I raise Charlie's gun and fire._

I killed to protect someone I loved, I made a choice and I have to live with it even if it was ultimately futile. Years of poor eating choices had taken their toll on Charlie's heart, he didn't survive the change. He and Paul died within minutes of each other on my living room floor.

Jared and Quil arrived in time to help Jake destroy Victoria, we piled her shredded remains in the house and burnt it down with the bodies inside to cover the evidence. I lit the match.

I had no right to expect understanding from the wolves and I didn't get it. Except for Sam, he truly had the heart of a warrior, he at least understood why, even if he could not forgive. Jake told me it took a command from the Alpha to prevent retaliation for Paul's death. Something else I didn't deserve.

Jacob tried very hard to forgive me however his efforts did nothing but fan the flames of my desperate desire to escape and start again. As soon as I could I left. I have never been back.'

I re-read my words, they don't do justice to the horror and heartache but I've worked so hard to forget that they are all I can manage. Even this bland re-telling has tears pouring down my cheeks for all the people I have lost and all the people I've hurt. This will be the last time.

I am Bella Swan, loner, survivor, killer, sorry ingrate and today I am graduating.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. I just want to play with Jasper in the citrus groves and see how creative I can be with my swearing.**

**Rated M for a reason, it's not all as fluffy as it looks and could turn on you at any moment . . . . you have been warned!**

**Chpt 1 Boomerang**

**JPOV**

I hate LA, the fucking sun is always shining. I enjoy the warmth but being stuck indoors all day is depressin'. Fuckin' Pete and his 'feelings'.

"_We should take a vacation to LA. The nightlife is awesome and there is scum on every corner. You need to get out Jasper, you're turning into a stereotype of a brooding vampire and frankly I can have a more interestin' conversation with my dick than I can with you at the moment."_

Fucker.

I don't regret for one second moving back in with Pete and Char, they are and always have been my real family. Partly because they are the only vampires I've sired I haven't destroyed but mainly because for some fucked up reason they cared enough about me to rescue me from Maria. It's a positive emotional climate, they find something to enjoy in every day of their immortal existence, even if the lust does get a bit overwhelmin' after a while.

My life has been slowly getting back on track. I've even done a couple of correspondence courses which satisfied my thirst for knowledge without putting any pressure on my thirst for blood.

Then _she_turns up. I need a visit from the ex-wife like I need a hole in the head. I don't understand what she wanted. Still I learnt a few things. I hate being called Jazz. I like the way I dress, for that matter I like the way Pete and Char dress. I don't find her attractive anymore. Praise for maintaining my vegetarian lifestyle is fuckin' patronising and I don't give a flying fuck what the Cullens have been up to.

If there was a point to her sudden re-appearance in my life we never got there. Pete said I was less than hospitable, not that he minded, he can't stand her. I ought to be more worried, Alice's life is ruled by her visions, she would have come for a reason but I can't summon up the enthusiasm to care. She'll turn up again if it's important.

I've been in a shit mood ever since, re-hashing that part of my past.

I _never_approved of that stupid human being involved in our lives. Edward had completely taken leave of his senses and I was appalled that Carlisle allowed it. I had never fit comfortably with the Cullens and although I revelled in the peace their lifestyle brought me I was only really there for Alice. It shocked me how little the Cullens appreciated how 'normal' vampires live and behave. Yes they meet others often enough but like Edward's mind reading abilities their interactions are always superficial. Unlike most vampires they have never really lived in covens, been nomadic or fought wars for territory. They are actually more innocent and naïve in our world than they believed that _human_ to be in hers.

I will always be sorry for trying to take a bite out of Edward's delicate little girlfriend on her birthday but for fuck's sake, I'm a vampire and he threw her into a pile of glass, I'm still surprised I was the only one.

I had learnt to deal with their feelings over the years but nothing prepared me for their reaction to that slip and Edward's decision to leave Bella. We hadn't been in Alaska very long before their anger and disappointment drove me from the house and I started spending as much time as possible out in the frozen wastes where only my own emotions could attack me. Even after Edward left I stayed away as much as I could. No one tried to stop me.

This carried on for a month or so until on one trip back for a shower and clean clothes I found Alice waiting for me in the yard. She didn't look pleased to see me.

"_I can't do this anymore Jazz" she said, not looking me in the eye. "I can't look out for you any more."_

"_Alice, I . . "_

"_Don't. We always knew we wouldn't be together forever, that we weren't mates. We had fun but it's not fun anymore. I have seen my future and you're not in it, I'll always love you but I'm not in love with you. It's time." She hefts a holdall and hands it to me. "I've packed you some clothes and shipped the rest of your stuff to Peter and Charlotte. Goodbye Jasper."_

I couldn't disagree with anything she said but somehow I thought there would be more to our eventual parting than a few trite words and a holdall full of useless suits. Bitch.

The human and I had that much in common, neither of us belonged with the Cullens.

_Finally_. It was dark enough for me to head out.

Peter's voice follows me out the door of our rented house. "About time asshole, you're projecting and I don't know whether to cry, shit myself or chew the furniture!"

With a mirthless laugh I head out of town looking for something tasty. Vegetarians get the shitty end of the stick every time, humans get lousy salads in steakhouses and vampires have to travel miles to avoid the meat course.

Satisfied at last I stroll home through the busy streets, the air is warm against my skin and the emotions swirling around this Friday night are a pleasant cocktail. I have one thing to thank the Cullens for, whether they realise it or not they finally helped me get control of my bloodlust. Not that the scents of so many excited humans wasn't making venom pool in my mouth, I am a vampire and human blood will always be nectar to me.

Passing through a business district I get hit by a pure wave of terror, interwoven with lust and anticipation. The jarring emotions draw me in, I shouldn't interfere but I'm still a southern gentleman at heart. The erratic breeze brings the scent of two men in the alley behind the shop and I can hear them taunting a terrified woman. Silently I creep around the building ready to size up the situation and scare the perpetrators into leading a better life. A car screeches to a stop on the street and two sets of running feet head around the building in opposite directions. Quickly I hop up onto the roof and drop into a crouch out of sight in time to watch a huge cop barrel past beneath me.

Hearing him approach would-be rapist one makes a break to the left and the cop takes off after him. Would-be rapist two is a little slow on the uptake and is still trying to subdue their intended victim when the second cop rounds the back of the building. Intrigued I creep closer to the edge so I can see what's happening.

Looking down I see a petite brunette curled into a ball by the chain link fence, sobbing quietly. The other cop is turned away from me and has would-be rapist number two pinned to the floor, projecting feelings of deep satisfaction while applying the cuffs.

The breeze picks up again, bringing a familiar scent which jerks me to my feet and the edge of the roof.

"Bella Swan."

I must have said it out loud because two sets of startled eyes and the barrel of a service revolver are immediately fixed on me. Although the gun can't hurt me it does reawaken my sense of self preservation, I bring my hands up acting as peaceable as possible and back slowly into the shadows before turning tail and launching myself off the roof and into the night.

**BPOV**

Fan-fucking-tastic.

I cannot remember the last time I was this pissed as I bang my locker shut.

My first ever arrest and who is stood there watching me, a fucking Cullen!

What a mind fuck. One minute I'm wrestling a sweaty drug addict in the dirt and the next I'm looking up at a sexy golden cowboy standing on the top of the roof like a Marlboro Man billboard. Thank god I didn't shoot him that would have taken some major explaining. At least the victim was so out of it I managed to convince her she didn't see him and no one else paid any mind to her ramblings about angels in cowboy hats.

"What's wrong Bells?" A familiar voice asks.

Joel is my partner, he's been with the LAPD for five years and is well on the way to becoming a good friend now that I've persuaded him I'm never gonna sleep with him. He reminds me of the Quileutes, being 6'6" with russet skin, dark hair and built like a brick out house.

"Hey Joel, sorry, lost in thought." I smile up at him wondering why all my friends have to be so damn tall.

"Thought you'd be on cloud nine after your first arrest?"

"I am, just reliving it, that's all."

He laughs, patting me on the back hard enough to make me take an involuntary step forwards. "You did good Bells, ready for a beer?"

"Hell yes!"

**JPOV**

I get back to the house to find Pete and Char sitting on the couch together wearing matching patient expressions.

"Bout time J, get changed so we can get out and sample the night life."

Ten minutes later I come out of my room unsurprised to find them both in exactly the same positions I left them in.

"Funny," Pete comments casually "I thought a shower would wipe that surprised expression off your face but it's still there. What ya been hunting, Aardvarks?"

"I saw Bella Swan."

"Edward's little human?" Char asks incredulously.

"One and the same." I answer, filling them in on the night's events.

"She's a cop?" Char is sceptical. "She sounded more like the librarian type to me."

"Yep, she used to be a timid little thing but she was gonna fuckin' shoot me till she realised who I was." I didn't intend them to, but the words came out sounding a little indignant and hurt.

Which makes Pete and Char roar with laughter.

When the fucker stops chuckling he announces he knows the perfect bar and shoos Char and I out the door.

The uninspiringly named 'Brad's Place' is indeed a great bar. The music is thumping and the patrons are emitting warm happy, slightly drunken, vibes as we wrestle our way to a table in back.

While we wait for our drinks I scan the bar, the décor immediately grabs my attention. The walls are covered in uniforms, caps, shields and photographs.

"A cop's bar Pete?" I ask suspiciously.

"I'm curious man," he shrugs unapologetically "that little human's almost famous. I wanna see her for myself."

Sighing I lean back into my chair. I know Pete had one of his feelings before dragging me and Char to LA and now I'm starting to wonder if it had anything to do with _her_. "Did you have to involve me in your little curiosity safari Pete?"

"Aw come on J," he responds patting my knee like I'm a fuckin' child. "The past is like a boomerang, no matter how hard you chuck it away it keeps coming back until you deal with it. Besides, ain't you even a little bit curious?"

That cryptic shit is _really_ annoying so I lapse into a petulant silence while Pete and Char scan the crowd.

Scents are quite hard to distinguish in packed sweaty rooms so we'd been there a while before Bella's freesia scent registers in my brain.

"She's here."

Pete and Char jump up excitedly their heads rotating like meerkats. Reluctantly I join them, superior height allowing me to scan the room easily.

I spot her in the middle of the dance floor and take a minute to study her properly. She's still about 5' 4" with the same long chestnut hair and expressive brown eyes, the full pouty lips are new though. The red strapless top that moulds to her curves sets off her creamy smooth shoulders and long graceful neck. Her skinny hipsters show off her well toned abs and long shapely legs. Her ass is round and firm and like her breasts the perfect size for my hands. She's weaving sinuously around the huge cop from earlier, as lithe as a panther and about as sexy a sight as I've ever seen. A part of my brain that isn't blathering on like a sex starved idiot registers that my mouth is hanging open while another raises my hand and points her out to Pete and Char.

"That's Bella Swan?" Pete asks incredulously.

I nod dumbly.

"Fuck me, Eddie's got bigger balls than I thought." He whispers, awestruck.

"She's, um, matured some."

"No shit." Char drawls, eyeing Bella speculatively.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason.**

**Chpt 2 Good with Weird**

**BPOV**

Dancing is better than a workout sometimes and the friendly atmosphere at Brad's is just what I need to soothe away the tension of the day. We danced for about an hour before Joel dragged me off the floor pleading a need for liquids and a sit down.

Perched on stools at the bar he orders a beer for himself and a glass of wine for me. Joel's attention is on Maire, serving behind the bar who he has a bit of a 'pash' for. While he tries to catch her eye I swing round on the stool and scan the crowd, I love people watching. There's an interesting mix in tonight cops, locals and bright young things stopping off on their way downtown to the nightclub district.

The beautiful people don't come into Brad's all that often so the unfeasibly attractive couple approaching the bar immediately caught my interest. They hopped up onto the stools next to mine and I was able to study them out of the corner of my eye. He is tall and well built with sandy blonde hair and she is petite, about my size with waist length white blonde hair and the figure of a centre fold. Feverishly I rack my brains for who they are, there is something familiar about them and being the first to spot a celebrity will get me out of a round of drinks.

Joel's warm breath caresses my cheek as he whispers "She's hot, do you think she's with that guy?"

The woman's smooth pale cheek twitches and realisation dawns "Probably Joel but I'd give her a wide berth anyway. I think she'd eat you alive." I whisper back, amused despite the danger.

"Shame." He murmurs swinging my stool around to face his. "Might be worth a try, the guy looks like he's up to your standards perfect face, perfect body. You strike up a conversation and I'll home in on the hottie."

"No Joel." I laugh, wanting to get him away from the two vampires. "But I will drag you onto the dance floor and grind on you till someone else is jealous enough to step in." Grabbing his hand I pull him off his stool and haul him deep into the throng.

Minutes later the vampires are dancing next to us and it's no longer funny. I don't know how human drinkers hunt but stalking people in bars, particularly ones who know what they are doesn't seem that unlikely. Ice cold fear washes through me bringing goose bumps out on my flesh as my brain desperately tries to calculate a way to escape and keep Joel safe.

My dancing slows and becomes robotic eventually prompting Joel to ask if I'm okay.

Slumping against him I mutter "Please can we go and sit down, I don't feel well."

Concerned he leads me to a table by the dance floor, pushing me into a chair and squatting down in front of me.

"Bells, honey, are you okay?"

I nod weakly looking over his shoulder to check on the vampires, mildly relieved to see that they are still dancing and apparently unconcerned by our departure.

The situation improves further when a large group of our colleagues descend on the table with greetings and friendly back slapping. Seizing my chance I rise to my feet dragging Joel with me.

"I think I'm gonna head home." I tell him. "You stay here with the guys, I'll be fine."

"Are you sure, I can run you home if you want?" He offers.

"No, its okay. You stay here, stay with the guys, don't go anywhere on your own." I plead grabbing his huge arms and trying to shake them for emphasis. If he stays in public with a crowd he'll be safe. If they follow me, well, then they do. I've had it coming for a while.

"Jeez Bells, concern for my safety?"

"Please Joel, promise me, stay with the others."

"Okay, okay, whatever, ring me when you get in." He raises his hands in submission .

"Will do boss." Throwing him a mock salute I scuttle into the crowd and head for the exit.

Shit, shit, shit. Better get a cab, safer than walking. Adrenaline surges through my veins making my heart pound and my breathing laboured as I hop from foot to foot on the sidewalk. Instinct tells me to run but common sense is keeping me in place waiting for a cab to cruise down the street.

At last, relief rushes through me as a cab appears at the intersection. As I raise my arm to flag it down an icy hand closes around my wrist. The adrenaline disappears as if someone's pulled out a plug and is replaced by futility, I raise my eyes slowly and the last thing I see before blackness claims me is a pair of glittering red eyes.

X - - - - X - - - - X

Gradually I come back to myself, amazed to discover I'm not dead, at least I don't think I am. I'm lying propped up on a lumpy couch and warm light is coloring my eyelids. The buzz of low voices in the air grows steadily in clarity, like a radio being tuned into a station.

"For Fuck's Sake Peter!" A vaguely familiar voice almost yells. "You almost fuckin' scared her to death!"

"Calm down J, she's okay. We didn't know she was gonna react like that, we only wanted to get close enough to start up a conversation." A male voice reasons.

"A conversation? Really? With a human, are you nuts?" Familiar rants.

"Aw come on J, you need to get over these silly prejudices. She's interestin' and I wanna make friends."

"Peter. . ." Familiar's voice is heavy with warning.

"Shut up both of you." A woman hisses. "She's awake."

Rumbled I slowly open my eyes. The blonde centrefold is sitting on the arm of the couch watching me with concern. Sandy hair, the wrist grabber, is lounging in an armchair and Jasper Hale, owner of the familiar voice is pacing silently backwards and forwards the other side of the coffee table.

Jasper stops and the four of us regard each other warily. The silence stretches. Considering I have just woken up in a room full of vampires I feel un-naturally calm.

"Jasper are you messing with my mood?" I ask by way of a conversation starter.

"No." He snaps earning him a dirty look from his two companions.

"Sugar" the woman asks softly "I'm Char, can I get you anything, a glass of water?"

I nod my head "Please."

She flits out of the room and returns almost immediately with an ice cold glass of water which I take and sip gratefully.

"Is anyone going to explain why you've kidnapped me?"

"We didn't kidnap you sugar" Char's voice is musical and soothing "you fainted and Pete" she nods across at sandy hair "panicked and brought you home."

"I didn't panic woman." Pete huffs.

"Whatever." She rolls her red eyes and winks at me.

My eyes slide over to Jasper who is scowling at me like I've just kicked his puppy.

"I didn't see you at the bar." I venture.

"I was minding my own business, unlike some people." He responds, glaring at Pete who flips him the finger and starts smirking.

"Hmm. I think I'd better go home now." Putting the glass down I stand and stretch the kinks out of my back still feeling strangely calm.

"I'd love to drive you home sweet thing but Char and I have some business to attend to." Pete stands too, winking lasciviously and pulling Char into his side. "J'll run you home. Won't you J?"

Flicking a death glare over Pete, Jasper returns his attention to me struggling manfully to reign in his sour mood. "I'm sorry Bella. Would you like a ride home? It's the least I can do after Pete ruined your evening."

"Thanks, I would appreciate it since I don't know where I am." I smile at Pete and Char. "It was nice to meet you, I think."

"Likewise sweet thing, see you again."

"Um, yeah."

Awkwardly I follow Jasper's rigid back out to the driveway where he waits with thinly disguised impatience for me to scramble into the monstrous great truck parked there.

"This is big." I comment gormlessly, I still have a massive blank spot where things with wheels are concerned, Joel won't even let me drive the cruiser.

Jasper snorts but doesn't speak as he backs the truck out into the street.

I study him covertly out of the corner of my eye. I am struggling to reconcile this, _person_, with Jasper Hale. Quiet, reserved, always in the background reading a book, Jasper? I'd failed to get my head around him in the past and had longed for a chance to get to know him but we were kept apart like volatile chemicals that would explode on contact. Maybe the Cullens had a point though, he did eventually try to eat me.

Eat me! Shit! Suddenly my defective sense of self preservation kicks in and I realise I'm trapped in a truck with a vampire that tried to kill me the last time he saw me.

"Easy Bella" he drawls sarcastically "I'm not going to hurt you. I'm a good vegetarian these days."

"Oh well, that's alright then." I let out a shaky laugh. "I'll take your word for it shall I?"

He mutters something under his breath which I don't catch.

Back to covert surveillance. Intellectually I am aware that vampires are gorgeous, a snare to trap their prey but clearly I'd only had eyes for Edward in the past because Jasper is beautiful. Edward was pretty but Jasper is in a whole other league. I can clearly see his muscles beneath his tight white t-shirt, I bet they would feel amazing rippling beneath my fingers . . . .

The subject of my scrutiny turns towards me, raising an eyebrow and smirking.

Shit! Empath.

"Sorry." I mutter, annoyed with myself and mortified beyond belief. "You're the first vampire I've been up close to in a few years and I'd forgotten the whole sexy, um, attractiveness thing. Sorry."

I keep my eyes trained through the windshield until his low, dirty, sexy chuckling has subsided.

Well that's just great, not a flicker of sexual feeling in _ages_ and now I've got my panties in a bind over another unobtainable vampire, my first love's brother no less. My libido is seriously screwed up.

The rest of the 20 minute drive passes in uncomfortable silence, I speak only to give directions and Jasper responds only with nods. My un-natural calmness is seeping away with every mile closer to my apartment, being replaced with anxiousness, the source of which I cannot determine.

The parking lot is deserted when we arrive so Jasper jumps out and flits round to open my door, offering his hand to assist me out. I hesitate infinitesimally, searching his gold eyes. Isn't it funny how your mind suddenly confers important status on seemingly insignificant decisions? Resolved I take his hand.

His eyes widen and I gasp.

"Fuck, sorry Bella, that was too hard."

"No shit Sherlock! You nearly broke my hand!"

We stare at each other for a moment before cracking up with laughter.

The laughter subsides and we continue to stare at each other with increasing intensity. Jasper breaks the tension by sighing and running his hands through his hair in a strangely human gesture.

Blinking I step back increasing the distance between us, silently watching the internal struggle evident on his face.

"I suppose you have questions?" He asks quietly.

"Yes." I can't think of a single one at the moment but after the weirdness that was today I'm going to have a shed load by tomorrow.

"Would you like to meet at the bar tomorrow night so we can talk?" He is uncomfortable making the offer, that much is obvious.

"Yes, I'm not working so I'll be there around nine."

"Okay." Resigned he turns away, jumping back into the truck and driving off.

On weary legs I trudge up to my apartment.

From the hall table my cell is glaring at me reproachfully, I never remember to take the damn thing out with me. Joel has left four increasingly irate messages. I text him to let him know that I ran into an old friend but I'm home now and then head for my bed.

My bed is my one wanton extravagance. It's huge and sumptuous the majestic frame made out of the richest of woods and topped with the softest of mattresses. My bed is adorned only in linens of the most sinfully high thread count and I replace my fluffy pillows every month. _Nothing_ is too good for my bed.

Naked I stretch out under the covers swooshing my arms and legs around sensuously on the luxurious cotton and purring with contentment.

Predictably, I can't sleep. Instead I start plotting my questions for the following day.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for a reason.**

**Chpt 3 Non Date**

**BPOV**

The following morning my alarm pulls me rudely from a happy dream where I am lying on a sun lounger drinking a pink cocktail and watching a stripped to the waist Jasper chop wood in his low slung jeans. Reluctant to let go of such an _attractive _image I take it into the shower with me so I can enjoy it a bit longer.

But I obviously enjoyed it too long because the water went cold and shocked me back to reality.

Depressed I put on my comfy sweats and take a coffee to the couch so I can look out over the trees while I brood.

I resolve my issues into three separate 'piles'. The Past, The Present and The Libido. I hesitate to allow the last one a pile of its own but Jasper is the first man I've been attracted to in a long time and that in itself is entitled to further analysis.

The Past. No matter how tightly you bind it up it always seems to leak out at some point. I can feel the ghost of the hole in my chest created by Edward's abandonment tugging at my mind waiting for a sign of weakness that will allow it to escape and rip through me again. On the rare occasions that I am totally honest with myself I accept that I am still in love with Edward Cullen and this terrifies me. Am I so defective that I'm doomed to spend forever pining for someone who rejected me as unworthy? I know he wasn't entirely honest with me when he left, that knowledge crept into my consciousness over time but still his words were clear and I knew I had nothing to hold him, not then. Stupid Bella. Should have run away as soon as Jake told you what they were. Stupid, stupid _child_.

The Present. No one mentioned the Cullens, where are they? I can't imagine them living in LA, I deliberately moved here because of the long sunshine hours. Now that I've bumped into Jasper there has to be a chance of the rest of them reappearing. There was a time when that was all I wanted, to see the family again but this morning the idea fills me with dread and I realise it's a moot point. Despite my feelings under no circumstances will I allow Edward back into my life. I let him manipulate and destroy me once and I will _not _risk that happening again. Therefore I have to conclude that in order for there to be no _him_ then there will have to be no family. Hah! I may have changed a lot over the years but even now I doubt there is anything about me that could hold Edward from his distractions. His family too, there is no more reason now why any of them would want me than there was before.

And what's the deal with Pete and Char, where do they fit in? Instinctively I liked them and it saddens me a little that the idea of mixing with vampires still doesn't send me screaming for the hills. Clearly Edward's intention for me to live a normal human life is never going to come to fruition.

The Libido. I'm not exactly an innocent virgin, four years is a long time to be alone and Edward was the one with the sanctity of marriage issues. But spending my formative years around vampires and wolves has had a severely detrimental affect on my perception of attractiveness, I have been spoilt and consequently developed ridiculously high standards and a correspondingly short sexual history. My reaction to Jasper is unprecedented and ultimately pointless so I will allow myself to enjoy it until he leaves and then repress it like I do everything else.

My coffee has gone cold in my hands and I have decided on my questions.

I want to know what happened after my birthday and why Edward and the family left me.

I want to know if they knew about Victoria, but I won't ask because then I won't have to tell.

I want to know about Pete and Char.

And I really want to know more about Jasper.

I make a fresh cup of coffee and tackle my chores.

Early evening I call Joel to let him know I'll be at the bar again tonight meeting my old friend for a catch up and supportive as ever he agrees to meet me there first. And then, even though a little voice inside my head is screaming at me not to waste my time, I start on exhaustive preparations to look my absolute best.

Leaving my hair down and finishing my deceptively simple looking makeup I wriggle into a shameless black silk jersey wrap dress with a plunging v front and back which hugs my body, showing off my toned legs and acres of flesh. I finish it off with a pair of black strappy 4 inch heels and a jade pendant that hangs just above my cleavage.

Satisfied I head down to Brad's finding Joel propping up the bar and trying in vain to get Maire to agree to go out with him after her shift.

I slide onto the stool next to him and he turns towards me, slowly taking in the view from the shiny hair on top of my head to the tips of my jade painted toenails.

Finally he lets out a low whistle. "Jeez Bells, I thought you said you were meeting an old friend."

"I am." I shrug nonchalantly.

"No offence Bells, but I've never seen you look this hot on a _date_, he must be one hell of an old _friend_ to warrant an effort like this." He gestures his hands around my body suggestively. "Sure he's not an old boyfriend?"

I laugh, if only he knew. "No Joel, actually he's an old boyfriend's brother."

"Keeping it in the family, I understand." He nods sagely.

"Joel, gross!" I roll my eyes at him. "I just want to leave him with a good impression."

Laughing his handsome head off Joel catches Maire's attention at last and orders us both a drink. Turning back to me he winks "Trust me Bells, you're gonna leave an impression on something."

Sighing I grab my drink taking a huge swig. The butterflies in my stomach feel like they're limbering up for a wrestling match and I'm not sure if it's because tonight there will be answers to some questions about my past or because I'm going to see Jasper again.

And talk of the devil here he comes his eyes trained on mine.

Sensing my stillness Joel swings round on his stool following my eyes to Jasper's.

"Fuck me Bells!" He breathes. "He's hot even by your standards."

I nod dumbly. He sure as hell is.

Jasper glides towards us, the early Saturday night throng parting round him unconsciously like the red sea. In no time at all he is stood in front of us not once having broken eye contact. You could cut the sexual tension with a knife. The butterflies have stopped limbering up and are now sparring in groups.

A slow smile creeps across his face as he realises why I'm not going to speak, turning to Joel he extends his hand. "Jasper Whitlock, an old friend of Bella's."

"Joel Cabot, Bella's partner." Joel grips Jasper's hand recoiling slightly from what I assume to be a very cold, very firm handshake.

"Can I get you a drink Jasper?" Joel asks recovering quickly.

"A beer would be great, thanks." Jasper nods appreciatively turning his golden eyes back to me.

"Are you okay?" He asks, his smile slipping slightly.

"Yes." I answer quickly, nodding enthusiastically and just a little maniacally.

Handing over Jasper's beer Joel smirks at us knowingly. "Well then guys, I gather you have some catching up to do?"

"Yes we do." I reply, coming back on track. "Jasper, we should go grab a table near the back, it'll be quieter there. Joel thanks for the wine I'll catch up with you later."

Grabbing my wine I point out my favourite booth and follow Jasper over, it's perfect for people watching because you can see the bar and the dance floor. I was about to sit when Jasper deftly manoeuvred us round, miraculously without touching me, taking the seat I'd intended.

Huffing I sit down opposite with only the corner of the dance floor in my vision.

Chuckling Jasper apologies. "Sorry darlin', military training, I never sit with my back to the room."

Jasper's surveying the room with interest so I take a minute to send the butterflies on a coffee break and collect my startled thoughts. At least, I try. Wow. Darlin'? That went straight to my knees. Military training? One for the question pile. Edward used to dazzle me to get his own way but he at least had to be close enough to breathe on me. This staring thing with Jasper is on a whole other level, as soon as we lock eyes the rest of the world and apparently my cogitative abilities cease to exist. I seem to be in the throes of a titanic crush.

Eventually it dawns on me that my empathic companion has stopped scanning the crowd and is favouring me with his sexy smirk.

"Sorry." I mutter, mortified yet again.

"Don't apologise darlin' I've always enjoyed your emotions, they're very, um, _vivid_."

Shit. Is he flirting with me? Don't be ridiculous, this is Jasper, of course he's not flirting.

My discomfort must be getting to him because he stops smirking and becomes serious.

"Bella" he begins, leaning forwards earnestly "before we talk about anything else I need to apologise for what happened on your birthday. I should never have attacked you that way. I ruined your relationship with Edward."

"Jasper, Edward ruined my relationship with Edward. All you did was act in accordance with your nature."

He nods.

"I never blamed you, didn't they tell you?"

"No. _They _blamed me."

I frown. That didn't seem fair. They knew he struggled with his thirst. Edward threw me into a pile of glass. Jasper was a member of their family, I wasn't. I was a human, a take out.

"Well I'm sorry about that Jasper, you didn't attack them, you attacked me and I forgave you." I shrugged, of all the things that happened in the past that was something I'd never had a problem dealing with.

Sighing he whispers "Thank you Bella" and I felt his gratitude wash over me in a warm wave.

We fall silent again and I focus on my drink to avoid lapsing into another Jasper coma.

"So, questions?" He asks reluctantly.

"I don't understand why you are doing this if you feel so uncomfortable with it." I blurt.

"Bella no offence but vampires and humans aren't supposed to mix, except at meal times." He pauses waiting for a reaction and continues when he doesn't get one. "I was angry with Pete and Char last night for wanting to interact with you but I'm here tonight doing the same thing. I'm not really sure why, probably because I feel that you need some answers and I owe you."

I squash down the disappointment that tries to surface. See, I scold myself, I told you this wasn't a date!

"Okay, I appreciate your honesty and that you're going against your instincts to help me out but you don't owe me anything. You killed James, remember?"

He runs his hands through his blonde hair frowning. "I don't quite see it that way but anyway we shouldn't have all just gone off and left you. It must have been hard on you."

I shrug not wanting to go there. "Let me get another drink and then maybe you can start by explaining what happened after my _glorious _birthday party?"

**JPOV**

I settle back into the booth and watch her fine ass undulate across to the bar. Fuck me the view coming back is gonna be good, she's not wearing a bra.

What the fuck is wrong with me? This isn't a date Whitlock, get your brain out of your dick and concentrate on what you're doing. You're a hundred sixty five years old, you can do this.

The woman's human and she's someone else's mate.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. Can you have a pre-lemon? If so we might have a couple here.**

**Chpt 4 Q & A**

**BPOV**

In a rare moment of efficiency I get myself two large glasses of wine and return to the booth. The butterflies have finished their coffee break and have started limbering up again.

"What happened to your beer?" I ask as I slide back into my seat. Kudos to me, I must have surprised him some how because his mouth is hanging a little bit open and he shifts uncomfortably in his seat.

"Pot plant." He indicates one of Brad's prized ferns next to the booth.

Taking a slug of the first wine I decide to wade straight in. "What happened after the party and why did you guys leave?"

"I'm not sure how much you know so I'm just gonna tell you everything I know, okay?"

"Please Jasper, just be honest, I'm tired of lies even if they're intended to protect me. I'm a big girl now." I want to know all of it, I'll deal with any emotional fall out later.

He locks eyes with me as he starts to talk and time falls away. "Did Edward tell you that we relied on his mind reading ability when it came to humans being suspicious about us? He couldn't do that with you, that freaked him out but it was ten times worse after he pulled you out from under that van. Obsessed by your blood and frustrated by your closed mind instead of staying away from you like most of us thought he should the idiot decided to make friends with you. Any opposition in the family melted away when Alice told him he was going to fall in love with you, they were enchanted by the idea of Edward finally finding his mate. Edward's the eternal angst ridden teenager. All the while he was busy falling for you he was also busy worrying about your safety in our world and he was right. Of course it wouldn't have been a problem if he would just change you but oh no, he loved you too much to damn you to our life! When I tried to drain you on your birthday it confirmed every fear he'd ever had. He decided to do the right thing as he saw it and remove himself and all of us from your life so you could move on and be a normal human. There was one hell of an argument but eventually the family caved in to his wishes and we packed up and went back to Alaska. I think they thought he wouldn't be able to stay from you and that's why they agreed, I know that's what Alice believed."

"Why did the family think he'd come back?" I ask.

"Because he loves you."

"No he doesn't!" I retort indignantly.

"Bella, empath, remember?" Jasper taps his forehead. "He loved you, he was obsessed with you."

"Jasper, I don't want to call your gift into question but if you love someone you don't just fuck off and never come back. You don't tell that person they aren't good enough for you and cannot hold you from your 'distractions' and you, you don't . . ." The anger and frustration I feel overwhelms me and I lose my words.

"Bella, he's stuck for ever at 17, he doesn't always make very good choices but he did love you and I expect he still does."

My eyes narrow and I seize on his words. "What do you mean you expect? Don't you see him anymore?"

"No I haven't seen him since a couple of weeks after _that_ party."

"Isn't he with the family?"

"On and off, as far as I know."

"Jasper, this is like pulling teeth. What do you mean 'as far as you know'? Does that mean that _you_ are not with the family?"

He frowns, contemplating how much to tell me. "I left not long after Edward. Alice and I broke up. There was no reason to stay."

"Jasper, Alice, what?" Another shock, particularly as I've been lusting after him since last night and not once has it crossed my mind until now that he is my ex best friend's husband. I _have _changed.

He shrugs. "It had been on the cards for quite a while, Alice and I always knew we wouldn't be together forever my, actions the night of your party just sealed the deal."

"I'm so sorry." I whisper. And I am. "So much shit caused by such seemingly simple decisions, mine, Edward's, J . . . You could go mad trying to figure it all out."

"Then don't." He soothes, placing his hand gently over my own on the table. "It's not our job to figure it all out. Take responsibility for your own actions and let others take responsibility for theirs."

I marvel at the feel of his skin lightly resting on mine and look up into his eyes again. Whoops, Jasper coma.

Joel rescues me arriving suddenly at our table and smirking down at our hands. "How's the catch up going?"

"Good thanks" Jasper replies smoothly "we've laid a couple of ghosts and we're just off for a dance."

"We are?" I ask stupidly.

"We are." He replies firmly, taking my hand in his and pulling me to my feet and away from the table.

I turn back to find Joel winking at me.

Jasper picks out a spot on the dance floor and releases my hand. Awkwardly I start moving to the music my eyes fixed firmly on his chest as I daren't risk locking eyes with him again. Gradually he dances closer so that my nose is almost rubbing on him and then raises his hand and uses his finger to gently lift my chin until our eyes meet. The butterflies are having a smack down in my stomach. Lowering his hand he places it on my hip, gently stroking my hipbone with his thumb then does the same with his other hand. My whole world is reduced to his mesmerising gold eyes and gently circling thumbs and I don't know if its heaven or hell. Unconsciously I rub my thighs together wondering what it would feel like to close the gap and have his body against mine. Slowly he begins to pull me towards him and it's like exquisite torture, I want him to hurry but at the same time I don't want the anticipation to end. Our hips meet first and the feel of his erection grinding slowly against me causes me to groan and close my eyes, my head falling back slightly. His right hand slides slowly up from my hip until it is splayed against the bare skin of my back and he gently pushes my chest into his. When I feel his cool breath against my neck my knees give out and he tightens his grip reflexively to hold me up.

I open my eyes to find him frowning even though he's still holding my body tightly to his and moving us sensually to the beat of the music.

"Perhaps we should go and sit down?" He suggests.

Weakly I nod my head and allow him to half lead, half carry me back to the booth. Flustered I get stuck into my second glass of wine. Eventually my palpitating heart calms and I am able to look at him again.

He regards me steadily for a moment and then prompts softly "Do you have another question Bella?"

Briefly I concentrate on my gratitude, for giving me an out to my current lust addled predicament and he rewards me with a smile to let me know he felt it.

"Are you still in contact with the Cullens?"

"No, I hadn't spoken to them in years until Alice came to see me a couple of weeks ago."

"Oh." My goodness Bella, was that jealousy?

"Yeah, oh." He ran his hand through his hair again. "I don't know what she wanted, she stayed a couple of days, pissed everybody off and then left."

"Everybody?"

"I live with _my _family now, Peter and Charlotte. We're all Whitlocks." Sensing my question he elaborates. "I changed Pete and Char back in the old days, I'm their Sire. We have a lot of history together."

"Whitlock?" I ask, intrigued.

"My human family name, I'm using it again now, Pete and Char have always used it."

"They're not vegetarians?"

"No, they're more like a social service. They feed on the scum of society."

"Judge, jury and executioner?" I huff, the cop in me offended.

"Don't judge people and situations you don't understand." He shoots back.

I pick my drink up again and toy with it feeling naïve and foolish. "I'm sorry." I mutter.

"It's okay. Edward was always very careful what he told you about vampires and made sure the rest of us did the same. He wanted to protect you from the _awful _truth as he saw it. Now there's someone who's judgemental."

My curiosity spiked. "It doesn't sound as if you like him very much."

"I don't. He's a prissy little know all, used to getting his own way and convinced he understands people because he can read their minds."

"He didn't seem to like you very much." I counter.

"He doesn't" Jasper chuckles, amused. "But that's because he doesn't know me very well. If he did he'd absolutely fuckin' loathe me."

"Why?"

"Ah now darlin' that's definitely a conversation for another time."

"It is?" I ask stupidly, excited by the idea that I might get to see him again after tonight.

"Yes." He answers, frowning again. "Would you like another drink?"

"Yes please." He stands abruptly and strolls over to the bar. Once again the crowd parts round him and I realise that even though I don't feel it other people instinctively shy away from him recognising him on some primal level as the predator he is.

His place is instantly taken by Joel and I roll my eyes.

"You seem to be getting on well." He observes wryly.

I wavy my hand airily. "He's just an old friend Joel."

"Oh yeah. I saw you two dancing and there wasn't anything friendly about it, I got a hard on just watching."

"Joel, you get a hard on every time a woman wanders into your field of vision."

"I'm hurt Bella that you think me so shallow."

I laugh leaning over to slap his arm. "I know you to be so shallow."

Joel's eyes narrow as he watches Jasper at the bar.

"He looks dangerous." He muses.

For Joel's benefit I shrug and ask "What do you mean? He's just Jasper."

"He _exudes _danger like it's seeping out of his pores. What does he do for a living?"

Shit. Cop's instincts. "Bits and bobs. His family are very rich."

Joel snorts. "Has he been in the army do you know?"

I shrug again, remembering Jasper's comment about military training.

Joel continues. "You should ask him, there's a confidence and 'don't fuck with me' vibe about him. Anyway, he's coming back and I don't want to cramp your style. Have fun Bells." With a wink at me and a nod at Jasper he takes his leave.

Curious I watch Jasper intently as he walks back and slips into his seat. Intellectually I know he's dangerous, I saw him destroy James but I've never _thought_ of him that way. There _is_ an air of confidence and danger about him though and it's sexy as hell.

"Another question Bella?" He asks, quirking his eyebrow at me.

"What are the Whitlocks doing here in LA?"

"Well darlin' I guess you could say we're taking a vacation."

"A vacation?"

"It's complicated."

"Question for another time?" I ask sarcastically.

Sighing he runs his hand through his hair again. "Pete has a gift, like intuition or as he puts it he just knows shit. Not like Alice, he doesn't see the future he just gets these _feelings _about things that are gonna happen or need to be done. It's irritatin' but he's never wrong."

"And he had a _feeling _you guys had to come to LA?"

"Yeah but he didn't know why."

"So has anything happened?" I ask.

"Only you Bella," he murmurs "only you."

Groaning I lower my head to the table, the weight of the last twenty four hours catching up with me suddenly. I'm only human after all.

"Would you like me to take you home?" He asks quietly.

"Yes."

Silently he rises and offers me his hand. I take it without thinking allowing him to lead me outside to the parking lot and help me into his truck. When we pull up at my apartment building I am sitting silently staring out of the windshield my mental gears still slipping and unable to process anything. Without a word Jasper helps me out of the truck and walks me to my door his hand resting comfortingly on my back.

I step inside my apartment and turn to him in the doorway, our eyes locking again.

Nervously I bite on my lower lip unsure what to do or say. I want to spend more time with him, I still have so many questions and I just don't _want_ this to be the last time I see him but my own sense of worthlessness and fear of rejection keeps my mouth closed.

He reaches out, freeing my lower lip and smoothing it out gently with his thumb, his fingers curled under my chin. Leaning down he softly brushes his lips across mine, causing me to gasp. Moaning he slides his hand around my neck into my hair placing his other hand in the small of my back. Pulling us closer together he deepens the kiss licking across my lower lip with his tongue and gaining access to my mouth as I fist my hands in his silky hair. Our tongues dance exploring each other hungrily while the butterflies in my stomach ignite.

I don't know how long we kissed, pressing our bodies together, it could have been forever and I wouldn't have minded.

Slowly we break apart both of us breathing heavily.

"Oh fuck." He groans, taking a step backwards into the hall without breaking eye contact.

Oh fuck indeed.

**A/N Thanks to those of you who have already reviewed, I **_**really **_**appreciate it. Feedback is always welcome, it's cold and lonely out here on this limb . . . **


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. Pre-lemons. How far can you go before it becomes a lemon, that is the question . . . **

**Chpt 5 Making Friends**

**BPOV**

My alarm clock pulls me from another dream. I was on my sun lounger again, this time watching a cotton pyjama bottom clad Jasper, with bare chest and bare feet, performing Tai Chi.

Grumbling I haul myself upright viciously rubbing my eyes. Stupid sexy vampires. This shit has been going on for three days now and I'm about ready to explode with frustration.

After our kiss Jasper had a human moment and mumbling something about seeing me soon made a run for it. Leaving me standing there like an idiot with lips and loins afire.

As I didn't have to work on Sunday I had a whole day to myself to hash over everything that had happened and try to work out my feelings.

In my usual way I sorted my issues into piles and went through them one at a time.

Starting with Edward. I am very angry with Edward, the stupid jerk. My Edward, the one from my dreams and memories, he I still love and I grieve over his suffering as I do my own. Real Edward however makes my blood boil. The arrogance and lack of thought in his actions and words is breathtaking. And the consequences. Aargh! It makes me want to go out and buy a lighter.

The Cullens. I'm a bit startled to realise that I didn't really ask about them and don't really care.

And Jasper. The crush hasn't gone away, if anything its getting worse. I vacillate between thinking about ripping his clothes off and having my way with him and wondering about him. He's a sexy enigma. Yeah, I've got it _that_ bad. Normally, if you could call my faulty libido normal, I would be anxious at this point about when the object of my desire will call me. However the un-natural calm from the other night suffuses me. I am sublimely fatalistic about what may or may not happen next. Either I will see him again, which will get my lady parts doing a happy dance or I won't. In which case I can go back to marking vampire free days on my calendar again, like a recovering alcoholic, and get on with living my life. I'm sure the sexual frustration will fade eventually.

Finished with my mental re-cap in the shower I get dressed and stomp off to work.

It's a long and exhausting shift and twelve hours later I drag my weary body home to find Jasper sitting cross legged outside my front door holding a bottle of wine.

His golden eyes twinkle as he waggles the bottle at me. "I understand humans bring presents when they visit each other."

"Um, yes, they do Jasper but usually when they've been invited."

He looks at me expectantly.

"Jasper" I ask, trying to suppress a bubble of excitement "would you like to visit with me this evening?"

"Yes" he replies rising fluidly to his feet and following me in.

"Can you amuse yourself for a minute while I take a shower?" I ask. "I've had a long day."

"No problem, I'll open the wine and perv over your electronic equipment."

I stop walking, the question evident on my face.

"It's a man thing" he chuckles "we like to feel up other people's technology."

"Oh." There isn't much you can say to that really.

Normally after work I would chill out in my sweats but in Jasper's honour after my shower I dig out a pair of yoga pants and a tank pinning my wet hair up haphazardly.

Coming out of my bedroom I find him looking over my bookshelves. He turns towards me with a smile which immediately slips from his lips.

"What?" I demand, offended. It's not like I'm deliberately trying to provoke him but still, not the reaction I was hoping for.

"Sorry" he murmurs his hands ghosting out the shape of my body "you look, um, _nice_."

Flushing I grab the bottle of wine from the counter and busy myself pouring a glass nearly dropping both when I feel Jasper come to stand close behind me. He gently strokes up and down my bare arms with his fingertips, sending shivers down my spine and causing my nipples to harden.

"Don't be embarrassed darlin'" he whispers, his cool breath blowing across my ear "I can feel how much you want me." His stroking fingers are randomly brushing the outer swell of my breasts and as if they can read my mind they reach out to ghost across my straining nipples. I gasp and my lady parts spasm. His low dirty chuckle weakens my already wobbly knees and I slump back against him. "Can you feel how much I want you?" He growls quietly bucking his hips into me.

I nod, unable to form words out loud. I certainly can feel how much he wants me, his _want _is pressing into me in the most delicious manner. Oh my, I'm in a lot of trouble and way out of my depth. I might not be the innocent virgin from Forks any longer but I'm far from a sexual sophisticate.

Laughing he uses his body to push me into the counter so it will support my weight and steps away, sauntering over and flopping down on the couch while I try to pour a glass of wine with shaking hands.

Thoroughly rattled I perch in the chair furthest from him and regard him warily. All of a sudden he feels very dangerous to me and not because I fear he's going to kill me.

"Jasper are you seducing me?" I ask querulously.

"Yes ma'am, I believe I am." He answers in that sexy southern drawl. "Does it bother you?"

"Um, no."

"You don't sound very sure. I think you need to be sure." His eyes bore into mine.

"Yes." I answer surprised by the strength in my voice. "I'm sure."

A triumphant smile spreads across his face. Shit. What the hell have I gotten into now?

Leaning back with his hands behind his head and his cowboy boots crossed on the opposite arm of the couch he is the very picture of a relaxed predator.

"So" he begins, continuing to smile at me "it's my turn to ask questions tonight."

"Okay."

"How did you end up becoming a cop? No offence but it's a bit out of character for the Bella Swan I remember in Forks."

"My dad was a cop" I bridle in indignation "how is it out of character to want to take after him?"

"Was?"

"He died a couple of months after you guys left."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know." His gold eyes fill with compassion. "What happened?"

"He had a heart attack." True enough. He narrows his eyes at me but doesn't speak. Of course, he knows from my emotions that I'm hiding something.

I tilt my chin up focussing on my feelings of defiance and dare him to challenge me on it. Surprisingly he raises his hands in acceptance. "Okay darlin' you can tell me when you're ready. You can tell me anything I don't judge, I've a past of my own and might understand better than you think."

"Humph."

"So you're a cop because of your dad?" He pushes.

"Not entirely." For withholding information I feel obliged to be a little fuller in my response. "I got tired of always being the weak one that needed to be protected. I wanted to be stronger and I wanted to be useful, I wanted to protect someone else for a change."

He is quiet, processing my answer and regarding me with understanding. "You always were at the mercy of others weren't you?"

I nod, touched by his intuition and by the fact that he respects my wishes enough not to pry.

"So _do_ you feel stronger now?" He asks, projecting his curiosity at me.

"I don't know Jasper. I'm still trying to work out what my definition of strong is. For now I'm strong enough to cope with the consequences of my actions and while that might sound stupid to you it means a lot to me."

"Actually Bella it makes perfect sense to me. There's some stuff I'll tell you one day which will help you understand why. And if it means anything I think that makes you pretty strong." He looks at me pensively for a moment before concluding. "I thought that you and I were totally different, based mainly on the fact that I'm immortal and you're a human but the more time we spend together the more I realise how irrelevant that difference is."

"How old are you Jasper?"

"Almost every day of 165 years." He answers smiling ruefully.

"And you've only just worked out that people are basically the same whether they're made out of marble or squishy flesh and blood?" I favour him with my own smirk.

"Apparently so Miss Swan."

"And what has brought you to this startling conclusion?"

"Well darlin' that would be a combination of the realisation that you and I seem to have a lot in common and the very strong _desire _I have to make you scream my name in ecstasy."

"Oh."

"Often." And he waggles his eyebrows at me comically dissipating the building tension and making me laugh.

Relaxed again I get up and refill my wine glass and when I turn back I find him sitting up on the couch, patting the space next to him. Suddenly nervous and embarrassed I pad over to him, chewing my lower lip and settle slowly onto the couch a good foot away.

"Don't be nervous Bella." He says, taking my hand gently in his and rubbing circles on my palm with his thumb, sending my lady parts a fluttering. Holy shit, this man's got magic thumbs, imagine what the rest of him's going to do to me.

"It's still my turn to ask questions, why don't you tell me what you will about what you've been up to since Forks." He suggests.

So while we sat there holding hands I told him everything that had happened since I left Forks. I told him about my deteriorating relationship with Renee and how she wouldn't come to Charlie's funeral. I told him about wanting to come to the LAPD Academy but not being able to start until I was twenty one. I explained how Charlie's insurance money and the sale of the Forks house allowed me to get an apartment in LA straight away and do low paid jobs until I was old enough to start. I made him howl with laughter when I regaled him with stories of the self defence classes I'd taken to boost my confidence and the slow and torturous taming of my klutzy nature. I told him about my disastrous and only visit to a tanning salon and my often physically painful attempts to learn to do my make-up and hair properly. And because I was once again enveloped in that preternatural calm I told him how lonely I had been until I started at the Academy and how while I didn't yet feel like I belongedI at last felt _involved_.

I close out my monologue with a huge and unexpected yawn.

"You're tired." Jasper pronounces.

"Yes. Sorry Jasper, policing is a bit more gruelling than high school and I need to get some sleep before I'm back on duty tomorrow."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have kept you talking."

"It's okay." I give his hand a tentative squeeze and nonchalantly add "It's nice to have a friend to talk to."

Rising to his feet he pulls me with him wrapping his arms around my waist and dipping me backwards.

"Friends?" He growls his nose almost touching mine.

"Well yes Jasper" I sass feeling brave all of a sudden "you've talked a good game but there's been a distinct lack of seducing for the last hour or so."

Fascinated I watch his eyes darken before he suddenly hefts me over his shoulder and carries me at vampire speed into my bedroom throwing me onto the bed. Immediately his is on top of me holding himself away from me with his arms.

"Are you dissin' my seducing skills Miss Swan?" He demands.

I shake my head, biting my lip.

"I think you are." He leans in closer until our noses are almost touching again.

"No" I shake my head again breathing in and registering his saddle soap and hay scent for the first time "your seducing skills are very effective."

"Damn straight they are darlin'. Allow me to demonstrate."

Lowering his head he kisses along my collar bone from my shoulder to my neck and slowly down my breast bone to the top of my tank, working his way back up and out to my other shoulder.

Raising his head he nuzzles my ear before kissing along my jaw bone capturing my lower lip between his and sucking it gently into his mouth.

"Jasper" I moan, my voice thick with need.

Sliding his tongue into my mouth he licks lazily around the inside of my lips before withdrawing and pulling away leaving me panting heavily and ramming my poor thighs together.

"Pete and Char want us to join them for a night out on Friday are you up for it?" He asks, smirking evilly at my over excited state.

"I'm on duty, I can be at the bar for about 11."

"Perfect." He drawls leaning down to give me a chaste peck on the lips. "I'll see you then. Goodnight Bella."

And he's gone. Stupid seducing vampire.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. Lemon!**

**Chpt 6 Friends with Benefits**

**BPOV**

The last few days have flown by. Work has been amazing. I've done crowd control at a big movie premier, caught a purse snatcher (on foot, no less), found three stolen cars, dealt with an old lady with major neighbour issues, been slapped by a drug addict and spent three hours locked in a cell at the station because cops thinks it's funny to do that to rookies. Other than Joel ribbing me about my upcoming date with my old boyfriend's brother it's been a blast.

When I haven't been pumped up on my job I've been thinking about Jasper, taking a lot of cold showers and buying a lot of random skimpy underwear.

Tonight is the night. My shift is over and all I have to do now is face the trauma of getting ready in the locker room with a host of prying eyes and filthy innuendo. Hey ho. I'm going for comfort tonight, grey hipster skinny jeans with my black biker boots, a purple wrap top that emphasises my cleavage while showing my abs and my beloved black leather biker jacket. Hair down, heavy on the kohl, sparkly purple eye shadow and sparkly purple lips. Lush, even if I do say so myself.

In a state of hopeless over excitement I make it to Brad's ten minutes early. Jasper, Peter and Char are already waiting at the bar. Suddenly shy I make my way over to them slowly, chewing my lower lip. Jasper meets me half way, slipping his arm around my shoulder and pressing his lips briefly but passionately to mine, rendering me incapable of speech. Chuckling he leads me over and makes introductions.

"Bella, this is my brother Peter and his wife Charlotte."

"Nice to meet you Bella." Char smiles her eyes twinkling, extending her hand and shaking mine lightly.

Pete offers his hand and when I take it pulls me in for a massive and slightly inappropriate hug.

"Mmm," he whispers in my ear as his hands wander over my ass "anything more than a handful goes to waste."

I extricate myself laughing and move back to the safety of Jasper while Char cuffs him affectionately round the ear.

"I'm sorry Bella" she says "he's harmless really, you'll get used to him."

"Right then" Pete becomes all business, slapping his hands together "not that I don't like it here but, I have, at considerable expense, got us VIP tickets to a hot new club downtown so lets blow this joint."

In the truck Pete interrogates me like a pro. By the time we get to the club he's got cliffs notes on my academic history, musical, literary and movie preferences, dietary requirements, political views and bra size. All to the tinkling background of Char and Jasper rocking with barely contained laughter.

As he hands the monster truck over to the valet he startles me with one last question. "Do you like sex Bella?"

"Um, yes?"

"Excellent! You and J'll get on like a house on fire. Let's go dance."

"Sorry." Jasper mutters with feeling as he drapes his arm over my shoulder.

The club, Dionysus, is a little awe inspiring. It's full of the beautiful people and for the first time in a while I feel like an invisible frump.

"Stop it." Jasper orders as he holds my chair out for me. "You're just as gorgeous and a lot less fake than the other woman here."

A waitress takes our order and as she sashays away Pete comments loudly "Jeez, did you see the size of the fun bags on that?"

Though I should disapprove I can't help but laugh, his eyes are big and round like saucers.

By the time the drinks arrive Pete and Jasper are hanging over the balcony surveying the dance floor talking at vampire speed and Char is grilling me on life as a cop.

While I sip my wine she tells me about their lifestyle, how they own several houses across the country but also spend a portion of their time wandering like nomads. The best of both worlds as she puts it. Unlike the Cullens they never go to school but have done the odd college course and job over the years when the fancy takes them. It's fascinating as the only other vampires I know have either had twigs in their hair or been domesticated to the nth degree.

Deciding Char and I have had enough time to bond the guys re-claim our attention and drag us off the dance floor.

There is no awkwardness this time, Jasper's hands immediately slide onto my hips, his thumbs rubbing those intoxicating circles on the exposed flesh above my jeans, my own arms resting on his. Our eyes meet and falling into the Jasper coma is as natural and welcome as breathing. We dance like this, lost in our own world for what feels like forever our bodies moving together sometimes touching and sometimes just shadowing each other like swans mating.

Our trance is broken by Pete "You know that staring stuff is really cute an' all but you're ignoring your friends!"

"Sorry Pete," Jasper answers "Bella, would you like another drink?"

"Please." I croak.

Back at the table our waitress makes a prompt appearance. Pete's eyes narrow as she takes our order and I swear I can see the cogs whirring in his mind and I'm not the only one, Char grins and rolls her eyes.

A few minutes later she returns with our drinks and as she places the last one on the table Pete's eyes go wide and innocent and as she walks away he asks loudly "If those are real and my wife will let me do you think I can play with them later?"

Shocked I choke on my drink. Jasper reaches over and slaps me heartily on the back.

"Sorry darlin' Pete loves an appreciative audience, you laughed the first time so now you're pretty much screwed."

"Yeah sug" Char chuckles "you need to work on that poker face!"

"Yeah" Pete heckles "I know you're sweet and innocent an' all but you need to toughen up sweet thing."

"Sweet and innocent Petey?" I shoot back. "I body searched three prostitutes today and that's more pussy than you're gonna get!"

The table erupts in laughter and when he's calmed down enough Pete shakes my hand and addresses Jasper "J, I told you we were gonna like her."

We talk a little longer but after I've lapsed into a Jasper coma for the third time Pete calls an end to the evening.

"I can't take any more" he declares theatrically "you two are throwing off so much lust little Pete's straining at the leash and I've gotta go home and bang my beautiful wife."

"Oh baby" Char moans throatily shifting herself onto his lap "you sure know how to turn a girl on."

"If you don't stop grindin' on me _mi amor_ we ain't gonna make it home and Bella's gonna be traumatised for life."

Hopping up quickly Char grabs his hand and pulls him to his feet. "Come on you two" she urges "my man needs me!"

The drive home sends both my nerves and my libido over the top, by the time we get to my apartment I'm a quivering wreck.

"Nighty night" Pete calls as Jasper helps me from the truck "don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"Night sugar" Char adds, winking at me "have fun."

Chuckling, Jasper drapes his arm over my shoulders and walks me to my door.

Awkward moment, do I invite him in for coffee? Is he expecting to come in? My dithering is interrupted when Jasper spins me round at lightening speed, pinning me against the door with his body and pushing his thigh between my legs. My mouth falls open in surprise and he's on it in a second his lips crashing into mine and his tongue flicking into my mouth with an urgency that takes my breath away. Our hands are all over each other's bodies teasing, grasping and tangling in our hair and I'm fighting the urge to climb all over him and wrap my legs around his body.

The lust blows away all my nerves, I'm nothing if not practical and I'd hate my last thought as they scrape me off the front of the bus to be 'damn, I wish I'd done Jasper when I had the chance'.

Opening the door I squeal as he lifts me up bridal style and carries me inside, kicking the door shut behind him. Lowering me to the ground he spins me round capturing my lips in another searing kiss.

He continues to kiss me thoroughly and passionately, walking me slowly backwards from the door to the foot of my bed where he releases me and steps back gazing deep into my eyes, his own darkening.

Slowly he removes his t-shirt revealing his perfectly sculpted chest, so much better than my feeble mind had imagined, his abdominals are flawless and well defined giving way to the perfect v which draws my eyes to the top of his low slung jeans. Unconsciously I lick my lips earning a low dirty chuckle.

Discarding his shirt he steps towards me again reaching out and gently untying my top, tracing his hands across my shoulders and down my arms as he eases it off. Our eyes lock. Reaching behind me I unhook my bra and slide the straps from my shoulders clamping my arms to my sides to keep it in place. Gently he reaches out with a finger and pulls it down and away, letting it drop to the floor with our other discarded clothing.

"Beautiful." He murmurs stepping closer.

Of their own volition my hands move to his shoulders, my fingers splayed out as I trace them across his shoulders and chest in wonder. His skin is like cool silk and there is a pleasing texture to it that I wasn't expecting. His head falls back and I lean in brushing my nose across his throat and inhaling deeply before darting my tongue out to taste.

He groans, placing his hands on my shoulders and pushing me down to sit on the bed. Kneeling swiftly he removes my boots and tosses them into the corner. Mimicking my actions he runs his hands across my shoulders brushing my collar bones with his thumbs gradually moving his hands lower until they are cupping my breasts. I moan in pleasure throwing my head back as he circles my nipples with his thumbs. His lips brush across my throat and I can feel his breath on my neck as he murmurs, too fast for me to catch the words.

With agonising slowness he kisses his way down my breast bone and unable to keep still I tangle my hands in his hair. Its sweet torture and my nipples are crying out for attention until he turns his head and laves one then the other with his tongue. I moan again as a rush of moisture escapes between my legs.

"I can _smell_ how much you want me." He whispers into my left breast, flicking his tongue over the nipple and making me shudder.

Once again placing his hands on my shoulders he pushes me down to lay on the bed before trailing them softly down my body, stroking my nipples on the way. He pauses above my jeans running one finger lightly backwards and forwards before unbuttoning them, sliding them down my legs and tossing them away.

"No panties?" he questions softly.

"Nu uh."

He runs his hands across my thighs and then gently moves my knees apart exposing me to him completely. "I can _see_ how much you want me."

I gasp and arch my back as his tongue travels delicately through my folds and flicks across my clit. "I can _taste_ how much you want me."

I am moaning almost constantly now, my whole body trembling as his magic thumb glides up and down my slick folds sending me into a frenzy of need. Once again his fingers read my mind as first one then two slide inside me pumping slowly, instinctively I clench my walls around them and Jasper growls into my thigh as his thumb continues to circle my clit.

"So warm, so wet" he groans "I can _feel_ how much you want me."

His words are another form of stimulation to my intoxicated body and my back arches again as I feel heat building within me, radiating out from my center.

He pumps his long fingers inside me faster and increases the pressure of his thumb. The heat turns into a raging fire and my limbs start to shake as my climax approaches.

"I can feel you cuming Bella, cum for me darlin'" he urges crooking his fingers and sending me over the edge.

As I come apart around his fingers my voice is a raw scream "JASPER!"

"One." He whispers.

**A/N I love your reviews and I thank you fervently, but it is still cold and more than a little lonely on my limb . . .**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. So, this would be one that turns on you, sorry . . .**

**Chpt 7 Working Girl**

**BPOV**

'Dear Diary

Sorry I haven't written for a while, I don't want you to feel bad but life's been a little too exciting recently to talk to a mere book.

I am reluctant to talk too much to you about Jasper because you are supposed to be a work diary and I have told you precious little about my first few weeks in the LAPD. So I will just say that he is the source of both my current happiness and latest fears. I have seen him most nights for the last couple of weeks when I'm not working, he arrives after the setting sun and leaves before dawn. Occasionally we go out with Pete and Char. We talk a lot and have a surprising amount in common for a human and a century and a half year old vampire. And is it possible to be a sex addict without actually having sex? If he doesn't make love to me soon I'm going to explode and what makes it worse is that I _know_ he's doing it deliberately to prolong the anticipation. What's worrying me is how long can he stay in a place where he can't go out during the day and what will happen when he leaves? I feel more alive now than I have ever done but never more so than when Jasper is touching me and I am touching him. When he leaves how, where, will I ever find that feeling again? It is sobering to think that I'm doomed to live without my one true love and now without my immortal lover. Oh god, I'm gonna end up old and bitter living with 20 cats and a vibrator! Enough, I have already decided to live in this moment and see where it takes me.

How can I describe my job? I have learnt so much since I joined the Academy and more still since I graduated and went on active duty. I am both more confident and more afraid than I have ever been in my entire life.

I've always been aware that bad things happen and bad people exist, I watch the news, read the papers and Charlie was a cop. However, it's one thing to know about it and another to have it shoved in your face every day. It's been quite an eye opener.

Murderers, rapists, pimps, abusers, drug addicts, drug pushers, robbers, awe inspiring crazy people, the list goes on and already I've been exposed to a lot of it. Over time it is bound to make me jaded and cynical but I hope I can keep a sense of perspective, there is good out there too. The lady who brought in a purse she found with $3,000 in it. The book store clerk who got shot in the leg trying to prevent a robbery in his local grocery store. The teasing at the station that hides how we all look out for one another, these people are my family now and I have a strong suspicion that they will be the only family I ever have. Which is one of the reasons the current hunt for a cop killer in the LA area is freaking me out.'

"Chadwick's diary?" Joel asks climbing into the cruiser and handing me my coffee and doughnut.

"Yep, it's useful. Did you do yours?" Chadwick's been at the Academy since rocks were invented.

"Still do, on and off."

"Really? When was the last time?"

"Couple of weeks ago when I got you assigned as my new partner." He chuckles.

"Aw" I'm touched "that's sweet."

"Hardly, I was wondering what joker decided to pair me up with a brunette midget."

"I am not a midget!" I shout, outraged.

"You are to me Bells, you are to me." He laughs, starting the engine and pulling out of the lot.

It's been a quiet day so far, giving Joel plenty of time to quiz me about my relationship with Jasper but our thoughts are never far away from what the cop killer, on whom the press are having a shark feeding frenzy. The first shooting happened as the cop was directing traffic on the freeway after a crash, the guy's still in hospital but expected to make a full recovery. The second was not so lucky and was killed responding to a violent disturbance call in an apartment building a few blocks east.

Late afternoon as our shift is winding down we get a call to a disturbance at a nearby apartment complex. Exchanging glances Joel shrugs and puts his foot down, flipping on the lights.

Another unit is already in the parking lot so we pull up beside it and survey the stucco three level complex through the windshield, Joel calls us in as onsite and we exit the cruiser making our way to the main archway which leads into a shady courtyard.

"Bells, why don't head over to the corner and see if there's another way into the courtyard" he nods to the right where an open air flight of steps marks the end of one block and the start of another "I'll go in this way and we'll meet up inside."

Nodding I jog down to the corner, giving him the thumbs up when I find an opening into the courtyard. Returning the gesture he indicates that we should head in.

Immediately I see three things, Joel's back as he stands in front of the archway looking to the opposite end of the courtyard which opens out into a pool area, Steve and Karl from the other unit approaching from there and the glint of something metallic on the roof of the block opposite.

"Weapon!" I scream out in warning about to sprint forwards, but I'm too late, before I've taken a stride there is a resounding crack and Joel's legs buckle toppling him forwards to the concrete.

Horrified I look up to find the rifle barrel swinging towards me, throwing myself backwards I crash into the concrete steps of the fire escape as another shot blasts debris from the spot where I was standing.

In a moment like this training takes over and even as I'm crawling around the steps to the parking lot I'm already on my radio. Reaching the asphalt I break into a run, drawing my weapon and heading to the archway.

Staying out of sight of the shooter I cautiously I peer in.

Joel has crawled to one of the raised flowerbeds, leaving a trail of blood behind him. As his eyes meet mine there is another crack and a puff of brick dust above his head, I let out a breath in relief, he also is now out of the line of sight but pinned down. We can't get to him and he can't get out.

"Is there another way round to that block?" I ask Steve as he runs up to my side.

"Karl's checking now, the complex backs onto the freeway and it's blocked in both directions, there was a tanker crash about half an hour ago."

"In rush hour?" The implication dawns on me.

"Yep, we're gonna get a limited response, that's if anyone can even get to us."

"Joel" I shout "are you okay?"

Grimacing he nods weakly.

Another rifle crack.

A huge pool of blood is spreading around him.

In the distance we can hear sirens, help is on the way.

Karl jogs up to us, his face concerned. "How is he?" He asks nodding to Joel.

"Safe for now, but he's bleeding heavily, we need to get him out of there. Can we get into that block?"

Karl nods his head "Yes but the roof door is barricaded from outside and when I tried to free it the fucker took a shot at the door."

"Are there any civilians in there?"

Karl shrugs, glancing at me "I dunno but until the SWAT team get here we're fucked."

"Do you think the shooter's still in there?" I ask, concerned by the spreading pool of blood around Joel.

"Probably, let's check." Whipping his hat off Steve flings it into the courtyard.

A shot rings out.

"Yep." We agree in unison as two more units an ambulance and the Captain screech into the parking lot.

The parking lot becomes a hive of activity behind as more people arrive and residents are evacuated and taken away but all I can do is hunker down in the archway, watching Joel watching me. Time passes and the shadows in the courtyard lengthen.

"Swan!"

"Yes Sir" I respond scurrying over.

"You were a hot shot at the Academy weren't you, won the title last year?" He asks eyeing me speculatively.

"Yes Sir."

"If we wait for the SWAT guys Cabot's going to bleed to death in front of our eyes. If I can get you up on the second floor of this wing" he indicates the apartments above us backing onto the parking lot. Do you think you could take the shot?"

"I think so Captain."

"You know what I'm asking you don't you Swan? And I shouldn't be with you being a rookie but that damn accident on the freeway is limiting our options."

"I understand. I can do it."

Lifting his hat he runs his free hand through his hair. "I'm gonna burn in hell for this." He mutters to no one in particular.

"Captain!" Another officer I don't know joins us at the run. "We gained access to a second floor apartment with a view of the roof."

"Come on Swan, before I change my mind. Lead on Marriott, we're right behind you."

The three of us set off at a run across the parking lot to the back stairs where I'd first entered the complex only an hour ago.

Stopping at the doorway to the apartment he turns looking me seriously in the eye. "Are you sure about this Swan? Once it's done you can't take it back."

"Yes Sir." This I already know, no amount of wishing will _ever_ take it back.

He nods, opening the door and ushering me inside. Silently we slip out between the balcony doors inching along the wall until I am able to peer round and look out over the courtyard.

There, 25 yards away on the roof of the opposite building, is our shooter, using the roof furniture as cover. I study him for a moment. Average height, average build in fact totally average looking nothing indeed to mark him out as someone who would suddenly flip and start killing cops going about their daily business.

Focussing my mind I draw my gun and leaning around again take careful aim with my arms braced on the balcony wall.

Taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly I gently squeeze the trigger.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason.**

**Chpt 8 Knowing**

**BPOV**

It's at times like these that I feel my _aloneness_.

The only person I would have considered talking to about any of this is lying in a hospital bed a few miles away, hooked up to a festival of tubing and starting the long, painful process of healing.

I am submerged in a black hole only a part of my mind aware of my predicament, the rest stuck on a feedback loop of my only friend bleeding his life out onto dirty concrete. Just because I am familiar with that feeling of powerlessness does not mean I find it any easier to accept. It's my permanent living nightmare of watching events unfold and not being strong enough or fast enough or enough of anything to affect it.

I do not know what time it is or even what day it is, I could have been curled up like this on my couch for _days_ and without physical needs and I would remain unaware. The sentient part of me wants to fight its way back to the surface but the rabbit in the main beams is in control now because idealised Bella, the one from Edward's time and real Bella are at war.

I register the sounds of banging at my door and eventually breaking glass but they do not influence me.

Words are spoken.

A pair of strong arms lift me, carrying me to my tub. More words, just sounds, white noise in the blackness. Tenderly I am undressed and lain in the warm water. Hands wash me, every inch of my skin, lathering and rinsing my hair, all the time the white noise. Wrapped in fluffy towels, bound tight between long legs, leaning against a marble chest and cocooned in muscular arms.

"Bella." He whispers. "Bella, come back to me. Darlin' come back to me, we can do this forever if that's what it takes but you need to talk to me, come back to me."

"Jasper?" My voice is barely there.

"I'm here darlin', I've got you."

I sigh, snuggling back into him and feeling his calm wash over me. "Thank you." I whisper.

"No, thank you" he chuckles wryly "I've been throwing calm at you since I got here and this is the first time it's had any effect. I thought ma gift was on the fritz."

I sigh again and his arms tighten around me. "No, I think it's me that's on the fritz tonight."

"I'm afraid I may have dented your front door and broken the glass on the balcony darlin'. I couldn't get you to respond and your emotions were all over the place. I might have panicked a bit." He concludes quietly.

"What was I feeling?"

"Sorrow, horror, fear, regret and self loathing. It was overwhelmin'."

I laugh bitterly, it certainly was but I'm back on the surface now and able to tread water. Would I have made it back on my own I wonder idly.

"What happened?" He asks quietly, pressing his lips to the top of my head.

In a dispassionate voice I tell him about today. Every sight, every sound and every word. He doesn't move or speak, without interruptions or questions he holds me tightly and he listens. When I finish silence stretches out.

"Is he dead?" He asks finally.

"No" I shake my head slightly "not yet. The Doctor's say its touch and go. I aimed for his arm, I really did, but it was a long shot and I missed. Now he might die."

"But Joel will live?" He asks.

"Yes, I saved his life." And there is the nub of the issue. Joel will live. The shooter might die. Idealised Bella wants to wail, rend her hair and grieve for the life potentially taken, for his friends and family. Real Bella would shoot him again in a heartbeat to save Joel's life.

"Bella it's a hard thing that you did but you did it for the right reasons, you need to focus on that."

"I already know that Jasper." I snap, unreasonably. "And the psychologist told me the same thing tonight before they let me come home."

"What happens now?"

"Captain Harris and I are suspended while they investigate. Use of deadly force is a sensitive issue, we could lose our careers or even be prosecuted."

"How do you feel about that?"

"Honestly?" I shrink in on myself a little while I admit my feelings. "There has to be some recourse, you can't just pin on a badge and go round shooting people without having to answer for it. But it pisses me off! No one made him shoot those other cops, no one made him shoot Joel. He made a choice. Even if he now turns out to have epic mental health problems or the world's worst drug habit he still made a choice."

Jasper shifts uncomfortably behind me.

"I'm a monster." I whisper.

"No Bella" he says with feeling "I'm a monster. You're someone who made a painful decision to save the life of a friend."

"You are not a monster Jasper!" I interrupt hotly. "You're a vampire, you have instincts and yet you try your hardest every day not to do what comes naturally to you."

"Like fighting a mental health or drug problem?" He asks.

"But it's not the same thing, you don't . . Oh." I'm slow, but I'm not stupid.

"Exactly." He sighs. "I've killed thousands of people Bella. And not always for food. Will you be judge, jury and executioner for me?" He finishes, throwing my words from the other night back at me.

"I'm sorry." I whisper, stroking his thigh. "I'm not thinking very clearly, I didn't mean to offend you."

"You didn't darlin'. I take full responsibility for my actions. I know how I came to do the things I did, my memory is unfortunately perfect but that doesn't mean it's easy to accept. I know better now but I should have known better then."

I sit up, turning around to face him and settling cross legged between his thighs.

"Tell me?" I ask, tentatively "Tell me what happened to you."

He sighs, running his hands through his hair in a gesture I'm coming to recognise. "I don't want to."

"Why, is it too painful?" I ask.

"No, I've learned to live with it because I don't have a choice but it isn't a pretty story and I'm not sure how you'll react."

Taking both my hands in his he looks deep into my eyes and tells me a story that makes my hair curl.

An eager young man from a simple background and loving family, who lied about his age to join the Confederate Army. His natural talent for soldiering and his charisma helped him rise rapidly through the ranks until he became their youngest major. And then one night it ended abruptly when he stopped to help three 'innocent' women on the road.

After three days of excruciating agony he woke to a brutal new reality. One where everything revolved around blood, who craved it, who controlled it and what they would do to get it. The Southern Vampire Wars. Where covens used armies of newborn vampires to fight for them because of their increased strength and disposability.

The strongest, fastest and most tactical of these newborns he survived while others perished, until he found favour with his evil mistress. He earned twisted rewards for his successes and lavish tortures and punishments for failing or disobeying.

He controlled and trained the newborns by the harshest of methods, destroying the _failures_ and the no longer needed. Master strategist and strongest warrior he led the survivors into battle after battle, a cold and merciless machine of war doing the bidding of his mistress.

As he learned about his emerging gift he used it ruthlessly to achieve his mistress's goals gradually coming to the conclusion that the gift was a curse, a divine punishment for the monster he had become. He felt _everything_ from those around him, the pain, the fear, the rage, the desire, the blood lust and the hopelessness. And love, Peter's love for Charlotte, instead of destroying them he let them go.

Withdrawing into himself he spiralled down into despair and was eventually rescued from the brink by two people who saw something in him he didn't see himself. Then he wandered with them, lost in depression but trying to re-find himself.

My heart clenches and twists in my chest with every revelation, every atrocity. The telling has taken a couple of hours and I sense that although he hasn't told me everything he has left out nothing but details that add flesh to the horror he has shared with me. I am speechless as I regard the man before me. He ought to be a raving lunatic! Instead he is looking into my eyes calmly waiting for what he obviously assumes will be my condemnation and revulsion.

"You're so strong." I gasp in wonder.

He drops his head, focussing on our hands.

"Jasper, you are not the man you think you are."

"Bella, I am that man" his head snaps up, his eyes hard "I will always be that man."

"No Jasper." My voice is a firm as my instinct. "That man would not have a family who love him and who he is able to love. That man would not be sat here on my bed trying to help me, an inconsequential little human, deal with her issues. That _man_ has never existed. Maria created a monster but she didn't turn you into one, if she had you wouldn't be here. How could anyone have changed enough to become what you are after what you went through? I don't know how you did it but the essence of Jasper Whitlock survived because he's here, holding my hands."

Jasper continues to stare at me and I sigh, thinking about my own feelings for a moment. "The shooter may be as much of a victim of life as you are but I can't fix the world or make bad things right. I can only deal with what I know and what I have in front of me. If this has happened because someone or something has destroyed him then I'm sad and I'm angry but it doesn't change anything. I did what I did to save Joel's life and I can live with that. And I won't judge what you did in the past, I can only judge what you do now."

He smiles, transforming his already beautiful face it into something else entirely.

"So what do we do now? He asks.

"Now I need to go to sleep. I'm exhausted." I yawn to illustrate my point.

"I'll go." He says, releasing my hands.

"No, please stay." I capture his hands back. "I don't want to be alone tonight."

When he nods I release his hands again climbing stiffly to my feet and going into the bathroom to change into some PJs. Returning I find my room empty so I settle myself between the sheets sighing in almost contentment.

"Jasper" I whisper "I meant stay with _me_, not my couch."

"Yes ma'am." He drawls, appearing and dropping down onto the bed next to me, gathering me and my covers into his arms.

I wake the next morning wound up in those covers like a sausage roll, an amused looking Jasper grinning down at me.

"What?" I demand.

"You are cute when you're asleep." He chuckles. "You talk."

"Yes, I do." I sigh, worried. "What did I say?"

"Nothing embarrassing and yes, I'd be delighted to practice my Tai Chi for you in pyjama bottoms."

"I knew you'd know Tai Chi!" I squeal.

"I do darlin' and I'd be happy to teach you, if you're prepared to learn in only your pyjama bottoms. That's a _very _stimulatin' image that works both ways."

I laugh and then abruptly feel terrible. What right do I have to be happy and flirting after yesterday?

"Bella." Jasper sighs, brushing his thumb across my cheek. "If there's one thing I _have _learned in this fucked up world it's to take your happiness where you find it. If you're off work for a couple of weeks why don't you come back to Montana with us?"

Oh the temptation. "I can't Jasper, I have responsibilities."

"To do what?" He asks knowingly. "To sit in your apartment wallowing in guilt?"

"What about Joel?"

"Bella, he has a family and after what you did I'm damn sure he knows you care about him and would understand if you needed to get away. You can talk to him in the phone."

"What if they want to interview me again?"

"Ask 'em."

So I do. And then I pack my bag to take a vacation with the Whitlocks in Montana.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason.**

**Chpt 9 Giving In**

**EPOV**

It is true that time means little to a vampire so when spending time with the family forcibly reminds me that it is more than four years since I left my beloved, I am more than a little shocked.

The pain of loss has been so constant I have barely noticed the passage of time. South America has been my only distraction, I first followed Victoria there in my futile attempt to track her and although it did not work out as I expected the continent feels like my closest link to Bella. More so than the tattered photograph I ripped from her album.

The family's thoughts are sympathetic but not understanding. They all think I am crazy, even if Rose's reasons are different.

I am beginning to wonder if they are right. The pain has not eased, nor has my ability to deal with it improved. Am I fighting fate? Is Bella really my mate, as Alice asserted so long ago? If she is why am I so bent on subverting what is meant to be? What right or ability do I have to fight it?

If I close my eyes I can see her face, inhale her scent and feel her fragile body in my arms.

Is she well, is she safe, is she happy? I want her to have a human life but what if she is not happy? If she is not well or safe then I can assist without her ever knowing I am helping her, keeping my promise. But if she is not happy, if she is not happy then perhaps I could make an effort to see her? To ascertain if she would accept me back into her life. Would that be so bad, under those circumstances? Would that be so wrong?

Either way, I should go and I should see.

Bella.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. **

**Chpt 10 Getting Away**

**BPOV**

The flight to Montana was uneventful but despite that I couldn't sleep, my poor over worked mind whiplashing between the shooting and the electric presence of Jasper beside me. By the time we landed and climbed into another zonking great truck even the breathtaking scenery wasn't able to prevent my eyes from drifting closed.

After a while an intense whispered argument rouses me from my cat nap.

"No way" Char hisses "sexist pigs! I haven't been grocery shoppin' in nearly one hundred years, one of you will have to do it."

"But we don't know what to get." Pete whines.

"What makes you think I fuckin' know, asshole." Char growls.

Rubbing the sleep from my eyes I cautiously sit up. We're in the lot of an enormous store and the three vampires are huddled around the hood of the truck watching it suspiciously like it's going to lean down and take a bite out of them at any moment.

"She likes pizza" Jaspers mutters, sounding unsure "we could get her a two week supply of frozen pizzas?"

Char reaches out and cuffs him lightly round the back of the head. "Even I know that's a shitty idea J. Humans are supposed to eat fruit and vegetables an' stuff."

At the sound of my laugh they all turn towards me looking guilty and embarrassed. Three vampires terrified of grocery shopping, funny as.

"I can get my own food" I tell them as Jasper helps me out of the truck "you guys wait here."

An hour later we pull up outside an honest to goodness ranch house complete with horses in the corral.

"Horses?" I choke out, horrified at the idea of such beautiful, noble creatures being kept as snacks.

"Horses, Bella." Jasper smirks reading my emotions. "Pete found a couple a few years back with no sense of self preservation and we've been breeding 'em ever since, we're still cowboys at heart. We'd never hurt a horse. Do you ride?"

Amazed I shake my head.

"I can teach you if you'd like?" He offers, inclining his head curiously.

"I'd like that." I answer quickly, an image of stripped to the waist Jasper on a horse flashing through my mind and tweaking on my lady parts.

Dazed I follow his low dirty chuckle up the porch and into the house.

The vampires watch in fascination as I pack my groceries away in their previously un-used kitchen, something I recognise from the Cullens, whether they realise it or not they're all childishly spellbound by human food. Then they traipse upstairs with me to J's room and watch again as I unpack my bag and put my toiletries in his bathroom.

"What?" I demand eventually, tired of all the staring.

"Sorry Bella" Char chuckles "we've never had a human here before."

"Great" I roll my eyes "are you all gonna stand there while I use the bathroom?"

"Fuck no!" Pete shouts, his eyes going wide. "You're on your own with that one sweet thing. Char, lets go downstairs and play hide the sausage."

Laughing they charge out of the room leaving Jasper and I alone. I return to my unpacking, fussing needlessly with my things as a thick tension builds in the room. Eventually glancing up I find him staring at me intently, his eyes dark.

Gasping I drop the clothes in my arms onto the bed, a rush of wetness pooling between my legs.

Instantly he is behind me, breathing hard as he brushes my hair over my shoulders pushing my head forward as he kisses and nibbles on the back of my neck. His hands are on my hips, his fingers splayed over my hipbones, his thumbs rubbing sensuously on the small of my back. His grinds his hips into me slowly, his tantalising erection massaging my ass.

Whipping round I attack his hard lips with my soft ones moaning wantonly when he grips my arms tightly and pushes me slightly away.

"Bella" he groans, pressing his lips to my forehead and slipping his arms around my waist "if we do this now I ain't gonna be able to stop and I can feel how emotionally exhausted you are. You need to rest."

Sighing I lean into him, resting my head on his chest and wrapping my own arms around him. He's right, damn him, now is not the time. We stand like this for an age before he releases me with a sigh of his own and I get ready for bed.

Tucking me in almost tenderly his presses his lips to mine briefly before leaving me to my much needed slumber.

**JPOV**

I don't understand why whenever I want to think I end up in a tree, must be something to with the primordial monkey genes I suppose.

My sharp eyes drink in the view while my fucked up mind tries to process what's happening to me.

Bella Swan. Where to start?

She is the most beautiful woman I have met in my entire existence. And sexy, my poor dick has been standing to attention since I saw her in that bar. Her character intrigues me, she's so strong and yet so fragile. She's funny and yet so incisive, cutting to the heart of the matter easily.

I'm a simple man and essentially a selfish one. I knew it was wrong to want her, because of her humanity and because of _him_. But I want her so much it's a physical ache, not just in my dick but in every part of my body and so I made a decision, a decision to go after her despite the potential consequences.

I don't understand why I can't leave her alone or why her presence in my home fills me with joy. Joy? Now there's a fuckin' emotion I don't feel very often.

I'm also a straight forward man. I want her and I can feel she wants me just as much but I have stopped short of actually making love to her. And not just for the reason she thinks, to heighten the anticipation, it's also because for once and for reasons I don't understand there will be significance to the act. A committal if you will, from which I instinctively realise there will be no turning back, at least not for me. It confuses me, normally if I want a fuck and the woman is willing then I'm 'in like Flynn' as the saying goes. But this is different and it scares the shit out of me, this time I feel like I will be giving a piece of me away that I'll never get back. Trouble is I'm not sure how much longer I can hold out, jeez, I sound like a girl.

What it makes it worse is that I have no insight into how she feels, how fuckin' ironic is that? The one time it matters and my gift is pretty much useless. All her emotions feel muted to me, like she's under hundreds of feet of water, I get them, or at least some of them but for the most part they are confusing. She didn't used to be like this, when she was with _him_ her emotions were always clear and vivid now I get that clarity rarely. She wants me but I get no feeling that she cares for me overly much or that she has any expectations of me other than the earth shatterin' lust we're both feeling. She's in lust with me.

I groan. When did it become a problem for a beautiful sexy woman to be in lust with me? What the fuck is wrong with me?

Grumbling I sense the approach of Pete's gleeful emotions a little while before I pick up his scent. In no time at all he's scaling my tree grinnin' like the asshole he is.

"Contemplatin'?" He asks, settling himself into the opposite branch.

"Thinkin' about Bella." I answer honestly.

"Ah" he muses "my little sweet thing. She's awesome J. Me an' Char are a bit in love with her already."

I roll my eyes. That fuckin' word suddenly makes my butt clench.

"An' of course we're enjoying the lust ya'll are projecting."

"Like you and Char need an excuse!" I huff, acutely aware of the _steaminess_ of their relationship. Only Rose and Emmett have felt worse, their vampiric tendencies jarringly at odds with the usually civilised atmosphere in the Cullen household.

"Is she okay?" He asks, suddenly serious and emitting concern.

"Yeah, I think so." I mutter, my chin dropping to my chest. "There's stuff she's not telling me that she's obviously strugglin' to deal with but basically she _feels_ okay. I wish she'd open up to me so I can help her. I don't like feelin' this useless."

"You love her." He states simply.

"What?" I ask, my head whipping up. "Don't be fuckin' stupid."

"Come on J, you might have fucked your way through most of the continental US but you're an experienceless pussy when it comes to matters of the heart."

"I've been in love before Pete, don't be a dick."

He roars with laughter, catching hold of a branch to stop himself fallin' out of the tree.

"You call that love?" He snorts when he's able to catch a breath. "You meet some random pretty in a diner when you're at your lowest ebb who tells you you're gonna fall in love with her and live a happy tranquil life! Shit J, you'd have developed feelings for anything, skirted or _trousered_, who offered you a lifeline at that point. You needed a calm orderly existence and she offered it ya on plate."

"I am so fucked." I sigh, dropping my head into my hands.

"Yes my emotional little friend, you are." Pete responds, reachin' over and slappin' me on the back. "And congratulations, this is about the best and the worst thing that's ever gonna happen to ya."

Snapping my arm out, fist clenched I punch the fucker out of the tree and listen to his laughter fade in the distance as he runs home.

He's right. I am in love with her. How the fuck is that ever gonna end well? She's a human. She's happy in her life, present trauma aside. I'm exactly the sort of monster she can't abide.

If my enemies, and fuck me they breed like rabbits, find out how I feel about her then she'll be in danger every second of every day. And so will I. Because there ain't anything I wouldn't do to keep her safe or to make her happy.

Strangely that's not my biggest fear, Alice is my biggest fear, or rather her visions. She told us, a long time ago, that Bella is Edward's mate and you never bet against Alice.

I have fallen in love with a woman who belongs, irrevocably, to someone else.

**BPOV**

I wake with a start. A strange room and a strange bed.

My momentary panic subsides when I instinctively recognise the room. Wall to ceiling shelves stuffed with books, functional yet good-looking furniture, cowboy hats, cowboy boots, sepia photographs and my own things, standing out against the background like technology in a museum.

Jasper's room. It's so him, its permeated by his scent, saddle soap and hay. There's even an actual saddle resting on the back of the couch and I can imagine him working on it late at night, his muscles flexing as he rubs oil into the already supple leather . . .

Groaning I roll onto my front pulling a pillow over my head. So now I'm in lust with his fucking room too! If I had the energy I would moan and writhe against everything in here. It's so him and it's so perfect.

"Bella!" Char's voice breaks into my dirty thoughts. "I'm havin' a go at breakfast, y'all better get down here before I burn the place down!"

Muttering about stupid vampires with food obsessions I heave myself out of bed and into Jasper's immoderately sized shower.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. Do you think I could stake a claim on Jasper's thumbs? Just askin'.**

**Rated M for a reason. Lemon!**

**Chpt 11 Scenery**

**BPOV**

Breakfast finished and watched over, of course, by the fascinated that are Pete and Char I wonder what has happened to Jasper. Where is he?

Answering my unspoken summons he breezes in from the porch, dishevelled, windblown and smelling startlingly of horse.

"Mornin' darlin'" he kisses the top of my head "I'll be down in a minute, I need a quick shower."

Lithely he sprints up the stairs two at a time.

"Sorry" I smile at Pete and Char "I have something I need to do."

Strolling casually away, to the sound of their dirty laughter, I follow Jasper upstairs at a more human pace.

Hearing the shower running I close the bedroom door behind me and pad softly over to the bed marvelling at what a brazen hussy I've become as I remove my clothes and climb in between the cool sheets.

Of course you can't surprise a vampire and a few moments later he exits the bathroom, water dripping down his body, modesty preserved by a sinfully small fluffy towel, an eyebrow already raised in question.

But my thoughts are no longer on seduction.

Now, in the daylight I understand the texture of his skin, the hundreds of bite marks criss-crossing his otherwise perfect body, twisting like vines across his arms, torso and legs interspersed with fine white lines like crease marks on a sheet of expensive paper. Forgetting my nakedness I climb out of the bed stalking towards him my hands already outstretched, wanting, needing to touch. He closes his eyes and submits reluctantly to my tactile investigation.

Delicately I trace my fingertips across the scars on his shoulders, pausing on the white line which rings his entire right arm near the joint. Moving down to his chest I use both hands to trace out the thick scar over his heart, unthinking I lean down and press my lips to it softly before moving on. There is a twisted mass of scars on his stomach, almost like a horde of zombies has tried to rip out his entrails. Trailing my finger lightly round his waist following another white line I move to walk behind him coming to a sudden stop when his hand flashes out and catches my wrist.

"What are you doing?" He asks in a low voice, without opening his eyes.

"Understanding." I respond calmly, pulling my arm away and continuing round behind him to ghost my fingers across the patterns inflicted there, pausing again to test the ropey scar on his right shoulder blade with my lips.

Returning to stand in front of him I drop my hands to my sides.

"Look at me." I demand, my voice trembling.

Slowly he opens his eyes.

"Is this why you wear long sleeves all the time and only undress for me in the dark?" I ask quietly.

Mutely he nods.

"Are you ashamed?" I whisper.

"No," he answers quietly "my scars are a part of who I am. In our world at least they mark me out as a warrior and a survivor, someone not to be messed with lightly."

"Then why do you hide them?"

"Because they also brand me as dangerous and deviant, someone frightenin' who's not to be trusted. Other vampires are either repelled and terrified of them or else they feel a need to prove themselves against me."

Considering his words I trace my own scar. "Does it hurt?" I ask thoughtlessly.

"Like a bitch. Venom is the only thing that marks us and if enough foreign venom is pumped into the wound its torture."

Immediately my eyes are drawn to the thick scar over his heart. Torture. I shudder. Oh Jasper.

I _need_. I need to do something to make him feel as good as he does me.

Raising my arms again I trace the planes of his body rather than his scars. He closes his eyes again letting his head fall back. My fingers eventually reach the top of his low slung, now almost horizontal towel and determined I yank it off letting it fall to the floor at our feet.

Reaching out I glide my hands along his length, running the fingers of one hand around the smooth wet tip and using the other to cup and squeeze his balls. His long drawn out groan sends vibrations though my body and with a mind of their own my knees lower me to the floor so I can worship him with my mouth.

Completely unaware of how to do this I go with my instincts, swirling my tongue around the tip pausing to lap up the moisture gathering there before licking and nibbling down his length, my hands massaging his balls while my fingers lightly stroke the amazingly soft skin just behind them. His cock twitches beneath my lips and with a groan of my own I open my mouth and take him inside stroking him with my tongue and sucking gently. Enjoying the feeling I gradually take more and more of him in, sucking harder.

His harsh breathing and trembling thighs increase my arousal, it feels _powerful_ that I am able to bring this, this, _godlike _man to such a state. My own wetness seeps onto my thighs as I take more of him into my mouth, setting a rhythm that has his tip nudging at the back of my throat while my hands shadow the movement around the rest of his length.

Muted sounds and words escape his lips "Mmm . . . . Bella . . . . So hot . . . . mouth . . . . ungh, god . . . . want . . . . Bella . . . . cum . . . ."

Turned on beyond all reason I increase the pace sucking harder and dropping one finger to stroke that amazing skin. His trembling increases as his cock begins to twitch in my mouth suddenly becoming harder still as he releases down my throat with an animalistic roar.

"BELLA!"

One, I think to myself with satisfaction as I slow the pace sucking and licking him clean before releasing him and rising to my feet. I lick my lips, mmm, I could make a fortune if I could bottle that taste.

His eyes open slowly. "You're going to kill me Bella Swan." He intones seriously before spinning me round suddenly flipping my hair over my shoulders and pushing my head forwards. Picking up where he left off last night he places his hands over my hip bones splaying his fingers and rubbing his thumbs into my back matching the rhythm with his lips on my neck.

My back arches and he tightens his grip with a groan pressing himself into me.

Agonisingly slowly he moves his hands around to my stomach, stroking gently with his long fingers, spiralling upwards until they are brushing the underside of my breasts. All the time grinding languidly against me making me moan and writhe.

"So beautiful." He murmurs against the base of my neck, his cool breath raising goose bumps on my skin. "Your body is such a perfect fit for mine." Raising his hands he cups my breasts squeezing them gently, still undulating against me. "Such an _optimal _fit for my hands."

His voice becomes deeper and throatier as he speaks causing a constant trickle of moisture to seep down my thighs making them slick, groaning I rub them together in sync with his undulating hips. Moving my arms backwards I grasp ineffectually at them, wanting and needing something in my hands.

Pushing me further forwards with his chest he begins to kiss and nibble at my spine between my shoulder blades, pulling himself slightly away from me so I can only feel his tip bobbing against me as he pinches and rolls my nipples between his fingers and thumbs.

Releasing one of my now marble hard nipples he drops his hand to rub it up and down between my thighs, spreading the slickness and making periodic contact with my heated center. Automatically I widen my stance enticing him with easier access but he does not relent and my knees begin to tremble with need.

"So wet for me Bella." He whispers into my spine, flicking his tongue out to lick up and down it while his hands continue to tease my thighs, nipple and center. "Do you want me to touch you Bella?"

Scream, oh god I need to scream. "Yes." I whimper.

Growling he straightens our bodies, moving one arm across my chest to pinch my opposite nipple while the other drops to my mound, thumb, that _fucking_ thumb circling lightly on my pubic bone.

"What do you need Bella?" He asks, once again grinding his erection against my ass.

"Touch me! Just fucking touch me!" I half moan half shout.

"Yes ma'am." He drawls into my ear, sliding his index finger into my folds and stroking it firmly back and forth.

I gasp, the trembling in my limbs increasing. And the heat, the heat is building within me.

"Will I make you turn to jelly Bella, with just my finger?" He whispers, nibbling on my ear and flicking his tongue into it. My walls clench releasing more wetness onto my thighs and his finger.

"Hmm. I think so. I think I can make you cum with just my finger."

Deliberately he releases my nipple and removes his lips from my ear, trailing his hand down my back and taking his erection in his hand so I can feel him stroking it gently behind me in perfect time to the movement of his finger on my clit.

"Oh you bastard." I groan my limbs beginning to twitch and tremble, my walls clenching now in time with his rhythm.

His low dirty chuckle stokes the flames licking out from my center.

Like a metronome he maintains the cadence of his strokes driving the heat and tension within us higher and higher and higher. His harsh panting matches mine our bodies completely in tune, our senseless words mingling into a heavy blanket of need until the coil within me snaps and screaming I let go. Growling my name he follows me over the edge releasing onto me as I slide to the floor, jelly.

Rolling onto my back I look up at him through the heavy lids of my eyes. He _is _perfect, a dictionary definition of man. Oh god.

Eyes black he drops fluidly to his knees crawling forwards until my body is covered with his our lips meeting in a deep kiss.

"Oh darlin'" he whispers moving his body slowly back down mine trailing fire with his lips "what you do to me."

He presses a kiss on my abdomen before lifting first one leg then the other over his shoulders. With an open mouth he kisses from the back of my knees to the top of my thighs, leaving molten moisture on one leg then the other.

Sighing he places an open mouth kiss on my clit, darting his tongue out at my hiss to lave my swollen nub firmly and repeatedly with his tongue. His hands move to my hips sliding around them and lifting them slightly while his thumbs stroke my hip bones. I moan wantonly my head rolling from side to side, biting my lip to keep from crying out. With just the right amount of force his tongue strokes me, matching the tempo of his magic thumbs, lazy but purposeful.

Inexorably the heat starts to build within me again, spiralling out from my centre until my whole body is alive and tingling my limbs twitching randomly, my whole universe reduced only to his tongue and thumbs on me.

"I can't, I can't." I pant my hands wrenching at his hair.

"Oh you can darlin' believe me." He growls increasing the pressure of his tongue against my clit and sliding two fingers inside me.

My walls clench painfully, my body, barely down from its previous high, shakes violently.

"You taste divine, I'll never get enough." He groans, the vibration of his lips escalating my predicament making me whimper again.

"You're gonna cum" he orders "I'm gonna make you" and he crooks his fingers inside me flattening my nub with his tongue sending me flying over the edge again bright colors exploding before my eyes, warm wetness pulsing into his mouth and a raw scream on my lips.

"JAS-PER!"

"Ten." He murmurs, lapping up my juices and placing a last soft kiss on me before moving back up my body to kiss my slack lips.

Sighing in contentment he winds his body around mine and resting his head on my shoulder. Heaven.

Eventually he stirs, placing a soft kiss on my shoulder as he sits up.

"We'd better get a move on if you want to go riding today."

"M, 'kay." Riding? My body feels so boneless I can hardly move.

"I'll take first dibs on the shower shall I?" He asks, amused by my condition.

I nod weakly waiting until I hear the door close behind him before I crack open my eyes and inspect the ceiling.

Houston we have a problem.

There is something going on here that I can't get a grip on.

Not that I'm not satiated to the point of oblivion but I feel cheated and I don't know why he won't make love to me or at least fuck me. I've been given to understand that's what all men want, surely vampires can't be that different, more so I'd have thought being so driven by their urges. He's always hard when we're physically together, hell, sometimes I can see him straining against his jeans from across the room and he spends literally _hours_ giving me pleasure. Today is only the second time he's allowed me to return the favour. Why won't he take that next step? He doesn't strike me as the only in wedlock type. Does he think I'm not ready? My frustrated lady parts clench, I couldn't be anymore ready. Does he need a written invitation? Do I need to draw him a picture? Do I need to say it out loud?

The last thought makes me chuckle, I'll go down on him but I can't actually say "Jasper make love to me I want you" out loud. Some modern woman I am.

Unbidden, memories of Edward spring to mind the comparison unavoidable. He used to get me hot and bothered all the time, absolutely nothing close to how Jasper makes me feel but still, hot, _ish_. Edward infuriated me with his refusal to take our physical relationship any further than chaste kisses and his collar bone obsession, always insisting that he couldn't trust himself not to hurt me. Jasper has no such qualms playing my body as expertly as Edward did his piano, not once ever using too much pressure or causing harm.

Sighing I hear the shower go off realising I am out of time. Shit, if I'm too chicken to talk to Jasper about it then I'll have to try and get Char on her own, see if she has any insight. That's not going to be embarrassing at _all_, the things I won't do for that man.

**A/N Hah! Bet you thought I was going to write about them pretty Montana trees! Please review, feeling lonely again . . .**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. **

**Chpt 12 Girl Talk**

**BPOV**

An hour later I'm outside eyeing the mountain of horseflesh known as Jaws with some trepidation.

"Why do you call him Jaws?" I ask.

"Because he fuckin' bites." Pete laughs, gesturing again for me to mount.

Blanching I step back.

"Oh sweet thing he won't bite _you_," Pete promises "he only bites when you tack him up."

Reluctantly I lift my foot up into the stirrup and after a couple of false starts manage to haul myself up and on.

"It's a long way down." I comment to no one in particular.

While I adjust to this strange new sensation Jasper swings up onto his own mount a fiery looking black stallion introduced as Cavalry.

With a last minute flurry of advice for me, all of which goes in one ear and out the other, Pete hands the lead rope to Jasper and we're on our way.

Despite his fear inducing name Jaws is actually very comfortable his smooth gait lulling me into a false sense of security within a few minutes.

Jasper takes us slowly around the property pointing out places and things of interest proudly weaving tales around them that relax my brain as much as the horse ride has my body. When he's not talking I watch him unashamedly. His profile is exquisite, with his hat tipped onto the back of his head and I love the way his chin tucks in slightly and his nose dips at the end when he grins, but when turns that grin on me, well then my stomach flips. He's so at home on a horse, perfectly balanced, tall above and below the saddle his movements supple and at one with the animal.

I've never seen him look so happy, so relaxed, and so _right_. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

After a couple of the most relaxing hours of my life we return to the house, which is when my infatuation with Jaws wears off. I'm so stiff Jasper practically has to slide me off him sideways and as I waddle back to the house I begin to wonder if my knees will ever meet again.

Before I'm halfway across the living room Pete and Char are hooting with laughter.

"Hey sweet thing!" Pete calls as I crab walk past. "You're walking like a real cowgirl already!"

"Can't talk" I groan "must, soak, in tub."

In Jasper's room I strip off cautiously and hobble into the bathroom, filling the tub with hot water and sinking into it gratefully.

Stupid horse.

After my bath I prepared and ate my dinner, with audience of course and then the four of us flopped out on the couches to watch movies. One action, Pete's choice, one romance picked by Char, a zombie movie for me and an original Japanese horror selected by Jasper.

Eventually, tired and happy Jasper bears me off to bed where we talk late into the night.

The next few days follow a similar pattern, Jasper tortures me in the name of learning to ride Jaws and then, after my soak in the tub (that horse _hurts_) the four of us chill out watching movies, talking and playing games.

The nights have ended the same way, Jasper and I cocooned together in his bed talking. He's such a gifted story teller, his tales so visual and absorbing that it's no reflection on him that I often drift off into a contented sleep to the smooth sound of his voice. I'm sleeping a lot, a combination of the crisp clean air and the emotional turmoil of the last few weeks.

On the third day the guys announce that they're heading into town to get supplies and _finally_ I will get Char to myself something I have sensed she is eager for too.

"So Bella" she asks smiling broadly "I think we have some catching up to do, yes?"

Returning her smile easily I follow her into the living room where we stretch out on a couch each facing each other across the room.

"So" she begins "spill the beans sugar, what's going on with you and J?"

"Um, we're friends?"

She rolls her eyes at me "Yeah right. Vampire hearing aside I could _chew _the lust that wafts off you two. Is he good in bed? I've never had the pleasure, but I've heard tell a time or two and I've certainly heard _you_, you sound very satisfied."

Groaning in embarrassment I hide my flaming cheeks with my hands. The old blush seldom makes an appearance these days but in the right circumstances . . .

Rolling onto her back so that I don't have to make eye contact with her, for which I'll love her forever, she continues "You can tell me anything Bella, I already think of you as a friend hell you're practically family for how happy you're making J, I've never seen him so relaxed."

"Is he happy?" I ask intrigued.

"You don't know?" She asks incredulously.

"No."

"Bella, J lo . . . J cares about you a _lot_. He's very happy right now, well, for J anyway." She frowns. "Its hard to really get a grip on what's going on with him, he's a very private person its taken him _years _to open up with Pete and he's guarded around me in comparison, not that it matters. Pete and I are mated, so he tells me everything!"

"Char, how does the mating thing work? Edward was very selective about what he told me."

"I'm not surprised, he seems more repressed, no constipated than anyone else I've met and if denial were a river in Egypt he'd a floated away a long time ago."

"You don't like him either?" I ask, curious.

"I don't dislike him sugar, I've only met him a few times, seems to me he needs to learn to accept what he is, what other people are and roll with it."

"You don't spend much time with the Cullens? I thought Jasper and Alice were with them for years."

Char sighs regretfully. "Me and Pete, we're not so welcome at the Cullens. We make 'em uncomfortable."

"Because of your scars, your past?"

"Not so much the past, they don't know much, J never told them the half of it. What they did know freaked 'em out enough. Did J tell you a few months after he and Alice joined 'em Carlisle asked him to cover up his scars? Said they were _threatening _and likely to cause unwarranted attention or some such shit."

"Wow, that seems harsh, it's hardly Jasper's fault."

"Basically they think me and Pete are savages and not just because we're human drinkers. I don't think they ever felt much more for J, it always felt to me like they tolerated him for Alice's sake. Like he was a special project or charity case, tame the beast. Don't get me wrong, we're grateful for what they did for him, feeding on humans was killin' him slowly from the inside, because of his gift. But we don't like the way they treated him or made him feel. Stuck up bunch of, well whatever, they're out of his life now."

We lay in companionable silence for a while until peering up I notice that she's got a crafty glint in her eye.

"You're not getting out of it that easy Bella, it'll be days before the boys leave us to our own devices again and I want the inside info on you and J."

"I don't know what to tell you." I hedge.

"Okay sugar we'll do it the hard way. I'll ask you answer."

Lying back down I brace for impact.

"Is the sex good?"

Reminding myself that I wanted this conversation I answer carefully. "Yes and No?"

"Leaving aside the yes, cos I've heard how good that is, I'll go with the no. What's wrong?"

"He hasn't, um, made love to me yet." I whisper so red in the face I must be glowing.

"What?" She squeals.

"He doesn't seem to want to."

"Well sugar, its easy to see he wants to, it's written all over his face and, er, practically poking out of his pants. Do you want to?"

"Oh _yes_." I answer with a depth of feeling that makes her chuckle.

"Does he know, have you told him? Don't take offence but J's always been very active in the sack, he normally don't need telling twice."

"I'm pretty sure he knows I've made it fairly obvious, but no, I haven't actually said so. I'm, um, too embarrassed."

"Well, I can't think of a reason he's holding out on you. I mean he had a problem with the whole human thing at the beginning but once he makes up his mind he doesn't waste any time second guessing. You'll have hoist up your big girl panties and tell him."

"I knew you'd say that." I groan.

"It's that or go without." She observes calmly.

We fall silent again for a while.

"So how do you feel about my beautiful brother?" She asks suddenly.

I open and close my mouth several times but nothing comes out. Shocked I realise I don't have an answer. I've honestly never given my feelings any thought, it hadn't even occurred to me to have any beyond lust, why would it?

"Bella?" Char asks curiously.

"I don't know" I answer truthfully and with evident surprise "I haven't thought about it."

"Excuse me?" She sounds shocked.

"There isn't any point." I shrug. "He's a vampire, when the time comes he'll leave and I'll go on with my life, I'm enjoying the moment."

"Is that what you want?"

"I haven't even thought about it because that's what will happen." I shrug again, struggling to find words to express the _inevitability_ and my acceptance of it. My voice is as flat as if I was describing the location of a body at a crime scene. "No one is going to hang out in LA watching me sleep forever. It's boring."

"Sugar I wish you could hear yourself, you sound like a robot or one of those emotionless Vulcan thingys off the TV."

"I don't understand."

"You and J, you fit together, you're like two halves of a whole both of you better when you're together. You ain't a porcelain doll and you can't live your life tucked up in a box. Edward might have screwed you over but you can't just shut down. You need to open your eyes sugar and look at what's happening around you."

Silence.

"I haven't offended you have I?" She asks, sounding unsure.

"No, no." I reassure her quickly. "You've just surprised me that's all. It's not normal, is it? Not to _wonder_ what a man thinks of you or try to analyse what you think of him?"

"I'm not exactly normal myself, I'm a mated vampire but no, I'm pretty sure it ain't."

"Can I tell you, about Edward?" I ask nervously.

"Of course you can, that's what friends are for."

And so, for the first time ever I finally tell someone my version of what happened with Edward. It feels cathartic. It doesn't make the hurt I've cherished go away but it does blow the cobwebs off it and give it some air. A chance to dissipate.

When I get to the part about Victoria I can sense her agitation but she doesn't interrupt.

"Have you told J?" She asks finally.

I snort. "No. Why would I tell Jasper about my _pathetic _breakdown when his brother dumped me?"

"Not just that, about Victoria. You know he'll understand better than anyone and you have to share this shit with people who care about you. Ain't healthy to lug it all around on your own."

Mutely I nod.

"Anyway." She continues brightly. "The guys will be back in about an hour, why don't you hop in the tub and relax for a bit? I've read 67 lasagne recipes now and I'm gonna have a stab at making one for your dinner."

"Okay." I sigh rolling off the couch onto my feet.

Meeting in the doorway Char and I share a hug.

"Thank you." I whisper.

"My pleasure sugar, my pleasure."

I step back nodding shyly.

"Tell him." She urges me quietly walking away into the kitchen.

In the bedroom I undress slowly, deep in thought while the tub fills, Char has given me a lot to think about but right now I feel mentally exhausted again. Settling into the tub with a sigh I drift off.

Some time later my cell startles me awake. The shooter has died.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. **

**Chpt 13 Gun Slingers**

**BPOV**

Agitated I dry myself and get dressed, I hope Jasper will be home soon, I need to talk to him, to be with him. The aroma of cooking lasagne wafts up from the kitchen making my stomach growl. I think she's cracked it, bless her, eager I rush downstairs.

Char turns to greet me, the smile dying on her lips. Holding up her hand she cocks her head and gestures for me to be quiet.

"Someone's coming." She murmurs. "Strangers, Pete's nearly home in the truck and J's circlin' round in the trees."

Immediately I hear the roar of the truck's engine as it pulls up in front of the house.

Taking my hand she leads me outside where Pete is already on the porch staring into the tree line across the yard intently but in as relaxed a pose as I've ever seen him.

Despite his demeanour the agitation I am already feeling turns into a tense knot in my stomach. Just the way I feel responding to a call at work.

The three of us descend the porch steps, stopping a few feet into the yard.

Char takes my hand giving it a squeeze. "Stay right by me sug, just in case I need to grab ya and run. We'll let Pete do all the talkin'."

I nod.

After a long pause two vampires emerge confidently from the tree line. One small and dark, the other huge, a blonde Emmett, both dressed like hikers with bright red eyes. They look like _trouble_, cop's instincts.

"Greetings." The smaller one steps forward slightly. "We're looking for the Whitlocks?"

"You've found 'em." Pete responds easily.

"Names Mark and the blonde giant here is Walt. We were told you guys might know the whereabouts of the one they call The Major."

"Where'd you hear a bed time story like that? You know he's only a myth or he's long dead, right?" Pete asks.

"Un uh man" Mark asserts enthusiastically "we talked to a vamp a few months back who knows someone who met him once."

"Someone who met him once? That's a bit vague ain't it? Was he livin' in the same reality as the rest of us? What name did this story teller go by?"

"Sane as you and me man, Rutilio, Mexican dude. Said The Major's real and you guys might know where he is." Mark seems to be the spokesman of the two.

"What do you wanna find him for?"

"To go up against him of course." Mark spreads his arms like it's the most natural explanation in the world.

I have no idea what's going on other than the thick tension in the air, I'm just grateful their favouring the human by talking at a speed I can follow.

"You do this kind of thing often?" Pete asks, rocking back slightly on his heels.

"Yeah, we got fourteen kills between us already."

"Fourteen? And not a mark on you." Pete shakes his head in wonder. Eyes wide and innocent, a look I recognise.

"We're good. You and your lady, you've a fair few scars."

"You're a nosey fucker ain't ya?" The casual smile slips from Pete's lips.

Fascinated I watch Jasper stalk silently from the tree line, downwind and out of sight of the visitors. And this is new, he looks supremely deadly, every inch the infallible warrior, his hat pulled down over eyes which have become black holes, his nostrils flared and his lips twisted into a sadistic grin. Not wanting to inadvertently draw attention to his presence I pull back tucking myself in behind Char who nods at me approvingly.

"It's nothing personal man, we just like to make our mark on this world."

"By looking for the biggest bad ass that ever existed, allegedly, and seein' if you can walk away without gettin' killed?"

The two vamps nod in unison.

"Seems pretty stupid to me." Pete comments, idly lifting his hat and scratching his head.

The big blonde one, Walt, stiffens growling angrily. "Now, now, _old_ man. A Whitlock scalp wouldn't be a bad addition to our collection and that little human there, she looks tasty I could enjoy her in a _number_ of ways."

"So you're trying to provoke _me_ now are ya?" Pete questions.

"We'll take a fight anyway we can get it. We're even numbers. We won't touch your human till after we win." Cocky blonde bastard.

Jasper's deep bass growl reverberates around the clearing, rattling the windows of the house and making the hair on the back of my neck prickle.

"Who are you?" Mark demands spinning round as he and his friend drop into a crouch, Walt turning slightly so he can watch Jasper and Pete at the same time.

"That'd be The Major." Pete comments dryly. "What do ya know, looks like he's real after all. Scary lookin' fucker ain't he?"

I gasp. The Major? What the fuck?

Growling again in a quieter but more menacing tone Jasper reaches up and rips the shirt from his own shoulder leaving the tatters hanging down, revealing his scars.

"Now might be a good time to tell me if anyone knows you're here." Pete continues conversationally.

"Three against two isn't a fair fight." Walt points out.

"Ah now see, this is what pisses me off about you people." Pete lectures. "You come out here, all fired up over some stupid legend, determined to find The Major and rip his head off to prove to other vamps and ya bank manager that you're bad asses. But you don't fuckin' listen to what ya'all are told. Nobody ever said The Major fought fair. Just that he always wins. Now I'll ask ya'all again, does anyone know you're here?"

"No!" Mark spits out.

"Excellent, we'll leave you gentleman to it then." Pete takes our arms and turns to usher us away. "Ladies, shall we?"

Before I've taken a step on my wobbly legs a volley of sound erupts behind us, snarls, growls and teeth jarring metallic screeching. Whipping round I am in time to see Walt's head bouncing towards me, a horrified expression frozen on his face. My weak human eyes cannot follow the vampire speeds, making out only a swirl of colors and blurs but abruptly it stills as silence descends and I regard the tableaux before me.

Walt's body is crawling across the ground, clear liquid seeping from his neck, in search of his head I assume. Mark's twitching limbs are scattered across the yard and Jasper is kneeling on Mark's back his razor sharp teeth poised at his neck, watching me with those black eyes.

I giggle.

Jasper raises his eyebrow at me.

Which makes me giggle harder.

Shaking his head at me Jasper rises to his feet jerking Mark's body with him and using brute force alone wrenches the head from his shoulders with a noise like grating steel girders spreading a mist of clear liquid droplets around him.

My giggling increases, I seem to be having a visit from the hysteria fairy. I turn to Char helplessly. "Do you think you could slap me without breaking my neck?" I choke out.

"Bella?" She questions.

Laughing hysterically I sink to my knees in the dirt. Dead shooters, sexual frustration, cowboys, beheaded vampire hikers, Majors. Hah so funny. My life's so funny!

"J" Pete grumbles "Your girlfriends gone weird, come sort her out while Char and I start a fire."

Which makes me howl even more.

Gingerly Jasper picks me up and carries me, gasping and howling, into the kitchen where he deposits me on the counter stepping back and watching me with a mixture of amusement and worry.

After some more hysterical laughter and several unladylike snorts the humour gradually fades.

"I'm sorry." I mutter drying my eyes on my sleeves. "Overload."

"Are you okay now?" He asks.

I nod.

"What just happened?" I ask.

"Vampires get bored and get into all sorts of trouble. If it threatens to reveal our existence then the Volturi step in. Did Edward ever tell you about them?"

"Royalty, police force, Italian?"

"That's them. They also acted to put an end to The Southern Wars that was after my time though, _thankfully_. Anyway one of the more Volturi friendly ways to get your kicks and make your name is seeking out older vampires with reputations and beating them in a fair fight. The Southern Wars are a source of many good stories and myths. The young and the stupid quite often get seduced by the _glory_ they see in it all and go looking for trouble."

"Like gunslingers from old westerns?" I ask incredulously. Wow, immortality can make some people really brainless.

He nods. "Exactly like that. They come after Pete and I off and on, because the Whitlocks are known from the wars and sometimes just because they run into us and we have scars. They usually aren't difficult to get rid of, one way or another, like those two clowns today. Sometimes the obsessive and the persistent, or the ones with long memories and grudges, come looking for The Major."

"And you would be The Major?"

"Yes."

"Who or what is The Major?"

"The Major is a legend that grew up after the wars around some of my more, um, _famous _exploits. The Major is the black eyed soulless monster, the one who laid waste to entire towns, bathed in blood and murdered everyone who crossed him."

Inappropriately I laugh as my mind joint the dots between what he's just told me and what he's already shared.

"What's funny now?" He huffs, offended.

"I think I understand now, what you told me before about being a monster? When I said Maria didn't turn _you_ into a monster? She turned _The Major_ into one. I bet there aren't many people who are naturally cut out to be soldiers, or cops for that matter, everybody has to find a different way to cope. The Major was probably doing that for you in the army, all that death and destruction you probably unconsciously developed that persona to help you deal. I bet it came over with you to your new life, got stronger like the rest of you and that's how Jasper coped, by submerging himself in someone else. That wasn't _you_ out there just now, that was your alter ego, the one who turns up when you need to be emotionally detached."

His gold eyes sharpen, looking deep into mine and whoops, Jasper coma.

"Ahem!" Pete coughs, getting our attention. "If you two could rein in the starin' into each others souls for a minute we've got some issues to deal with."

"What's the status?" Jasper asks without releasing my eyes.

"The Disney twins are ashes. No sign of anyone else out there, Char's running a larger perimeter now."

"Did you believe them that no one knows they came here?"

"Hell no J, we're gonna have to backtrack 'em, check the situation out."

"I thought Rutilio would be dead by now." Jasper remarks, turning to face Pete with narrowed eyes.

"No such luck apparently." Pete sighs. "Do you think he's a problem?"

Jasper turns back to me, his narrowed eyes darkening again that sadistic grin tugging at the corners of his lips. "Things have changed."

"I hear you J." Turning on his heel Pete heads upstairs.

Jasper nods. "Bella, it would probably be safest if you head back to LA with Char while Pete and I make sure there isn't anyone else coming. We'll meet you there in a couple of days."

"Okay." I agree. But my initial instinct was to argue which surprises me, Jasper and Pete will be better off if I'm out of the way and obviously so will I, so why was my first response going to be 'No, I'm not leaving you'? Leaning forwards I wrap my arms around his shoulders. Sighing he leans into my embrace, nuzzling my neck. "Be careful." I whisper.

"Always am darlin'. I suppose we'd better go and get packed."

In his room I collapse on the couch with a sigh. There's so much I want to say to him now and so little time. Joining me he lifts me into his lap resting his chin on the top of my head.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks softly as I trace one of the scars on his chest with my finger.

"In the worst possible way and there are some things I need to tell you too but we don't have time for a heart to heart right now do we?"

He sighs heavily. "Not really but I promise, I _will_ be in LA with you in a couple of days then we can talk about whatever you need to for as long as it takes."


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. **

**Chpt 14 Strike One**

**EPOV**

Forks, Washington. I never imagined I would be here again.

The family, with the obvious exception of Rose, were thrilled when I informed them of my intention to seek out Bella. Esme in particular seemed to believe that as soon as I see her my resolve will weaken and that, no matter whether or not she is happy in her life, I will want to win her back. We will see, I _am _strong and I hope, strong enough. Emmett wanted to accompany me but I dissuaded him, he would certainly not be able to resist talking to Bella. He's such an eager child where my beloved is concerned and as much as I like to indulge him this will not be the time.

Frustratingly Alice has not been able to assist me in locating Bella or checking on her. Once I recovered from my rage when I discovered that she had disobeyed my wishes and had been looking for Bella's future all along she was forced to admit that she has not been able to see her for a long time. Apparently Bella had not been the only one, that inveterate _killer _Jasper has also been disappearing from her visions. Why this upsets her I cannot imagine, she is so much better off without his brooding presence hovering in the background. Now I discover that she even went to see the Whitlocks, shudder at the thought, to make certain he was alright.

It always displeases me to have things kept from me. If I am to protect the family I must know everything. However I can accept that I have been absent and hard to contact for quite a while so perhaps it is unsurprising.

Inconveniently so little time has passed that I cannot be seen in Forks so I have been reduced to skulking around in the shadows like a vampire, how ironic. The large wolf pack now residing in La Push is also making my search for information difficult. _Dogs_, disgusting, no self control what so ever.

The sight of the empty lot where Bella's house used to be would have stopped my heart if it wasn't still already. I stood in the trees there for hours pondering the implications.

In the two days since that shock all I was able to ascertain from the minds and conversations in the town is that Charlie died and Bella left and apparently some time ago. My poor Bella, she must have been so lost, so alone.

Now I must decide how to proceed.

I could break into the police station and search their records. I could seek out the wolves and ask them, probably not the most sensible option. Or I can call the odious Jenks and have him look for her. Really the only useful thing Alice's husband did was deal that man, two kindred and unsavoury spirits.

With a martyred sigh I pull out my cell and call Jenks.

**A/N I appreciate your reviews and I thank all of you. We're almost at 'the talk' and subsequent, ahem, actions and after all that build up I'm feeling the pressure. Sigh, only reviews will give me the strength to make it through . . .**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. **

**Chpt 15 On the Brink**

**BPOV**

On the late flight back to LA Char and I decided that it would make more sense for us to stay in their rented house in the hills, much easier for her as she will be stuck inside during the day. So after a brief stop at my apartment and a grocery store, she came in with me she's very brave, we headed up into the hills.

I miss my bed but they have a pool so I cope.

The last few days have flown past. I have visited Joel as often as possible he is recovering well and expects to be able to go home in a few more days, on my first visit we both cried like babies the emotions overwhelming. I've been and had my head poked into by the force shrink for signs of trauma, nothing serious found. I'm sure he thinks I'm some kind of closet serial killer, he keeps muttering about how surprisingly well I am coping with what happened, if only he knew. I've had a meeting with my lawyer and we're still waiting to see if the review board are going to be satisfied with the actions Captain Harris and I took, it's potentially more serious now the guy has died.

At Char's insistence I've had my lady garden waxed and now I'm as bald as a coot, she's a _very_ bad influence, but it definitely makes me feel sexy. However, no amount of vampire dazzling and whining about things she's missing out on was going to make me get my labia pierced.

Other than that we've swum, sunbathed, talked and generally hung out waiting for Jasper and Pete to join us. She hasn't seemed worried about them so I've tried to rein in mine, not always easy when I'm alone in bed at night aching for Jasper.

I've felt sorry for her cooped up in the house all day so every time I go out I bring her back something, a book, magazine or DVD. This morning I ran out of ideas so I went into the crafting store on my way home and got her a Learn to Knit Kit and I think I have created a monster. I've been back to the store twice already to get more wool, the clerk clearly thinks I'm a new and interesting species of weirdo. Char's already finished sweaters for us and the guys, we're going to look like the Brady Bunch.

Tomorrow night the men will be back so it's time for me to stop prevaricating and sort through the twisted mass of my thoughts and feelings. Char left to go hunting as soon as it got dark so I grab a bottle of wine and a glass and settle down on one of the sun loungers by the pool.

First the piles. The Past. Jasper. The Future.

The Past. It really is a different country. Opening up with Char has altered my perception. I hadn't realised how much I _resented _having to carry all that shit locked away inside me. Who could I tell? The only one who came close was Jake and considering his feelings for me I could never have burdened him with the real extent of my desolation over Edward's abandonment. Anyone else would have packed me off to the loony bin as soon as I opened my mouth. And I resent that. I resent that he, Edward, took arbitrary decisions that left me with no one to confide in. Enticing me into the rabbit hole and then shoving me out again without so much as a clue how to explain to anyone where I'd been or why I was like I was.

To most people I have known since then I seem a cold bitch but actually nothing could be further than the truth. I've even heard some of the guys at the station teasing Joel about being partnered with the Ice Queen.

And I can see now that although I understood how my past alienated me from the lives going on around me I hadn't actually realised what that meant. I had accepted on the surface that I would always _have_ be alone without ever considering if that was what I wanted or if there was another way. I knew I was a doll in a box but never once questioned whether or not I could or should open the lid.

Which brings me onto to blame, we all have to have someone to blame right? I blame Edward fucking Cullen. I take responsibility for my actions, my decisions, my behaviour and the consequences but I fucking _blame_ him. He knew better and he did it anyway.

Jasper. The issues in this pile truly scare me. The lust I understand after all he is perfect and I've thought about it ad nauseum since I almost shot him. As a symptom of my previous lack of awareness I have completely failed to consider my relationship with him as well, a relationship. Although I realise that probably the most contentious issue of our affiliation is the vampire human element I _know_ that it is the man and woman part which is important.

I like him. He makes me scream in ecstasy. He makes me laugh. He challenges me and stretches my mind. He makes me feel safe. He understands me, despite how much I have kept from him. He respects me. I admire him, his strength, and his wisdom. My stomach flips when I look at him and quite often when he saunters across my mind. I think about him all the time. I miss him when he isn't around. I worry about him. It physically hurts in my chest when I think about not being there for some of the happy memories he has shared with me or not being there when he needed someone to look out for him. I love his family.

His past doesn't faze me. And the whole The Major thing? I think that needs a pile on its own if only to deal with my own fucked up response to it.

Of course, its obvious when you think about it isn't it? I am falling in love with Jasper Whitlock. And it scares me. And it makes me feel more alive than I have for a long time.

And so I cannot think very much about the future. For the first time in a long time I don't know what it will look like but I think I know what I want. What I don't know is what _he_ wants.

Reaching for my wine I gasp. I've drunk the lot. Time for bed, tomorrow Jasper will be back.

Waking the next morning with a thick head I crawl to the bathroom, groaning and cursing. Really, I'm not a big drinker, what was I thinking?

Twenty minutes later I make it downstairs for breakfast finding Char contentedly knitting a blanket.

"Too much to drink?" She asks casually.

"Ungh."

"That's a good look on you, I'm sure J'll love the bloodshot eyes."

"I need to go to my apartment, there's a perfect welcome home outfit there and some seriously magical eye drops."

"Good thinking. You gonna talk to J tonight?"

I nod, chewing my lower lip, nervous already.

"It'll be okay sugar. You guys have a few things to talk through but I'm sure it'll all work out, you just need to have faith in J."

Faith in Jasper. I can have faith in Jasper, after all he's never given me reason not to.

My apartment smells stale so I throw open all the windows. The mail's all junk so I chuck it straight in the bin before I muck out the fridge, just, ew. Going into my bedroom I head straight for the closet to pull out my favourite dress. It's a crimson sundress with simple spaghetti straps a fitted waist and a loose billowy skirt falling to just above the knee. It's totally me and as I'm going to bare my soul to Jasper tonight I _will _do it as me. Reaching in I also pull out a pair of rich brown ballet flats and, in case its cold, their matching pashmina.

Grabbing the eye drops and casting a wistful look at my bed I close everything up and head back for the hills.

To Char's amusement I spend the rest of the day buffing and moisturising myself to within and inch of my life. I put polish on my nails to match my dress and spend almost two hours expertly applying make up to look as if I'm not wearing any only to take it all off again when I decide to go au naturel. Likewise Char and I ponder the underwear choices eventually agreeing that none is the way to go.

And so we wait, even Char becoming tense in anticipation of Pete's return. She's really missed him explaining that it's very hard for mates to parted, almost physically painful and right now with the tightness in my own chest I can appreciate how she's been feeling.

"They're here!" She squeals excitedly blurring out the door.

Jasper catches it before it crashes into the wall, closing it quietly behind him.

Our eyes meet and dropping his kit bag he advances towards me purposefully taking my face in his hands rubbing his thumbs across my cheekbones. Sighing I reach out resting my arms in the crook of his.

"I've missed you." He says quietly.

"And I've missed you." I whisper suppressing my emotions, suddenly concerned that my newly uncovered feelings for him will come crashing down on his inconveniently gifted head.

"You're so beautiful." He murmurs, rubbing his nose lightly on mine. "So beautiful."

Mesmerised I can only stare speechlessly into his deep gold eyes, vaguely aware of my hammering heart.

With a groan he moves closer enveloping me in his arms burying his face in my hair. I can feel his lips moving rapidly but gently against my ear but he's speaking too fast for me to catch the words.

Wetness pools between my legs and I inwardly curse both my sense of timing and lack of underwear. But I want him so much, damn it.

Chuckling he pulls back searching my, now pinched, face for clues to the feelings I must be pumping out.

"Oh Bella" He smirks, rolling his hips into me once. "You know what that scent and those feelings do to me darlin'. A man can only stand so much, especially if he's been away."

"Jasper, I . . ."

"Its okay darlin', I know we need to talk. I'll take a shower and then we can snuggle on the couch. Is that okay?"

I nod. That will be more than okay.

Nervously I pace but within minutes he's back wearing, oh god, he's wearing cotton pyjama bottoms, bare chested and barefoot.

"You're a bastard Jasper." I groan.

"Yep." He smirks launching himself onto the couch. "But I'm a sexy bastard. Come sit"

Laughing I settle myself into the gap between his thighs relaxing as his arms close around me pulling me back into his chest.

"How did your, um, trip go?" I ask.

"It was fine, nothing to worry about. There are some things you should know but there's no rush."

I nod, trepidation building within me.

"It's okay Bella," he whispers into my hair "you can tell me anything, remember?"

"The cop killer died."

He tightens his arms around me. "I'm sorry."

"Me too. I killed him."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Yes, but maybe not right now. There's some other stuff I need to tell you."

"Okay."

Silence.

"Bella?" He questions softly.

"He isn't the first person I've killed . . . . . ." And I tell him. Every embarrassing, painful and guilty little detail from the moment Edward took me into the woods up until I packed my meagre possessions and fled the Black's house without saying goodbye or telling them where I was going.

Silence.

"Oh fuck, Bella." He moans dropping his head onto my shoulder. "Baby, I'm so, so sorry."

I nestle my head against his, bathed in the waves of sorrow, understanding and support he is sending me.

We sit like this for an age until I feel anger begin to seep into the emotions he's projecting.

"Jasper?"

"I'm sorry darlin'." He says quietly, cutting off the flow, leaving me bereft. "This is very hard for me. I need to head outside for a while and vent my, um, frustrations safely."

Deliberately he rises to his feet carrying me with him and holding me tightly as he stares intently into my eyes.

"Bella, I am sorry. But I need you to understand, I can't be this close to you right now it isn't safe." His words are urgent spoken through gritted teeth. "I will be back as soon as I can. We can talk some more. Please darlin', I need you to understand. I'm not running out on you I _will_ be back in a minute."

Pressing his lips to mine fiercely he releases me and flits out the door.

Leaving me alone and confused.


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. Lemon! **

**Chpt 16 Leap of Faith**

**BPOV**

Within seconds of Jasper's departure a rumpled looking Pete and Char stroll into the house holding hands and smiling contentedly.

Outside it sounds like distant thunder.

"What's he doing?" I question, concerned.

"Knowing J, fellin' trees and smashin' up rocks. Workin' off his feelings. Then he'll go sit in a tree and sulk." Pete shrugs.

"Why?"

"He's angry. Someone he loves has been badly hurt and he can't do anythin' about it so he's having a shit fit at the scenery."

I blink.

"You understand what I'm tellin' ya don't ya sweet thing?" Pete asks, cocking his head to one side.

Another blink.

"Apparently not." He sighs. "Bella, Jasper loves you."

I nod carefully. "Oh."

"Jeez Char, what ya been doin' to her? She wasn't this stupid in Montana."

"Pete, for a man who knows shit, you sure don't know shit." Char cuffs him round the ear. "Bella sugar, are you okay?"

Another careful nod. "He loves me? Why hasn't he told me?"

"He's scared, same as you." Char answers.

I snort. Me scared, oh yeah, but Jasper scared?

"Sugar, it's as hard for him as it is for you. He's never felt this way before. You're a human, he doesn't know how you feel about him and then there's Edward."

Taking a deep breath I look into Char's expectant eyes. "Have faith in Jasper?" I ask her quietly.

"Yes." She nods smiling at me with approval.

"Can one of you take me to him?"

"Of course." Char winks, turning her back to me. "Hop on sugar."

After a brief but nauseating run she glides to a stop and I slide to the ground on shaky legs.

"He's about 100 yards up there." She points to a gap in the trees. "Good luck."

"Thanks." I murmur as she turns and flits away.

Deep breath. You can do this Bella.

Emerging from the trees into the moonlight I can clearly see him sitting on a flat rock, clenched and tense.

Padding forwards I stop a few feet behind him.

"Pete said you'd be sitting in a tree."

"Couldn't find one strong enough." He responds, rising and stalking towards me. His eyes travelling provocatively up and down my body as he approaches.

Stopping in front of me and fisting his hands in my hair he lowers his lips to mine slowly and deliberately.

Electricity sparks between us as our lips meet languidly but with subtle force. Inhaling sharply and moaning together our mouths open hungrily our tongues dancing. Unable to be still my own hands reach up to tangle in his hair, pulling roughly in time with our probing tongues.

Time has ceased to exist. I have never _ever_ in my entire life felt or _imagined_ a kiss, a feeling like this. A moment I could live in forever and infinitely more intimate than any physical interaction we have shared or indeed I have experienced to date. A kiss fuelled by unspoken love, longing and desperation.

Panting heavily our lips break apart, Jasper resting his on my forehead.

My legs are weak, only my grasp on his hair keeping me upright as I partially slump against his hard body.

"Did I tell you I missed you?" He asks softly his lips brushing my skin as they form the words.

Mutely I nod.

His lips move rapidly against me but I cannot follow the words.

"Jasper, slow down, I can't hear what you're saying."

He pulls away from me slightly, running one of his hands through his own hair roughly.

Taking a deep breath he whispers in a voice heavy with emotion. "I want you Bella. I want you more than I have ever wanted anythin' in my life. When I close my eyes I see your face and hear your voice. When I breathe I only smell your scent. When I'm away from you, it's unbearable."

"I want you too, I feel the same." My words pour out in a rush.

"Do you understand what I am saying Bella?" He demands roughly, tightening his hand in my hair and tilting my head back so his black eyes can bore into mine.

Have faith. He is worth it.

"I love you Jasper." I tell him simply, concentrating hard on the emotions I'm feeling.

He crushes his lips fiercely to mine.

"Oh god Bella, if you knew, if only you knew. How much I have wanted to hear you say those words, to feel those emotions coming from you. I love you."

Suddenly laughing he lifts me up and swings me around so fast my legs fly out level with my body.

"I fuckin' love you Bella Swan." He shouts, throwing his head back and laughing harder as we spin.

"Jasper." I croak. "Human."

Still laughing he slows gradually lowering me to my feet, holding me up while I sway.

"I love you." He says again, suddenly serious and intent.

I chew my lip dropping my head and flushing the same color as my dress. "Make love to me Jasper, make me yours."

His places the tip of his cool finger on my chin pushing it inescapably upwards until our eyes meet and lock.

Ah, Jasper coma.

Lifting me into his arms bridal style he carries me at human pace back to the house, not once breaking our eye contact.

"Aw look mi amor" Pete gloats "they're starin' again. Ain't that cute."

Laughing Char cuffs him. "Come on mi marido, take me out and show me the sights."

"But Char baby" Pete whines "all the action's gonna be here."

"Out!" Jasper commands without looking up.

I giggle as Char's laughter and Pete's grumbling recede through the door and it bangs shut behind them.

Jasper's eyes darken, a wicked grin spreading across his face. "Alone at last."

I swallow convulsively, suddenly nervous.

Jasper carries me into the bedroom laying me gently on the bed and then climbing on top of me, resting his hips between my thighs, his weight on his elbows, his thumbs lazily brushing the skin under my ears.

I close my eyes unable to maintain the intense eye contact any longer.

"I want you." He whispers, his breath sweet and cool on my face. "I want you so badly."

I can feel myself getting wet and I swallow again.

"Look at me Bella." He orders quietly.

Reluctantly I open my eyes, his are completely black, his beautiful face almost twisted with desire.

Lazily he rolls his hips, grinding into me and making me tremble with longing.

"I love you. Can you feel how much I want you?"

"Yes." I gasp.

Lowering his face unhurriedly to mine he reprises the kiss from the hillside. Electricity arcs between us again as gasping we open our mouths, pressing them together steadily and hungrily. He slides his tongue into my mouth and inhaling sharply I throw my legs up around him and run my fingers over every part of his body I can reach. Exploring him desperately as though he could be snatched away at any moment.

Groaning he rolls his hips into me again, his hardness pressing between my thighs through the cotton of his pyjamas. Instinctively I lift my own hips increasing the contact between us.

Breaking our kiss he drops his mouth to the base of my neck covering his teeth with his lips and biting down where it joins my shoulder, causing my hips to buck.

Rising away from me on his arms he growls. "Take your dress off, Bella. I want to feel your skin against mine."

Struggling against his weight I pull my dress up and over my head throwing it away. Lifting my legs slightly I hook my toes into his pyjama bottoms and push them part way down his legs, making him gasp in shock. Growling he reaches down yanking them off dropping his body back to mine and attacking my lips with passion, his tongue forcing its way into my mouth. His hands roam my body at an almost leisurely pace by comparison, touching, stroking, pinching lightly and finally settling to running up and down my sides, his thumbs stroking the swell of my breasts with each pass.

Filled with need I fling my legs around him, my hands once again flying to his hair.

He grinds his hips into me, settling into a slow rhythm which has our bodies rocking against each other, his cool erection rubbing against my hot wet flesh.

My walls twitch, my clit throbbing as heat starts to slowly leak out from my center, creeping out across my skin suffusing my whole body with warmth.

Stilling the movement of his hips, causing me to groan at the loss of friction, he moves his kisses slowly and deliberately down my throat and on down my breast bone. Moving his head to the side he takes my nipple into his mouth sucking on it firmly while his finger and thumb tweak and roll the other. Moaning I writhe under his touch, my head snaking from side to side, my teeth occasionally capturing the pillow as I seek an outlet for the sensations building within me.

He trails his hand down my body, pausing to massage my hip bone with his fingers, pinching the skin lightly before continuing down to my mound. Encountering my bare skin he growls, biting down on my nipple, and I call out incoherently as he slides his finger into my slick folds.

"Bare . . . . oh darlin', if you knew how much that turns me on."

Lightly he trails his finger up and down, between my moist lips, teasing me.

"So wet for me, so wet." He moans against my breast. "Are you ready for me darlin'?" He asks sliding first one finger then another inside me, opening them to stretch me deliciously.

"Yes." I pant. "Oh god yes, Jasper I want you inside me, please."

Crawling back up my body to kiss me again he takes his cock in his hand and rubs the tip backwards and forwards through my folds pausing briefly to press it firmly against my clit and aching entrance on the way.

It is exquisite torture and I pull away from his lips, moaning and mumbling incoherently, no longer able to stay quiet. "Jasper . . . . want . . . . inside me . . . . need . . . .Jas-per . . . . to feel." I shift my hips writhing against him restlessly, desperate for more until finally I get the timing right and he slips a little way inside me.

"Yes." I moan triumphantly, all sense of embarrassment long since washed away on a tidal wave of lust.

"Bella." He groans, removing his hand and tangling it in my hair.

He pushes himself into me slowly. Stretching and filling me until he is sheathed all the way inside.

"So hot, so tight." He sighs as he stills, resting his lips on mine our bodies pressed together. And then he begins to grind his hips slowly into me, our breath coming in heavy pants, his cock thrumming inside me as his body stimulates the swollen bundle of nerves in my clit. Moaning my head once again begins to thrash to a tempo of its own. The warmth on my skin becomes a low flame.

With another groan he lowers his head to nibble on my neck as he starts moving inside me, pulling out slowly and then thrusting purposefully back in until he has filled me again. Inexorably increasing the pace. My limbs begin to tingle and shake.

Slowly out, my walls twitching and clenching. Plunging in, stretching and filling me as my hips push back against him. Tangible pleasure building between us, fuelled by the _inevitability_ of his controlled thrusts.

His hoarse voice joins mine in the senseless stream of words which add to the fire and tension growing inside. " Want . . . Bella . . . . need . . . . cum . . . feel . . . . Jasper . . . . oh god . . . . fuck . . . . cum for me."

Slowly withdrawing and plunging in, pausing. Withdrawing, pausing, pushing in.

Releasing my hair he moves his hand down between our bodies, his thumb stroking firmly on my now swollen and hyper sensitive clit. Immediately my walls close around him, hard, the pressure and fire within me reaching an unavoidable peak, my whole body taut as his cock thrusts within me.

"I'm gonna cum Bella, _please_." He moans against my neck, biting down on me.

And the pleasure builds and peaks, exploding suddenly and breaking me into a million pieces, tautness snapping, body shaking violently, screaming his name as I cum in waves, white heat washing from where he fills me to invade every inch of my body, my skin aflame, my centre burning.

"JASPER!"

"BELLA!" He roars his body going rigid his cock throbbing, my prolonged, clenching orgasm milking him as he cums inside me.

Gradually our movements slow, breathing heavily together as he peppers my face and neck with soft kisses.

"Twelve." He sighs as he pulls out of me, rolling onto his back taking me with him to sprawl across his chest, my leg thrown over him.

"I love you." I murmur pressing my lips to the scar over his heart.

"Mi corazón, mi cuerpo es tuyo." He responds.

Content we stay like this for an hour before I feel him twitch and begin to get hard against my leg.

Raising myself up I kiss his lips asking playfully "Make love to me again?"

"Oh no darlin' not this time . . . ." he mocks, flipping me onto my back and hovering over me his eyes pitch black ". . . . this time I'm gonna fuck you."

Spreading my legs brusquely he positions himself at my entrance.

Oh god, I groan inwardly, I am one lucky woman.


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. **

**Chpt 17 Strike Two**

**EPOV**

After several interminable days Jenks has finally left a package for me with all the information on Bella's life.

We have locations across the US and Canada for such deliveries and so almost vibrating with anticipation I make my way to Seattle to collect it.

Using only a small portion of my capacious mind to monitor the road I am able to use the rest to wonder and fret about what I will discover. Of course I could have asked him for a run down on the telephone but that seemed wrong somehow, to discuss my beloved with the likes of him. Bad enough that he or one of his minions had been trawling through the details, no need to further stain my mind with their involvement.

Where is she? What will she be? Where did she go to college? Exciting thoughts and I cannot wait to reveal the answers and perhaps discuss them with her.

I want her to be happy and fulfilled, of course I do. But I cannot help but wonder, how will I feel if I find her engaged? Or married? Or with a family of her own?

As painful as it is to consider I must begin to face the possibility that she will have moved on with her life as I intended her to. And possibly, as a consequence of my selfless actions I may have lost her forever.

Two hours later, in a hotel in Seattle, I am surveying the papers scattered in front of me trying to make sense of what they are telling me.

I had thought she would be a school teacher, a librarian, a publisher perhaps or at a stretch a journalist. But a policewoman? What on earth is she thinking? It is just so dangerous. Oh Bella, you broke your promise, you promised me you would be safe.

And Los Angeles? It is like the modern day equivalent of Sodom and Gomorrah. She does not even have any family there. Why did she not go to Jacksonville to her mother when Charlie died?

Pinching the bridge of my nose with one hand I snatch up my cell with the other wanting to book flights and accommodation right away. I need to find out what has been going on.

Having managed to get a flight that arrived during the hours of darkness I eventually land in Los Angeles. Frustrated and angry.

Only the trouble magnet that is Bella could base herself in a place with so many inconvenient hours of sunshine.

Delivered by limousine to the hotel I have to wait interminable hours for darkness to fall again before I can make my way to the address Jenks has given me.

But now at last I am free to go in search of my love.

The apartment is in a small complex, clean and functional but with a little less security than I would have liked to see.

Her apartment is dark and quiet. Climbing onto the balcony I catch my first waft of her beautiful freesia scent in more than four years but even as the emotion of it almost brings me to my knees I realise that she has not been here for a few days and before that, hardly at all.

Where _is_ she? My hand tightens automatically on the door handle and the lock breaks. Taking it as a sign I slip inside to search for clues.


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. **

**Chpt 18 And Three Come Along at Once**

**PPOV**

With a sigh I stretch out on the sun lounger enjoyin' a bit of peace and fuckin' quiet.

I love knowin' shit, its sharin' it I don't fuckin' like. It's the hardest lesson I've learnt over the years, when to share and when to keep my fuckin' trap shut. And I don't always get it right.

I'm pleased as fuck that J's finally gettin' his happiness. Sweet thing is and is gonna be everything he needs. And she ain't too shabby as a lil' sister either, Char's fuckin' ecstatic she's gonna have another woman around to share shit with. And if my baby's happy then I'm happy.

Sweet thing's helped the poor fucker a load already. That stuff she said about The Major makes complete sense and although it ain't a fix I'm guessin' it's given him a new perspective to think on 'bout his time with that evil whore. Maria, the memory of that fuckin' bitch is the only thing that makes me miss being able to hawk and spit.

I've been luckier than J, spent less time in the cluster fuck that was The Southern Wars, found my mate early in my new life and thankfully I ain't ever been able to feel the emotions of my dinner. I can fuckin' guess and that's bad enough shit trust me. Hell I even developed a bit of a conscience at one point after J met the magic midget. Tried an animal or two, guess I'm gonna burn in hell though, they taste disgustin'.

All and all I'm happy with what I am and my life, no sense regrettin' what might have been.

Sweet thing's asleep. Bless her. J's been keepin' her pretty busy since they've declared themselves, if they aren't talkin' through the shit that's happened they're at it like stoats. I'll hand it to J, he's one motivated fucker in the sack, pun intended but if the lust he's projectin' is making Little Pete and Char tired I dread to think how my lil' sis is holdin' up. She seems happy enough though. Bless her.

When she wakes up we gotta have a little chat unfortunately.

Shit's been quiet for a while but its like buses, nothing for ages and then three come along at once, it's coming now.

I know that sanctimonious lil' shite Edward's gonna turn up, don't need a fuckin' gift to work that out.

I know sweet thing's gonna be changed soon, but I don't know how. I just feel that it's important to get the Wyoming place fixed up and ready to use for a while. I sense she's gonna be a bit different but I still ain't lettin' her near my fuckin' horses, not until she's centuries old and only then if she's been real good.

And I feel somethin' bad's comin'. Comin' for us all. Sometimes I fuckin' hate being right.

**BPOV**

Waking slowly I stretch my limbs languidly finding both pleasure and pain in my aching muscles and sighing contentedly, something I have been doing a lot in the last few days.

Never in my wildest dreams would I ever have imagined being this happy this complete, this satisfied. I can barely summon enough adjectives to describe how I am feeling, perhaps I should have gone to college after all, it may have expanded my vocabulary enough to do recent developments justice.

Outside it is already dark. My routine has changed a little, easy to do while I'm not working, so that I can be awake with them at a time when they can leave the house. It is very private here though and we've managed to make the best of both worlds. Sharing a house with three sparkling vampires has been quite an eye opener, thankfully as an Angelino I always have my shades with me.

Reaching over to the nightstand I find the note I know will be there.

'Darling

Gone hunting, be back in a few hours. Char's made you another lasagne, sorry.

Love

J'

He's not big on love notes but I pack each one into my suitcase anyway.

With another sigh I swing myself out of bed. If Jasper wasn't keeping me so busy in the bedroom Char's lasagnes would be expanding my waistline already.

Singing to myself I get up and wander into the shower. A few minutes later I' lathering shampoo into my hair when a pair of cool hands slide around me cupping my breasts and fingering my nipples.

"Mmm." He murmurs appreciatively as they stiffen to his touch. "So responsive darlin' I like it."

I moan, pushing back against him, my hair completely forgotten.

Growling he drops his lips to my neck kissing down it and out across my shoulder, his tongue darting out to lick my skin his fingers continuing to stroke and pinch my nipples. Using his body he pushes me forwards until I'm up against the wall, the cold tiles causing my nipples to harden painfully as his hands slide round behind me to massage my ass cheeks.

I gasp as one hand slides between my thighs, automatically widening my stance.

Pete's voice interrupts us.

"I told you J." He shouts. "We ain't got time for that right now, we got stuff we need to talk about!"

Grumbling Jasper steps away from me. "I'll leave you to finish your shower darlin', we can pick this up again later." And slapping my ass lightly he steps out.

Twenty minutes later I join the others in the living room.

"Here she is." Pete chuckles, pulling me down on the couch beside him. "You come sit by me sweet thing, I'll keep you away from that nasty sex pest."

Jasper flips him the finger and drops into one of the chairs, Char perching on the arm an indulgent smile on her face.

"Well mis amigos there ain't no way to do this gently" Pete begins with a wicked grin on his face "so bein' me we'll just get straight to it. Edward's comin'."

"What?" "Why?" "When?" I'm the only one that doesn't spit out a question, my eyes go straight to Jasper's face. We've talked about Edward but I know he's still uncomfortable about him. And I'm right, his beautiful face has lost all the animation and happiness that's been gracing it for the last couple of days, instead he is guarded and wary.

In unspoken agreement Char and I exchange places and I settle into Jasper's lap running my finger over the scar on his heart. Sighing gratefully he slips his arms around my waist holding me close. I know he's angry about how much Edward has hurt me but he understands that I don't have any feelings for him anymore so his reaction to the news is a little surprising.

"When, where is he coming?" Jasper asks in a cold voice.

"I don't know J, just that he is and it won't be long. Jenk's is gonna call you in about 20 minutes and tell ya Edward's asked him to look for her."

Feeling my curiosity Jasper explains. "Jenks handles all the legal work, papers and such for us and the Cullens. When I left the family we made a deal that he'd keep me apprised of what they're up to. Just a precaution, it pays to know what's goin' on."

I nod in understanding, makes sense.

"But why?" I ask genuinely confused. "He's stayed away from me all these years. Why come back now?"

"I don't know sweet thing maybe he's changed his lil' old mind about ya and wants to change ya and settle down."

I snort. "Not funny Pete."

"Not funny." Jasper echoes a hard edge to his voice.

"Will ya'all relax?" Pete whines. "Ain't nothin' bad gonna happen. Ya'all are in love. Lil' Eddie can't do much about that. He'll pinch his nose, pull his hair and whinge a lot and then he'll be gone. He ain't our problem."

"He's a problem to me." I snap. "I don't want to see him and I absolutely don't want to have to explain anything about my life to him."

Jasper places a gentle kiss on my cheek. "Then you won't have to darlin'."

"What are we going to do? Run away and hide?" I huff.

"We can if you want to sweet thing. Don't see how it helps, lil' shite's gonna find us eventually." Pete taps his finger to his forehead. "I know."

"No." I sigh. "My hearing is next week. I'm not being driven away from my life by _him_. Jasper what do you think?"

"Well darlin', where he's concerned I'm all in favour of avoidin' him like the fuckin' plague but you're right. You have a life." He sighs heavily kissing my cheek again.

"So we'll tough it out then?" Char asks.

"Yes."

"Pete." Jasper snaps back to business. "What do you mean he's not our problem?"

"Like I said, lil' Eddie's just a shadow on the shower curtain of life. Annoyin', likely to cause some trouble and provoke a strong desire to dismember and start fires, but he ain't our problem."

"Pete." Jasper warns.

"Okay J, I'm gettin' there. Something's comin', somethin' bad. I don't know what and I don't know when. Just that it is."

A shiver runs down my spine. Right now I can't imagine anything worse than having to face Edward.

"Be prepared?" Jasper questions, giving me the impression that this is a familiar situation one where everyone knows the drill. Except me.

"That's all I'm sayin' J." Pete nods. "It feels a way off, but it's out there and it's comin'."

"Fuck."

They all look at me in surprise.

"What?" I ask innocently. "You people are a bad influence on me."

Which makes them roar with laughter, breaking the tension.

"So what are we goin' to do tonight?" Pete asks, settling back on the couch and pulling Char close to his side.

"Let's go to Brad's." Char suggests. "Soak up some vibes and watch Bella get drunk."

"Um, Char, I'd rather not. It still feels a bit weird, people are either staying away from me in case they get contaminated by association or else they want me to tell the story all over again and mint me a medal. I can't handle it yet."

"We're in LA" Pete shouts suddenly excited "let's have a pool party."

"Perfect!" We agree in unison.

While the guys drag the sound system outside to the deck by the pool Char and I run off giggling to change into our bikinis.

Coming back outside I pause for a moment to admire the sight of Jasper in his low slung board shorts. Yummy. Pete by contrast is wearing the smallest pair of canary yellow Speedos I have ever seen, leaving very little to the imagination.

"Oh Pete." Char laughs. "It's a good job I already love you because those ain't flatterin'."

He wiggles his hips suggestively. "Come on baby, you know you want some."

With a Tarzan howl she rushes him taking them both crashing into the pool.

His eyes heavy lidded Jasper prowls towards me, muscles rippling and distractedly I wonder if he can do that on purpose, like twitching your ears.

"That's a nice bikini you're almost wearin' darlin'."

"I thought you'd like it." Tossing my hair I pull my shoulders back and lick my lips provocatively.

Growling he pounces on me spinning me round and flinging me into the pool.

Soon we are all screaming and thrashing around in the water and I have to hand it to them they are equal opportunities vampires just as happy to help me gang up on one of them as they are to torment me.

Eventually I paddle to the side climbing up to sit and watch while I catch my breath. Two on one vampire water polo is an interesting spectacle it's a good job I know they're indestructible. But mainly I'm just watching Jasper, the way he moves, lithe and totally controlled. His eyes, the way they follow the action missing nothing. The way he anticipates and blocks their attacks, he makes it look so effortless, then he launches his own devastating counter attack. It reminds of The Major and it's so hot that within minutes I'm moaning and rubbing my thighs together helplessly.

Who is this woman and what has she done with Bella Swan?


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. **

**Chpt 19 Lost Love Found**

**EPOV**

With only a few hours of night left I make haste to the address on the papers I found in Bella's apartment my desperation to reach her overwhelming, my body thrumming with urgency.

My poor Bella is _not _happy, how can she be after what she has been forced to do as part of the _career_ she has chosen.

I will help her, any way I can and in any way she will allow me.

As I approach the property I immediately register the scents of thee vampires. Two familiar and one I _know_.

Already my confusion is fading to be replaced by white hot fury.

Slowing to a human walk I move to the rear of the property where I can hear splashing and laughter.

Downwind I creep closer to the edge of the shrubbery until I have a perfect view of the pool.

Peter and Charlotte Whitlock. They are exiting the pool, laughing and bidding good night, their thoughts entirely focussed on the depraved things they are about to do to each other.

Bella is sitting on the edge of the pool, her long shapely legs dangling into the water, her beautiful eyes closed. I gasp. She has become a goddess. Her perfect yet fragile body enhanced by the tiny dark blue bikini she is wearing. Her skin creamy and smooth. Her musculature ideal for a woman, strong and defined yet fluid and graceful, ballerina like. And her lips, her full and flawless lips.

My fury is temporarily forgotten and I feel . . . . Surprised I recognise the feeling as desire. I _desire_ my Bella, my love. Open your eyes beloved I almost whisper, open your eyes and let me see into your beautiful chocolate orbs.

I am about to step out of the bushes unable to be away from her for any longer when _his _head breaks the surface of the water, swimming purposefully towards her.

Rooted to the spot an other worldly calm overtakes me and I cannot look away. I watch as he swims up to her. Standing he reaches out and hooks his fingers into the sides of her bikini bottoms, sliding them slowly down her legs and discarding them in the water. Gently he parts her luscious thighs revealing her to him and then he lowers his head between those thighs with a lustful groan. And his thoughts. Oh dear god, his _thoughts_.

Still suffused with that weird and emotionless calm I step carefully backwards through the underbrush.

How ironic. A word I am overusing at present. Entirely appropriate however.

I spent the best part of sixty years working to break Alice and Jasper apart, of course his just being _him_ was enormously helpful.

Despite my misery over leaving Bella I had been elated when Alice had finally come to her senses and expelled him from her life. From our lives. I read in her thoughts how sad she was but I was confident she would recover with time, how could she not? She deserves so much better than him.

Never in my wildest dreams and contrary to what others think I have some _very_ undisciplined dreams, did I envisage that a rejected Jasper would seek out my Bella. My mate.

The depths and implications of this _transgression _shock me to the core of my being. There are no words.

I continue to back away until I am far enough to turn and run.


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. **

**Chpt 20 One Bullet Dodged **

**JPOV**

Staying in LA is gettin' to be a problem, I had to run for miles to find a decent meal and this tree. It's a nice tree though, comfortable an' with a good view.

There's a lot I need to think about. _Him_, Bella and whatever bad shit Pete says is comin'.

Bella and I had a long talk this mornin' about Edward. She misses nothin', she saw my reaction to the news last night an' she wasn't gonna leave it alone until I told her what was botherin' me. She doesn't think Alice's vision is a problem, she thinks that so many decisions have been made an' so much has changed that anything Alice saw years ago is a fuckin' mute point. I wish I could be so sanguine but at least she understands my fear that I'll change her and the matin' pull will kick in an' she'll be off lookin' for _him_ before I can even blink. So no, Edward turnin' up before then ain't anythin' I can't handle, it's afterwards that scares the shit outta me.

Which was the other thing we talked about this mornin', like I said, she misses nothin'. When we spoke in the forest an' I asked her if she understood what I was sayin' in part I meant about my wantin' her forever. I didn't think she'd a picked up on it but she did, she knew exactly what I meant.

She wants me forever too. I can't say I've ever been happier, or luckier. I'm in love with the perfect woman an' she's in love with me too. The lord knows I don't fuckin' deserve any of this but I'm gonna take it an' enjoy it for as long as possible. Of course I told her every last revoltin' detail about me, what I've done an' what forever with me might be like and if she still wants me after that then I ain't gonna fuckin' argue. That woman's got more backbone than an elephant, not the sexiest comparison in the world but she's amazin' to me.

Given a choice I'd change her right this second but she wants to get this shootin' business cleared up first, one way or another and I can understand that. I must admit that I was surprised after all she has a _life_. But she don't see it that way, says she's just existin' and her life is with me an' Pete an' Char and that she was always meant to be a vampire, I reckon she's right.

The sound of Pete's approach jerks me out of my thoughts and soon he's scalin' my tree.

"So you're gonna change her then?" He asks, settlin' himself onto a limb.

I just laugh, you can't keep anythin' from Pete for long.

"I've got the builders in on the Wyoming place. Its perfect, nice an' isolated, easy to defend an' plenty of game for the pair of ya."

"Thanks Pete."

"That's what a bro's for J."

I laugh again. It always amuses me that Pete and I think of ourselves as brothers, technically as his sire I'm his father. Somethin' I ain't above remindin' him of when he's bein' a pain in the ass.

"So we're leavin' next week after her hearin' are we?"

"Yeah, she doesn't wanna hang around, says too much can go wrong."

"Amen." Pete nods. "Not takin' any risks with my lil' sis. She's gonna be an awesome vamp J, fuckin' awesome."

We lapse into a comfortable silence.

Eventually I have to ask. "So what's this shit you think is comin'?"

"I dunno J, I wish I did. We're all gonna be in a shit load of danger an' we'll need to be on the top of our game."

Silently I trawl through a list of suspects which isn't as easy as it sounds.

Edward's hardly a shit load of danger at least not to us, more of a danger to himself maybe. The Volturi? They've had The Major on their radar in the past but that was a long time ago and lil' old Jasper Whitlock ain't likely to be botherin' 'em much. Bella's gonna be changed soon so there shouldn't be a problem there. The majority of our enemies from The Southern Wars are dead, I killed most of 'em. With the exception of Maria, Rutilio killed _her_.

Rutilio. He headed up the other most powerful coven in the south after Maria. When we went up against 'em she killed his mate but he escaped. Leavin' a mate behind is the biggest mistake you can make, revenge is a strong motivator for our kind and nothin' gets us goin' like the loss of a mate. Hence my concern about Edward. But Rutilio ain't got a scent, he escaped the massacre an' we couldn't track him. He disappeared. Pete and I heard on the grapevine a few years back that he'd re-surfaced an' given the evil bitch what was comin' to her. Since then the only time we hear about him is when some dipshit turns up lookin' for The Major sayin' Rutilio told 'em we know where he is. And that's always worried us some, we don't know if he knows who I am or not, all we know is as soldiers for Maria's army we Whitlocks are on his shit list somewhere just probably not as high up as The Major would be.

So if we discount Edward that leaves The Volturi, Rutilio or forces unknown. And forces unknown is the one that worries me most. For the most part the vamps that turn up lookin' for a fight with the Whitlocks or The Major are too stupid to survive but there are some out there who play this game very seriously, large sums of money changin' hands in bets. Those are the dangerous enemies, the ones you don't fuckin' know about. It's always bothered me, the danger it puts my family in but it's worse now because it puts Bella in danger too.

And I have to wonder if I will be able to protect them, one of the reasons The Major always won in the past was because he didn't care an' he had nothin' to live for.

If there were no Major then maybe there'd be no danger.

Pete's been waitin' calmly for me to finish my train of thought but I must have been projectin' because now he's frownin' at me.

"Don't do that J, okay?" He says sternly. "We're a fuckin' family and we'll fight and die as one if that's what it takes, sweet thing's gonna feel exactly the same way. I _know_."

"Thanks Pete." I push my love for brother out as hard as I can.

"Aw J," his eyes go wide an' innocent "I know ya fuckin' love me, there's no need to show it, ain't manly bro."

And before my fist can connect with his jaw he launches himself backwards out of the tree.

"Missed me ya fucker!" He shouts.

Leaping after him I set off chasin' him through the forest. He's fast but eventually I catch him, pinning him to the ground an' givin' him the pastin' he so richly deserves. Cheeky bastard.

Having worked off our surplus energy and frustration we dust ourselves off and start headin' back to the house.

"So what do ya thinks comin' J?" He asks as we walk.

Before I can answer my cell rings, seeing the caller ID I hold it up to show Pete. He raises his eyebrow in question.

Shruggin' I answer the call. "Hello Carlisle."

"Jasper, how are you? I hope you are well?"

"I'm fine thank you. The family?"

"We're all very well thank you. Well, everyone except Edward and Alice."

"Ah." Not sure how to answer that one.

"Yes, well." He continues soundin' uncomfortable. "They are part of the reason I am calling you."

"Yes?" I ain't helpin' him out, if he's gonna say what I think he is then he's on his fuckin' own.

"They are both rather upset at the moment."

Silence.

"Edward has been in Los Angeles." He continues eventually.

"Has he? It's a nice city, I hope he enjoyed his visit." Pete's got both hands stuffed in his mouth while I'm talkin' to try and stop from laughin'.

"You know very well he did not Jasper."

"I'm sorry Carlisle I haven't seen him in over four years, I'm afraid I have no idea why he wouldn't a enjoyed a trip to LA."

"Jasper, he was looking for Bella and he found her with you."

"Ah."

"Yes, quite. Obviously he was very concerned about her safety with you and the Whitlocks but, um he was also very concerned about your, er, relationship with her."

"Well please thank him for his concern Carlisle but my relationship with Bella is just peachy."

"Jasper." He sighs heavily. "I am sure you can understand how he feels, he believes you have stolen his mate. He is very angry."

"Where is he Carlisle?" I erase the teasin' tone from my voice allowin' a hard edge to creep into it.

"I have persuaded him to come home, we are in New Hampshire at the moment. He will be back here tomorrow."

"Well Carlisle I sure appreciate you callin' to let me know. Might I suggest you keep him there? Under the circumstances neither Bella nor I will be pleased to see him if he turns up here again. Do you understand what I'm sayin'?"

"Yes Jasper I do. I will do my best but I ask you to remember that he is my son."

"I'll try Carlisle." I sigh. "I really will."

In silence Pete and I pick up our pace quartering across the land around the house and it isn't long before we cross Edward's scent. Following the trail we find ourselves in the shrubbery overlookin' the pool.

Pete inhales. "He was here last night, while we were in the pool."

"How the fuck did we miss him?"

Pete shrugs "J what were you an' my lil' sis doin' out here last night?"

I smirk.

"You gotta learn to multitask J." He shakes his head and then starts to howl with laughter bendin' over an' slappin' his thighs. "I'll bet poor fuckin' virgin Eddie's scarred for life."

Realisation dawns and I start laugin' too. Talk about stakin' a claim. Best not tell Bella she might not find it quite so funny.

Reining in our laughter we enter the house.

Bella pounces the second we walk in the door.

"Edward was here last night!" She almost yells.

"We know, Carlisle just called me. How do you know?" I ask, concerned.

"Because he just fucking called me too!" Her face is bright red and she's blazin' with indignation. "How did he get my fucking number!"

Carefully I push some calm out to her as I put my arm around her shakin' shoulder. "He could have got it from anywhere baby, your number's not unlisted."

"Oh." A little of her rage dissipates. "Of course. Do you want to hear his message?"

Pete and I nod eagerly.

"Bella." Its Carlisle's smoothest doctor tone. "It's Carlisle Cullen here. Edward informs me that he, ahem, saw you in Los Angeles last night and as a result we, the family are extremely worried about you. Please will you call me and let me know that you are well? Thank you."

"You should call him sweet thing."

We all turn to Pete in surprise.

"It'll get Eddie off our backs for a while if Carlisle tells him that you're safe an' happy."

"Do you think so?" She asks chewin' her lower lip in that damn sexy way.

"I know so."

"But I don't want to talk to any of them." She wails.

"It might be best darlin'" I sigh "a text message probably ain't gonna help."

Growling she flips open her cell and returns the call.

"Carlisle. Thank you for your _belated_ concern about my welfare. Please tell your stalker, I'm sorry, your _son_ that if he comes anywhere near me again I'll fucking shoot him. Good Bye."

That's my girl, I'm so proud.

Pete an' Char are laughin' like loons an' its a few moments before he can speak. "Well it wasn't quite as reassurin' as I was hopin' for sweet thing but I reckon you got your point across well enough."

And then she does it again. "Jasper, just exactly when last night was Edward here?"

Oh oh.


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. **

**Chpt 21 Moving On**

**BPOV**

My mind wanders pushing the drone of voices into the background.

Not only did Edward find me but he potentially found me in flagrante delicto with Jasper. Embarrassing much?

No, not really I suppose. After all there is nothing in my relationship with Jasper for me to be ashamed of and certainly nothing that should be of interest to Edward. If he's gonna go round spying on people then he's gonna see things he might not like. I never thought of him as being a stalker before but I guess he is, all the times he crept into my bedroom in Forks without me knowing and now following me and spying on me in LA. He even broke into my apartment and went through my mail, finding the address for the house in the hills. Hell, I've arrested people for less. Disgusting. What's wrong with him? And if he saw something he didn't like why didn't he man up and do something about it? Not that I'm hankering for Jasper to rip him a new one but . . . . Well, but. If Edward actually thinks I'm in danger why did he just run off and leave me? Again. For that matter where are the rest of the Cullens? If Jasper, Pete and Char are so fucking dangerous why ring me, why didn't they dash here to rescue me?

Mentally I shrug it off. Pete doesn't think we'll see him again now until after Jasper has changed me, which suits me down to the ground because by then I'll be able to kick his worthless ass from here to Timbuktu. That's if I even remember him.

It seems surreal to me that in few short days I'll be dead and reborn as a vampire.

I can't help feeling that I should be afraid or regretful or something normal sounding but I can't be any of these things. I have never been nor ever will be a normal human being. I am never going to meet a normal man, get married have children and grow old and die contentedly. I never imagined that life for me even before I met Edward and fell down the rabbit hole. Instead I will be happy, I will have Jasper and I will have a family with him, Pete and Char. I will belong, I will fit and I will be wanted.

Jasper isn't the sugar coating type so he has been uncomfortably blunt about what I can expect from my new life and my first few months and years as a vampire. Warts and all, he doesn't paint a pretty picture but I will survive and I will have help. He's even been brutally honest about how life as a Whitlock will differ from being a Cullen. He's not trying to put me off, I know he wants me, he's just letting me make my own decisions and ensuring that I have all the information available to do so.

Perhaps I am being a little naïve but what choice do I have? I love him and I do not want to be without him. There's a teeny weenie little normal part of my brain that keeps asking me if I'm sure I know what I'm doing and aren't I rushing things a bit, repent at leisure and all that jazz. After all didn't I fall hard and fast for Edward? Look how that ended up, not fantastically well if I'm honest.

But Edward and Jasper are two completely different men, well one of them is anyway, the other one is a man child. And I am a completely different woman. I have seen and done things idealised Bella would never have imagined or coped with and I have survived and I have grown. Jasper is the man I need to share my life with and if death is the price then I am prepared to pay. I probably shouldn't have made a decision about immortality back in Forks when I was just a child myself but I can now. I can choose and I choose to _live_.

Ungh! Here I go again, blathering away to myself as if everything in my life is about Edward. Am I so fixated on him and what he did to me that I'm pathologically unable to appreciate what I have in front of me with Jasper? Does that immature vampire define who and what I am?

What if Jasper's fear that I am Edward's mate is incorrect but yet I'm so hung up on Edward and what he's done to me that I let it destroy my relationship with Jasper?

What if I am Edward's mate? It's an appalling thought, the very idea makes my skin crawl, my stomach churn. What if Alice was right and I wake up to my eternity tied to a man child I can't abide? Then I really would be damned, just as Edward always predicted. I cannot imagine, I just cannot, imagine a world where I am not destined to be with Jasper and this faith will _have_ to carry us through.

And what is the alternative? To grow old and die with Jasper, just to be on the safe side? Unacceptable. Jasper and I should be equals, he needs an equal and I don't want him to have to worry about me or feel vulnerable because of me. The very thought makes me shudder and feel nauseous, if his enemies are constantly recycling then I will _not _be a weakness for him. And one lifetime with Jasper would never be enough. Fuck I'm selfish.

Jasper. He will _never _be allowed to suffer again if I can prevent it. I would die to prevent it. A thousand times. I am learning more about him all the time, he is a strong and complex person and yet for all that strength there is a fragility about him. He is as hard as iron and iron is brittle and easily broken. He's fought so hard to keep himself whole and it will be my job to help him now. _Mine_.

Char says my feelings are those of a mate and although humans and vampires can't mate I take comfort from her words. Perhaps if I am very, very lucky Jasper and I will be mates. According to Char it's a very odd thing to describe, mating, being far more of a physical venom thing than an emotional one. But she says I'll know, when the time is right. Oh god it had better not be fuckin' Edward.

And finally, typical me, I get to what I will be leaving behind when I _die_ and it's a depressingly short list.

My job. Joel. My bed. My mother.

I love my job, but it is not a family, it is not love and it is not all that I am. It has been a stepping stone to all that I will be.

Joel is my only human friend. This is both sad and indicative of why I feel I have always been destined to be something else. I will miss him but not enough and he will not miss me, at least not for long.

Ah, my bed. Pete has already made arrangements to ship it to Wyoming. Jasper is the only thing in my opinion that may, or may not, be too good for my bed. We will see.

My mother. The only source of guilt I feel about giving up my _life_. Even though we have drifted apart she will always be the best friend and biggest burden I have ever had. But really what can I do? Pop down for a visit? After four years I think not. As much as it saddens me our life together is already over and we have nothin' to say to each other. For her I will just disappear.

I fidget in my uniform, after giving my evidence I have simply drifted off into my own little world. The rest of the proceedings have passed me by and I have to wonder why I insisted on this _closure _to my human life if I'm going to pay so little attention to it.

The judge appears to be summing up.

" . . . . . . justifiable use of deadly force. Captain Harris and Officer Swan are completely exonerated. We, the panel, commend them on their swift and selfless actions in saving the life of their colleague while at the same time we mourn the sad loss of life . . . ."

Speechless I sit immobile as countless hands pound on my back, congratulating me, praising me, commiserating with me and wishin' me a long and distinguished career. And all this time I'd had no idea, no idea how much I needed a group of my peers to tell me I'm not a murderer.

Tears of relief slide down my cheeks as the courtroom clears. Eager to get home to my family and the first day of the rest of my life I rush out into the sunshine, free . . . .


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. Lemon.**

**Chpt 22 Dead Reckoning**

**BPOV**

The house in Wyoming is a shit hole. Pete said he'd had the builders in but it looks like they were knocking the place down, I shudder to think what it was like before.

With a weary sigh and a sharp eye out for spiders I look for somewhere in our bedroom to pack my clothes away. I haven't brought much with me, it would look a bit suspicious if most of my possessions disappeared right after the hideous accident which is about to befall me.

The nature of said hideous accident has yet to be decided. Pete and Char are in favour of a spectacular fiery car wreck, apparently they consider themselves aficionados of a well constructed automotive disaster. Jasper is in favour of the, goes walking in the woods and disappears presumed eaten by a bear, school of death. Mainly because it doesn't involve breaking into a morgue and stealing a body. I don't have a preference other than that I don't want to know anything about my funeral, that would be _nasty_ and creepy and all kinds of wrong.

We're going to take a couple of days to settle into the house and scout out the town and surrounding area and then Jasper is going to change me. Of course I had the completely impractical idea in my head that Jasper biting me could be romantic or even sexy but he was adamant that I wouldn't want to associate sex with the searing agony of the change and so I bowed to his superior knowledge. Imagine having an eternity with the sex god that is Jasper and being too traumatised to enjoy him, no thank you very much, I've only just discovered the joys of sex and I'm not taking the risk. Instead after much deliberation we have agreed on the day and that Jasper will surprise me. So at some point on Wednesday I am going to die and it will be as much of a shock as possible under the circumstances. Something tells me this is not the best compromise I could have reached but I couldn't stomach the idea of it being cold and clinical. At least it's not up to Pete, he'd probably break in and do it while I was on the john or something.

A couple of hours later I have cleaned and scrubbed everything I can reach while the vampires do what ever it is they do when they move into a new house. Deciding to take advantage of their absence I cook and eat a meal in peace before settling into the least disgusting chair I can find with a good book.

The others return a couple of hours later absolutely filthy dirty, their clothes torn.

"Wow, what happened to you guys?" I ask in wonder as Jasper crushes me into a muddy hug.

"Checking the boundaries and markin' our territory so any passin' nomads know we're." He answers.

"And you do this by rolling around in shit?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

"Oh." Now there's something I'm looking forward to every time we move.

Laughing Pete and Char head off to their room to clean up as Jasper starts rubbing himself up against me.

"What are you doing?" I ask as I try to wriggle out of his grubby embrace.

"Markin' my territory." He murmurs rubbing his nose into my hair.

"Do you mind marking it in the shower, you stink."

"Your wish is my command ma'am."

He picks me up and we blur upstairs to our room where he deposits me on the bed.

Stepping back he slowly removes his boots and peels off his socks. He has long sexy feet with beautiful suckable toes, note to self, suck Jasper's toes. Smirking he unbuttons his jeans hooking his thumbs into the loops and sliding them down his sculpted, hard thighs and kicking them off the ends of his lean legs. He hands me his hat to hold as he peels off his t-shirt giving me a slowly emerging view of his stomach, abs, muscular chest and perfect broad shoulders. I love his shoulders, they're so wide and strong and I love them best when they are over me. With a low chuckle he retrieves his hat replacing it and pulling it low over his eyes. Still chuckling he slides his boxers off straightening up, naked in all his glory before me and dear god he _is _glorious.

"Darlin' you're a little over dressed for the shower."

Sitting up on the edge of the bed I kick my shoes off quickly and lock my eyes with his black ones. Reaching behind me I untie my halter neck and let the top fall to my waist, licking my lips I unfasten my bra removing it slowly and freeing my breasts. I cup them and with a small moan begin to massage the tender tips.

Growling he takes his erection in his hand and begins stroking its length slowly in time with my massaging hands, his expression unsmiling, intent and clouded with lust. Mesmerised we watch each other silently.

"Take off your panties." He orders finally.

Standing I turn away from him bending forwards as I reach under my denim skirt to shimmy my soaking panties down my legs. Watching him over my shoulder I climb back onto the bed kneeling on all fours.

Swiftly he covers the distance between us roughly shoving my skirt up to my waist, his breathing hard and heavy. His long fingers wrap around the top of my thighs digging in slightly as this thumbs knead my ass. The only sound is our breathing punctuated by the occasional moan from Pete and Char's room.

Slowly I feel Jasper's lust creep over me like a light mist coiling over my body, mingling with my own creating a tangible pull against my hyper sensitive skin, almost as if its trying to drag it from my bones.

"I want you." He rasps, trailing his hand up and down my spine with a light touch totally at odds with the aching need I feel from him. "Are you feeling how much I want you?"

I nod mutely, my back arching a low groan on my lips.

"Can you take more?" His voice is low and rough. "Do you want to feel more?"

His hands return to massaging my ass, holding me in place as I try to ram my thighs together and grind myself back against him. Another wave slithers over my skin and it feels as if his fingers are everywhere on my body at once touching, stroking and tracing, feather light and teasing. Drawing fire which focuses and builds within me causing my limbs to twitch erratically and a flood of wetness to flow down my thighs.

I moan louder as the sensations continue to roll over me while his hands hold me rigidly in place.

"Does that feel good darlin'? Does it make you feel good how much I want you?"

"Yes, oh god yes."

He pulls my thighs further apart and gently presses my chest into the bed. "I want to see what I do to you."

Oh god. Exquisite tension is building within me my walls clenching and washing more of my arousal out of my body as my limbs twitch and jerk.

"You smell so good." He moans reaching his hand around between my thighs and trailing a finger lightly across my wet flesh making me scream in frustration and longing. "You're so beautiful, wet and glistening for me." Bending over me, his chest pressing against my back he leans in and drags his tongue around my ear, echoing the movement of his finger, flicking it inside the shell.

"Jasper, _please_."

Straightening again he deliberately increases the pressure of his finger on me as he begins to move my hips backwards and forwards allowing his cock to slide between my thighs.

Whimpering into the bed I push back against him desperately. His lust continues to wind across my skin melding with the sensation of his finger moving against my flesh and my climax starts to build my body tightening as the fire and tension in my core prepares to sweep through me.

As the first wave of my orgasm crashes into me and my walls clench he plunges his cock into me filling me completely, thrusting hard and fast while his finger continues to ignite the nerves in my swollen clit.

I scream at the pleasure and pain as heat flares incredibly higher becoming white hot, setting every nerve on fire and making every muscle coil tight, quivering on the precipice.

"Bella . . . . fuck . . . . need . . . . love . . . . cum . . . . feel you . . . . want . . . . never . . . . so tight . . . . god . . . ."

Still screaming I cum again, lightning and searing heat raging through me from the point where he thrusts into my body, out to every fibre of my being. Waves of pleasure rolling over me, body shaking beneath him, centre pulsating around him.

With a primal roar he reaches his own climax, releasing inside me as he cums, gripping my hips tightly and driving powerfully to his end.

"Wow." I murmur collapsing onto my front.

Jasper flops down next to me, eyes still dark under his hat, kissing me tenderly. Panting we lay staring at each other.

"I'm still dirty." He whispers.

"Then we'd better get in that shower." I respond taking the hat and putting it on my own head.

"You know darlin'" he observes casually "stealin' a man's hat is a punishable offence where I come from."

Giggling I clamber to my feet. "Then you'd better come get it back or punish me Jasper."

At his low menacing growl I let out a squeak and make a dash for the bathroom, before I've even taken a step I feel his hands twist in the back of my skirt ripping it from my body. Free I start forwards again reaching out for the door knob only to find Jasper's hard body there instead, squealing I try to veer off but he captures me firmly in his arms dragging me inexorably into the bathroom.

"You my darlin' are gonna come in the shower with me."

Oh, yes _please_.

Several hours later Jasper carries me downstairs and settles us in a chair, me on his lap. Idly I trace the scar over his heart through his t-shirt while we gaze into each other's eyes.

After a few moments Pete and Char wander in, hand in hand.

"Starin' again?" Pete teases.

"Fuck off" Jasper growls, flippin' him the finger.

"So have you decided how you're gonna pop ya clogs yet sweet thing?"

Tearing my eyes away from Jasper I frown. "I don't know Pete, I don't really care."

"How about alien abduction? I could have a lot of fun with that."

Jasper snorts, turning my face back to his so we can look into each other's eyes again.

"I'm supposed to be dead Pete not MIA assumed probed."

"Well, we gotta do something creative sweet thing. It's a special occasion and a rare event. Ain't none of us got a chance to fake our own deaths."

Sighing I move my eyes away from Jasper's again.

"Isn't there a big lake at Yellowstone?" I ask. "Maybe I could drown."

"Nope, too risky, we'd need a body and someone would notice it wasn't you." Jasper chips in.

"This is a really depressin' conversation." I grumble.

"Ah now sweet thing don't be like that. Char, open her up a bottle of wine and let's get those creative juices flowing."

X - - - - X - - - - X

Great, my penultimate day on earth and I've got the hangover from hell.

Groaning I drag myself into the shower.

Returning to the bedroom I find Jasper lounging on the bed with his boots on, not something he'll be allowed to do on _my_ bed when it arrives.

"Jeez." I grouch. "Do you have to fucking sparkle like that? It hurts my eyes."

Scowling I stomp to the closet and pull out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt getting dressed to the sound of his gentle laughter.

"Sorry darlin', don't take it out on me because you agreed to the world's wackiest death scene."

"Humph."

Still scowling I climb onto the bed and snuggle up against him pressing my forehead against his chest, the coolness and his saddle soap and hay scent a soothing balm for my pounding head.

"Thanks." I murmur as I wriggle in closer.

"What for darlin'?"

"For being my very own ice pack."

"My pleasure darlin'. Pete and Char are waitin' to go into town with us, you ready?"

I nod, also great, shopping. I should have taken up Char's suggestion and done a bucket list.

"Come on then." He chuckles standing and lifting me up. "I'll carry the poor hung over human."


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. **

**Chpt 23 I am Vampire**

**BPOV**

And so it is Wednesday.

Jasper and Pete have had a knock down drag out fight in the yard. Jasper won of course which now means that my spectacular propane cylinder, massive explosion, complete incineration, napalm camp site death is cancelled and the bear will get me. How I love that man.

"Come on." Jasper urges, brushing himself off and replacing his hat. Yep, the bozos in Montana never dislodged his hat but Pete managed to knock it off. I'm impressed. "Lets grab something from the garage and I'll show you round."

The garage is a revelation and I can see what the builders were up to. Typical. There are five cars all from various points in history and all from the genre I would hesitatingly call muscle.

Grabbing a helmet Jasper leads me over to a massive, menacing looking black dirt bike. Climbing on he kicks it over and a wall of angry sound fills the cavernous space.

"Hop on." He invites as I take the proffered helmet and wedge my head into it.

Gingerly I climb on behind him wrapping my arms around him as tight as I can.

At a human friendly pace we ride around the area while he points out all the places of interest, including the good hunting spots and the boundaries. Warning me sternly not to stray over them without him.

Stopping at the foot of a rocky escarpment he carries both me and the bike up it effortlessly, keen to show me the view.

"It beautiful." I gasp, spinning around and drinking it in.

"Not as beautiful as you." He says, walking towards me, southern charm on full power.

Our eyes lock and I go to my happy place, Jasper coma.

He entwines his fingers with mine leaning down to kiss me softly and urgently, his tongue licking across my lips seeking entrance, readily given. Humming we deepen the kiss, taking each other in hungrily our bodies crashing together and our arms flying around each other. Lost in space and time, the perfect kiss.

Chuckling he releases my mouth so that I can breathe, moving his own down to my neck nibbling it gently as he murmurs of love.

"I love you Bella. I love you with everything that I am, forever."

Pulling back he gazes deeply into my eyes.

**JPOV**

This is the most important moment of my existence. I have changed many poor unsuspectin' people, usually with good results but this is Bella and never before has it been so crucial to get it right.

Gazin' into her eyes I push all the love and trust I can at her. Silently praying that I will have enough control and that her change will be swift, her suffering short.

Closin' my eyes I whip my head forwards bitin' down on her beautiful neck an' pushin' my venom in as fast as I can, markin' her forever as mine.

"I love you." She whispers, pushing her love back at me, wrappin' me in a cocoon, calmin' my nerves.

Almost sobbin' I quickly bite her wrists and her ankles, again pushin' as much venom in as I can.

Pickin' her up as she starts to shudder and whimper I hold her close to my chest and run back to the house as fast as my legs will go. Repeatin' my mantra over and over "I love you, I love you, I love you."

**BPOV**

It was so quick I barely felt his razor sharp teeth slice my flesh instead I concentrated on feeling his love and sending my own back as strongly as I could.

But dear god it was only seconds before the agony overwhelmed me and I could do nothing but succumb to it, my last coherent thought being that James's bite was a mere pin prick by comparison.

Gradually I come back to myself, fleeing through dark tunnels pursued by scorching flame. Searching for something, searching for an escape. Every fiery tunnel a dead end, aflame with pain, every avenue blocked forcing me back through the inferno consuming me, burning me to ash.

There is no concept of time, of anything. Only pain, agony, burning and futility. There is no respite, no change.

Awareness seeps into the pain. Fleeing, running desperate I retreat into my mind splitting myself in two. Bella burns and writhes, screaming in agony and Bella crouches in her shelter hiding, feeling, but protected. Hidden Bella knows what is happening. Hidden Bella understands. Hidden Bella remembers. Gradually hidden Bella begins to discern what is going on around her, outside her pain while other Bella burns in the fires of hell.

A cool hand holds other Bella's fiery one, thumb gently stroking her palm. A deep melodious voice speaks and intermittently hidden Bella picks out words.

"Bella . . . . love . . . . sorry . . . . about halfway . . . . screamin' . . . . stop . . . . wish . . . pain . . . . away."

Memories, hidden Bella realises, focus on memories. Mom, Dad, school, Phoenix, Forks, vampires, wolves, pain, death.

No, no, no. Jasper. Love, want, lust, gold eyes, family, strength, protect, love. Jasper. Perfect, breakable, strong, silk skin, saddle soap, hay, thumbs.

"What's she feelin'?" Another voice asks.

"Pain. Pain and lust." Jasper replies.

"Fuck, J, I hope she's thinkin' about you."

Deep vicious growls. Hidden Bella and Jasper, growling together.

Footsteps backin' hastily out of the room.

"Bella?" A soft question.

Other Bella screams and howls. Hidden Bella retreats further into her shelter. Time passes.

Voices. Above the pain. Pulling hidden Bella back.

""How's she doin'?" A female voice, Char.

"I don't know." Voice low, tortured. "She's stopped screamin', her voice went a couple of hours ago. I can't feel her anymore."

Oh Jasper. Concentrating with all her might hidden Bella squeezes his hand.

"Bella?"

No, no, no. Too soon, too soon. Hidden Bella retreats again. Time passes.

A rustle and a sigh.

"She must be almost done, she looks different already." Pete.

A strained sigh.

Time passes.

The sudden acceleration of other Bella's heart jerks hidden Bella out of her cage and crashes the two of us back together, making me whole. And impossibly I scream as the pain intensifies and builds focussing on my poor heart. Struggling, beating, speeding, exploding, stopping.

Nothing.

Silence, three people breathing.

I gasp, pulling air into my throat and I taste, I taste three scents. Saddle soap and hay, vanilla and pipe tobacco.

A creature with eight spindly legs tracking across the bathroom floor, spider! I fuckin' knew it! Screaming I leap to my feet yanking my hand out of Jasper's.

Finding myself on the other side of the room and pressed against the creaking wall I open my eyes.

Jasper, Char and Pete, watching me warily. My family.

I smile.

They smile back, carefully.

"Bella?" Jasper asks softly. "Are you okay? What are you feelin' darlin'?"

"Confused." Startled my hands fly to my mouth, my voice has completely changed. It's soft and musical, I sound like a sex kitten.

I survey the others across the room. They're every bit as beautiful as I remember but sharper, more clearly defined. This eyesight is unreal, I can see everything, every dust mote, every color, every wrinkle and every crevice of the things around me. And every bug around me, yuk!

My fingers press into the flesh around my mouth, I feel like me, just smoother and silkier.

Reaching out cautiously, shocked at the speed of my movements so far, I shuffle around the bed to Jasper like a zombie. My fingers press into his cheek, moving and flexing it. Bringing up my other hand I pinch and waggle both cheeks like a great aunt with a baby, squishing them together and making him pout, absolutely fascinated.

"You aren't hard any more." I pinch again to get my point across.

"Ouch." He mutters, jerking his head back.

Quickly I lower my hands to my sides.

"And you're not cold."

"I've never been cold Bella" he drawls "I've always been hot." I roll my eyes, its true he's never felt particularly icy to me, just cool like he's come in from outside on a cold day.

Reaching out again I trace my fingers over the scars on his arms. I can feel them properly now, raised damaged flesh and the white lines which felt flat to me before, shallow depressions like tiny dried out river beds. With my right hand I trace out the thick scar over his heart through his t-shirt, he brings his own hand up shadowing it lightly and there is a faint vibration in his chest.

"Are you purring?" I ask, shocked.

"Yes darlin', I do it every time you touch me like that."

Wow.

"How do you feel?" He asks me again.

"Can't you tell?"

"No." He shakes his head sadly. "I haven't been able to feel anythin' from you since about halfway through your change. You're completely closed to me now. Like a blank emotional space."

Concentrating hard I push my love out to him but there isn't even a flicker of recognition on his face.

I frown suddenly angry and afraid.

"Are you thirsty Bella?"

My free hand flies to my throat, its dry and scratchy, it's annoying and painful. I feel confused, I feel angry, I feel afraid and I feel like I have a sore throat. But I am relieved that I still feel like me.

I nod and he takes my hand gently leading me past Pete and Char, who are still smiling warily at me, down the stairs and out onto the porch. Where I stop dead in my tracks.

Whoa! Head rush!

This is almost too much. Colors, sights, sounds and scents. Thousands and thousands of them all trying to catch my attention at the same time.

"Easy Bella." Jasper's voice is calm and soothing. "Its okay, you'll soon get used to it. Just relax and let your brain sort it all out."

I stood there for 3 minutes 47 seconds while my startled but more than adequate brain processed all the information it was receiving, sorting it and storing it all away for future use. Instinctively I am aware that the complex scent of motor oil will never surprise me again, I know it now and my brain files away thousands of other bits of similar background information. For example, the yard is mostly dirt and yet I can smell 14 different types of grass growing there, a botanist would have a field day but nobody else needs to know that shit, right? Filed.

Jasper waits patiently at my side, holding my hand, while Pete and Char hover behind us.

Slightly less freaked out I turn to Jasper, my eyes still wide with wonder.

He chuckles. "It's a bit much to get used to but you will. We all did."

I nod, still not comfortable with my new sex kitten voice and suddenly I remember Lauren in Forks, she would have killed for my new voice. I giggle.

"Something funny sweet thing?" Pete asks, stepping a bit closer, obviously gettin' more confident that I'm not gonna lose it newborn style.

"Just a memory. Do they always fly into your head like that? Like they're shot in from a gun?"

Pete laughs. "They sure do lil' sister, still fuckin' happens to me now. Somethin' just triggers it off and wham, you remember summat from your human life. Random shit mostly."

"Bella, we should hunt, it will help you focus." Jasper urges. "Pete and Char are gonna come too, don't want you chowin' down on a park ranger your first time out."

I grimace. No we don't. I am determined to be a good vegetarian right off the bat.

"I'm not wearing any shoes." I mutter, looking down at my pale bare feet.

More chuckling, sparkin' that little bit of anger still in me.

"What?" I snap.

Char holds her hands up in the universal don't lose it gesture. "You don't need shoes any more sugar, lets go huntin', you'll see."

I allow Jasper to lead me off the porch.

"You ready to run darlin'?" He asks, beaming in anticipation.

"Yes."

And we're off.

Running is awesome! No wonder they all love to do it so much. I'm so fast and strong and I can completely let go and give it everything that I have. Squealing in delight I drag Jasper along with me by the hand, no way am I letting him go. The rocks, grass and dirt flying beneath my feet are like soft bed covers. Hehe, no shoes for me, ever! It's amazing, despite the speed I can still see everything as clearly as if I were sitting in front of it with a magnifying glass. And I can hear Jasper easily when he speaks to me, Pete and Char too who are running a little way behind and slowly falling back.

Eventually Jasper pulls me to a stop.

"I thought newborns are supposed to be stronger and faster than mature vampires." I pout. "But you kept up with me easily."

"That's because he's The Major lil' sister." Pete laughs, stopping beside us. "Ain't nobody stronger an' faster than The Major."

I narrow my eyes at Jasper suspiciously while he drops his and worries the ground with the toe of his boot.

"I thought Edward was the fastest and Emmett was the strongest?"

"It was for the best to let them think that for the most part." He mutters.

"What are you? The vampire equivalent of Clark Kent?"

Pete roars with laughter. "That's good, I love it, he's always got his nose in a fuckin' book and in the seventies he wore nerdy glasses for a couple of years. Come on Clark, let's show your ol' lady how to hunt."

Jasper growls, leaping at Pete and smashing him into a nearby tree which snaps in two sending them both rolling down the steep slope we've just run up.

I look at Char and she shrugs. "Pete's very good at knowin' when J needs to let off some steam. The last few days have been very stressful for him, he was worried about you. Are ya thirsty sugar?"

I nod. The dry scratchy feeling is getting worse and my throat feels hot, almost burning.

"J. Pete." She hollers. "Pack that shit in. Bella needs to hunt!"

They return sheepishly, Jasper dustin' off his hat and replacing it on his head. Pete rubbing his arm and whining that Chinese burns are cheating.

"Sorry darlin'." Jasper murmurs, pressing his lips briefly to mine.

And holy shit. Here's another new sensation.

Growling I pounce on him, throwing him to the forest floor and flinging myself down on top of him, hands ripping at his clothes. Lips devouring his.

"Glad to see she's got some normal newborn instincts." Pete observes dryly.

I'm so intent on getting him naked and inside me that I've completely dismissed Pete and Char's presence. Its only when it dawns on me that although Jasper isn't making any attempt to fight me off, he is chuckling quietly that a semblance of modesty and control returns to me.

Slowly I rise to my feet backing away from Jasper. Not any easy thing to do considering his shirt is in tatters, his chest twinkling at me in the weak sunshine and his appreciation of my efforts straining to escape his jeans.

"Ooops." I mutter.

His low dirty chuckle is so much _dirtier_ with my new hearing.

"Let's hunt darlin' your throat must be really burnin' by now."

I nod, my hands flying to my throat.

"Okay." And he's all business. "Close your eyes, take a deep breath and tell me what you can smell and hear."

I obey. "Heartbeats. Wet thudding, heavy. Lapping? Drinking water?"

"What can you smell?"

"Animals. Deer?"

"What else?"

"_Blood_."

"Where?"

"About 500 yards away, over there." I point, opening my eyes.

"Does it make you feel thirsty?"

I nod. I can hear it swishing through their veins, calling to me. I fidget uncomfortably, my throat on fire.

"Then just follow your instincts. I'll be right behind you. Go"

Released I take off after the tantalising aroma, flying over the ground aware of Jasper shadowing me. Bursting through the trees I find three deer drinking from the creek. Launching myself effortlessly through the air I land on the back of the closest one, bringing it crashing to the ground.

With a wanton moan I sink my teeth easily into its neck. Hot wet blood instantly running into my mouth dousing the fire.

I am vampire.

**A/N Apologies for the long chapter, I wanted to get it done in one go. Also massive apologies for not covering the faked death they chose, it would take several chapters to do it justice and string out the story too far. I could do it as an outtake? Let me know if you want it . . . . **


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. **

**Chpt 24 South America**

**EPOV**

Apparently there are many things I do not understand.

Women, being one of them. I do not understand what Bella could possibly see in Jasper, but Carlisle assures me that Bella made it quite clear she is happy with him. I do not understand what Alice sees in him either, she has taken the news that Bella and Jasper are together very badly. Oh well, misery loves company.

I have done nothing but obsessively over analyse what has brought me to this point.

Jasper Whitlock has stolen my mate and I am very, very angry.

However I am not a fool and I realise I must take some blame for what has occurred. I should never have left her. Never. It was insanity. I love her and I should have stayed with her and found a way to make it work. Now there may never be a way. All I know is that I must find out if she is my mate and I must at least try to win her back. I have pushed her into this terrible _association_ with the Whitlocks and I must at least attempt to rectify the situation.

And yet here I sit. Once again I have run to South America. To Rio.

This I do not understand either. Yes, I feel comfortable here but should I not be doing something about Bella? Carlisle was most uncharacteristically insistent that I do nothing to interfere in Bella's life. You could almost say that I received a dressing down. He accused me of behaving like a stalker when I explained everything to him. Me.

I couldn't stay in New Hampshire while my mind and body cried out for action and so I came here. If I am honest the family's thoughts were also a little uncomfortable. None of them really approve of Bella and _him_ being together so I cannot understand why they are so disappointed with me.

Of course Rose was the most scathing. While she has in no way ever approved of my relationship with Bella she apparently holds me in contempt for running away and leaving Bella with _him_. What does she think I should have done? Poked my head out of the bushes, apologised for interrupting their intimate moment and invited Bella out to dinner? In truth I was so shocked to find _him_ doing something I had barely dreamt of I didn't know what to do. Naturally I have day dreamed about being in his place _constantly_ ever since. Being 17 years old can be extremely inconvenient at times. But she is beautiful, my Bella.

I nurse my drink, brooding, my mind travelling the same infernal loop from the first moment I saw her until today. Perfect recall is a blessing and a curse. If I were not a vampire I am sure that Bella and I would be together, happy. But I am a vampire and it is no life for one such as her.

"Eduardo!" A rich deep voice booms across the bar. "How lovely to see you again my friend."

"It is good to see you too, my friend." I answer, warmly. And it is true, he is one of the most erudite men I have ever met. I have wished many times that I could introduce him to Carlisle, they would have so much in common. He came to the Americas as a Conquistador and to say that his life has been fascinating is an understatement.

"So how is your beautiful woman? Have you looked for her?" He asks as he always does. He knows the story of Bella and I well, although not that she is human, having become a confidant over the years. I can read in his thoughts that he thinks me a little silly for allowing the prize I have described to slip away and he empathises with me having lost his own mate many years ago.

"Yes. I found her. She is with another, a former member of my family. Jasper."

"Have you spoken to her young one? Have you told her how you feel?"

Interesting, he is curious about Jasper, a name he recognises from the past.

"Not yet. I will. They know that I found out about them. My father felt it prudent to place some distance between us for the time being. My former brother has something of a temper." I shake my head sadly. I am not afraid of Jasper, I can read his mind and I am faster but I do abhor his savagery and would hate to stoop to his level. I assume he would want to fight me for Bella's affections. An interesting idea, Bella would surely not appreciate such a display of animalistic tendencies. Hmm.

Again, interest in my friend's mind. I wonder if he knows Jasper? I cannot imagine it, the two of them could hardly have anything in common.

"Well, I am sorry Eduardo. The course of true love never runs smooth." His thoughts are compassionate and understanding. "I am sure you will work it all out eventually with your beautiful woman and this Jasper."

I am about to thank him when my cell rings.

"Carlisle."

"Son, you need to come home. Jenks has been monitoring the situation as requested, there has been a fatal accident in Yellowstone National Park."

I snap the phone closed.

He wouldn't. Would he?

"I am sorry Rutilio, I need to get back home as quickly as possible."

"Oh well my young friend, I will miss your company. Until we meet again."

Shaking his hand firmly I bid him farewell and speed back to my hotel.


	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. **

**Chpt 25 Out of Control**

**BPOV**

A week of my new life has passed already and like everything else so far it has been contradictory, both the quickest and slowest week of my life.

I am sitting in a tree for a number of reasons. Because the view is wonderful, I can see trouble or dinner coming for miles and because Pete says I need some quality alone time. I suppose I have been a little difficult to live with. Not that I'm really alone, I can hear Char mooching around about half a mile away, minding me but not being obnoxious about it.

I am thankful that Jasper took so much time beforehand to explain being a newborn to me because otherwise I'm pretty sure I'd be bat shit crazy by now. And I'm not even a normal newborn. No, apparently there's nothing normal about Bella Swan. I feel like I am completely out to lunch but the others assure me I am very calm and controlled, more like I'm almost a year old than a mere week.

Initially there's just so much going on you don't get a chance to focus on anything properly. I still haven't managed to hold a proper conversation without gettin' distracted, zoning out sometimes, absorbed in some random new bit of information or sensation. I feel like I'm totally ruled by my instincts, thankfully there only seem to be four main ones for me to deal with. Hunt, kill, fuck, fight. The order of preference depending on what is in front of me at the time. Not very civilised although I'll be the first to admit I'm enjoying the sex part. Jasper's not complaining either, even though I've practically raped him on more than one occasion he's wandering around the place with a huge smile on his face proclaimin' himself to be a happy and satisfied man.

He's had to sit on me a number of times to prevent me giving in to my instincts. To stop me chasing after prey when it isn't safe, to stop me starting a fight because my anger is out of control or to stop me molesting him when we have an audience. I feel like a toddler on sugar coated steroids. Calm and controlled my sparkly stone ass.

I love sparking, every time the sun comes out I stop in childish wonder and watch the light refracting off my skin, its beautiful. The rest of me's not bad either, I grew two inches, still short compared to Jasper and Pete but I'm taller than Char now. My body has become curvier and I look like Jessica Rabbit without the ears, deserving of my new sex kitten voice. All in all I'm not complaining although I still look cute and completely harmless and someone's in for a shock one day. They haven't started teaching me to fight yet because I'm still too volatile and no one wants to lose a limb to the cute baby member of the family but apparently I have shown a natural talent for it once or twice already.

There have been lots of surprises. I was amazed to find out that you can actually feel it when your eyes change color, going black from desire or rage, it's a useful early warning system giving me a slim chance to rein it in before I lose control. The bloodlust was another shock, that first drink on that first hunt set off a frenzy. I am thirsty all the time, even now having just hunted there is a low burn in my throat, nagging at me, irritating and distracting me. An eternity of mild tonsillitis awaits and sometimes I even get a little twinge in my chest, like now. Gradually I am learning to think around it and ignore it, unless something warm and pulsing with blood is in front of me and then I hunt it without a second thought. Hence my minder, I am not allowed anywhere near a human, it couldn't possibly end well no matter how much I detest the idea.

Getting control of my strength and speed has been easier than I expected, the vampire mind is like a steel trap. As soon as you've worked out once how much force or speed to use you never forget but from time to time you come across something new and accidently crush or shred it before you even realise. At least now I understand why Pete had so little work done on the house, I was only going to wreck most of it anyway and fixing it up has taught me a lot. Bella the Builder, can we fix it? Yes we can. Repeatedly in fact.

And then there is my gift, as soon as I described my experience during the change and we tied it together with Jasper's losing the ability to feel me and Edward's inability to read my mind Pete pronounced that it was my gift. A shield. We still don't know very much about it and Jasper says it's possible that it may never amount to much but he's still pissed he can't feel or influence my emotions anymore. And so am I, it brought us closer and made us feel like we were two halves of one person. Some gift, but we will work on it when I can concentrate properly.

Apart from the long road ahead there is one other blot on my landscape, Pete says Edward is coming. Despite my rampaging newborn emotions I can't find it in me to be bothered. He'll come. There will be trouble. He'll leave, possibly in pieces, because Jasper is extremely bothered. The mate thing. I can't deny that it worries me but I still don't see how I can belong with Edward when Jasper is everything to me. Oh well I suppose the impending visit will sort that out once and for all. You can't be mated to someone your lover has shredded, can you?

Movement in the periphery of my vision pulls me back to my environment. Four dust trails, coming this way at an inhuman pace. Executing an elegant back flip I throw myself out of the tree, landing perfectly on the balls of my feet momentarily distracting myself, there are many things about being a vampire I am coming to _adore_ and the physical grace of movement is one of them. Pulling myself together I set off, running for Char.

"Char!" I shout as soon as I see her. "Vampires, four, coming from the East."

Without a word she takes my hand and we sprint back to the house.

Jasper and Pete are waiting on the porch having heard our approach.

"Vampires, four, coming from the East." I repeat flinging myself into Jasper's opened arms.

"No rest for the wicked." Pete sighs, pecking Char on the cheek. "Upstairs ladies, J and I'll greet our visitors."

I look up at Jasper, doubt on my face. "Go on darlin'," he urges "Pete and I'll be fine and you'll be safer out of the way."

Reluctantly I nod. If the visitors aren't friendly the last thing we need is a crazy newborn tearing' up the place.

Jasper and Pete move out to stand in the yard while Char and I flit up to the bedroom with the best view of the yard and press our faces to the window.

With the vampire stillness I am coming to appreciate we wait like statues for twenty minutes until two dark haired vampires emerge into the yard.

"What can we do for ya'all?" Pete calls out in a friendly voice.

"Hello." The taller vampire responds. "We're looking for the Whitlocks, we heard they may be staying in these parts at the moment."

Pete and Jasper sigh in unison and Jasper lifts his hat shifting it forwards and down over his eyes. We can only see their backs but I know that Jasper's eyes will be black and empty, a sadistic grin forming on his perfect lips, The Major reportin' for duty.

"You've found 'em. What can we do for you folks?" Pete asks patiently.

"We were told you might be able to help us find someone we're looking for." The smaller one pipes up.

"Well son, I ain't helpin' you with nothin' until your two friends come out of hidin'. Ain't friendly behaviour." A hard edge creeps into Pete's voice.

"We're alone." The tall vampire responds, indicating himself and his friend with his hand.

"Yep." Pete responds, lifting his hat and scratching at his hair. "And I'm Martha fuckin' Stewart. Call 'em out, I ain't playin' around we gotta newborn in the house, call 'em out or I'll go lookin' for 'em."

"We're alone, as I have said." A nasty smile breaks out on the smaller vamp's face. "Surely it would not be sensible for you to leave your friend here alone with us when you have the two females in the house."

"Oh, I ain't worried about him. Ya'll can play with him while I look for ya friends." And nodding to The Major, Pete turns and saunters across the yard disappearing into the trees.

"I have to go help him." Char whispers to me. "You stay here, you understand me sugar? We can handle this but we need to know you're safe in here okay?"

I nod and she darts out silently.

Jasper and the two vampires watch each other silently.

"You don't talk much do you cowboy?" The taller vampire asks, looking The Major up and down with barely disguised interest.

Silence. Apparently not.

With a nod the vampires start edging away from each other, smiling at The Major.

"Stand. Still." The Major commands, his voice flat.

Smiling the vampires continue to move apart, making it about four feet before suddenly falling to their knees in the dirt moaning in pain. What's happening? The Major turns towards my hiding place a small smile tugging at his lips. Oh, he must be projecting something nasty at them. They don't look like they're enjoying what ever it is.

The seconds tick by and I can feel tension building inside me, patience being one of the casualties of my change.

Suddenly another vampire, short and stocky like a boulder, flashes into view, flying at The Major's back and all hell breaks loose before I can even blink. The Major has flipped the newcomer over his head and sent him sailing into the side of the garage before I have completed my dive through the bedroom window. Trying to look everywhere at once I land in an ungainly heap, springing to my feet as I try desperately to catch up with the action. The two dark haired vampires are struggling out of what ever funk The Major has been holding them in, the larger one moving towards him already.

The Major moves forwards whipping his arm out and slamming the approaching vamp into the ground, deftly ripping off his arm as he passes which he immediately swings around like a baseball bat at the head of the other vampire who has also started forwards. A resounding crash echoes across the valley. The three of them begin to circle each other, the two vampires recovering their wits quickly and attempting to work together against The Major, who is swinging his 'bat' threateningly. They come at him from opposite sides, speed increasing while the boulder, who has extricated himself from the wreckage of the garage flies up to him from behind.

A black fury envelops me and with a roar of rage I run forwards leaping onto boulder's back and locking my legs around his torso while I lock my arms around his neck, pulling back with all my strength. To my surprise his head separates from his shoulders with a metallic screech and I fall to the ground, his body following me, his head rolling away to the side. Our eyes meet, his in shock, mine in rage. "BASTARD!" I scream and kicking his body off mine I leap to my feet placing my leg on his chest, ripping his arms off in one clean jerk and beating his torso with them frantically.

Another rending screech breaks into my frenzied drumming and looking up I find The Major with two 'bats', an evil grin and his opponents down to an arm each.

About to start forward to fight with my man yet another strange vampire scent invades my nostrils sending my instincts into overdrive and my fury to a whole other level. Protect. Kill. Emitting an even more terrifying roar of rage I launch myself at the new arrival, knocking him to the ground and sinking my teeth into his throat.


	27. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. **

**Chpt 26 I am Whitlock**

**BPOV**

Two massive heavy arms grip me, pulling me away from my intended kill and wrapping me in an inescapable embrace.

Disgusted by the taste I spit out the chunk of vampire flesh in my mouth struggling frantically against the strong grip of the new vamp and screaming at the top of my lungs for Jasper to save me.

Finding him with my eyes I see The Major's evil grin disappear, replaced by cold calculation. Dropping the limbs he is wielding he once again incapacitates his assailants with an emotion that looks like lethargy and slowly and purposefully he begins to stalk towards me.

"Put. Her. Down." He commands.

The owner of the imprisoning arms shakes his head slightly and does not release his grip.

"Put. Her. Down. Emmett. Or I will hurt you."

Immediately I go limp, ceasing my struggles, the fury leaving me and my normal personality magically returning.

"Please Emmett." I beg. "Please put me down, he's coming, I'm in control now. Please he's coming, let me go. Don't make him hurt you, he doesn't need that."

He shakes his head behind me again and I panic, snapping suddenly. Screaming. There's an ear splitting explosion and suddenly I am free, falling to the ground in a crumpled heap, my eyes screwed tightly shut.

An eerie quiet descends, broken by Pete. "Well fuck me sideways and call me Lula Belle. I wasn't expecting _that_!"

Cautiously I open my eyes to a bizarre scene.

The two dark haired vamps are lying pathetically on the ground, apparently too weak to move. Boulder's arms are wiggling across the dirt looking for his body. Pete and Char are back, carrying assorted body parts between them, grinnin' like assholes. The Major has stopped his advance and is watching me with a small smile on his lips.

Edward, Edward is lying on the ground clutching at his neck and whimpering.

And Emmett, my poor bear of a former brother, is sitting on the ground behind me his face frozen in shock and his arms a good twenty feet from his body.

Slowly my eyes swing to The Major's, drawn by magnets.

"Peter." He commands in that same flat voice without looking away from me. "Collect and separate all the parts, we'll need to question them. They _cannot_ be permitted to leave. Char, help Em and _him_ reattach any bits they're missing. Bella and I will be back shortly."

The Major holds his hand out and I take it willingly, pulling myself to my feet and following him at a dead run.

After several miles The Major stops and turns to me.

"What the fuck?" He asks in that flat, emotionless voice.

Squaring my shoulders I look him in the eye. "You expect me to sit and watch while people attack you? Don't you know anything about me?"

"I told you to stay in the house. Char _told _you to stay in the bedroom. For a _reason_."

"Well fuck your reasons!" I yell, annoyed beyond belief. "I'm not one of your fuckin' soldiers, I'm your . . . ." What am I?

"What are you?" He asks, voice low and menacing.

"I don't know what the fuck I am to you!" I spit out.

Growling lightly The Major tips his hat further back on his head, his eyes lightening and turning gold.

"Bella." Jasper answers. "You are everything to me. I love you."

"And I love you." I respond, stepping forwards and wrapping my arms around him.

"I'd better fuckin' teach you to fight an' read a situation properly." He sighs, hugging me back and burying his face in my hair.

I nod, humming happily into his chest.

"Jasper, what happened to Em's arms?" I ask eventually.

"Darlin' I think your shield might be physical as well as mental. Just as you panicked there was a flash of blue light and Em's arms just ripped right off his shoulders."

"Oh." And. "You felt me panic?"

"Yeah." He whispers. "I was about to lose it when Em's arms flew off and you fell to the ground."

"Oh. What the fuck's goin' on?"

"Darlin' if we wanna find that out we need to go back and ask the questions."

Mutely I nod.

"Are you ready to go back?" He asks, pressing his lips into my scalp.

I shake my head. Ready to see Edward? No. Ready to apologise for my gift accidently tearin' Em's arms off? No. Ready to find out why four strangers have turned up out of the blue hell bent on killin' my family? Not for a minute or two.

And so we stand there, holding each other tightly until the sun begins to set.

"You need to hunt." He whispers, breaking the silence.

"Yes." Today's excitement has drained me completely and I don't think I can face the inquisition that's coming on the vampire equivalent of an empty stomach.

Taking my hand he leads me deeper into the forest until he finds a small glade carpeted with soft grass. "Sit down darlin', let me catch dinner for you."

With a soft sigh I sink down onto the grass, running my fingers lightly through the damp blades my mind freewheeling. Within minutes Jasper returns with a doe, placing it gently in my lap and sitting down behind me nuzzling my neck.

Hungrily I suck down the warm blood my normal rabid frenzy calmed by Jasper's presence. Finished I kick the carcass off my legs, leaning back into him and accepting his arms around me gratefully. A mild vibration begins in my chest soon echoed by Jasper's, I can feel it thrumming gently against my shoulder blade.

"I'm purring." Wonder colors my tone.

"You are darlin'." He nuzzles closer into my neck. "This is the first quiet intimate moment we've had in a while without you turnin' into a sex fiend. Not that I'm complainin' but I _have _missed this."

"Me too. This is nice. I love you."

His arms tighten around me briefly in acknowledgement.

"Is Emmett going to be cross with me?"

"I doubt it darlin', he's got a very forgivin' nature. I'm not sure how Edward's gonna react to you nearly rippin' his head off though."

"Humph."

"I sure appreciated it. Funniest thing I've seen for a long time. He's gonna have his very own scar, that'll freak him out."

I sigh heavily, loathe to break our quiet moment. "We have to go back don't we?"

"Yes, we do. If nothin' else we need to know who set those four guys lookin' for us and we need to work out a plan of action."

"Will you be okay with Edward?"

"We'll see darlin'."

"You know its you I love don't you?"

"I know that Bella, I just pray that it's enough."

Standing Jasper helps me bury my dinner and then we set off for the house, hand in hand.

In the yard we find our four visitors laid out neatly in rows, each several yards apart. Heads, torsos and limbs all lined up ready for quick assembly, Pete and Char patrolling the aisles and kickin' at anything that's trying to move.

"Where are the Cullens?" Jasper asks.

"Eddie took Em huntin' to help his arms fuse back. They should be back in a while."

"Then let's get this interrogation over before they do." Gathering the heads, Jasper lines them up on the porch like jack-o-lanterns, turning his eyes to me questioningly.

"I'm okay, do what ever you need to do." I assure him, crossing my fingers behind my back. This is way out of my comfort zone but this is my family and my life and I need to get used to it.

Nodding he addresses the heads. "Which one of you fuckers wants to answer questions?"

The head on the far left, the one I haven't met yet, blinks his eyes rapidly and opens and closes his mouth ineffectually.

"Pete, fetch this asshole's body and stick it back on."

Pete and Char drag the body over and sit the head back on it. Within seconds the head is screaming in pain as it fuses back onto the neck.

The others watch impassively and I thank my lucky stars that my gag reflex is a thing of the past because, frankly, it's gross.

After a minute the screaming quietens and the, um . . . . Well there's no word in my mind yet for an animated limbless body so we'll go with vampire, the vampire gasps for breath.

"What's your name son?" Jasper asks, squatting down in front of him.

"Sergio." Pain in his voice.

"Well Sergio. What are you folks doin' here?"

"We were told your coven would know where The Major is."

"Who told you that?"

"Spanish man we met in Rio, Rutilio I think his name was. David knows him."

Jasper and Pete exchange glances.

"Who is David?"

Sergio nods towards one of the other heads, wincing in pain.

"Pete." Jasper orders and another head is reattached, one of the dark haired vamps who came into the yard.

"How do you know Rutilio?" He asks when David has caught his breath.

"I met him a few years back, at the fights. He organises them, the big money ones. What are you going to do with us?"

"Why'd he send you lookin' for The Major?"

"He didn't. He knows we're interested in the old southern wars and when we met up with him a few days ago in Rio he told us he'd got a lead on The Major. We only came to see if we could find him, not to fight him, we're not that dumb."

"What were you gonna do when you found him?" Pete asks.

"We were going to let Rutilio know, I think he's interested in getting him to fight if he's still alive. That'd be quite a draw. Serious money. Kudos to us for bringing him in."

"And what were you plannin' to do with us Whitlocks?" Char asks, joinin' in for the first time.

No answer. Jasper leans forwards and I can feel a backwash from the honesty and integrity he's projectin'.

Blinking rapidly dark hair answers. "We were gonna have a little fun with you. It would have enhanced our reputations at the fights."

Char growls menacingly, stepping forwards. Pete grabs her hand and pulls her back, shaking his head slightly.

"What are you going to do with us?" David asks again, fear and pain in his voice.

"Well son, we're gonna make a bonfire out of ya." Jasper answers calmly. "You see I _am_ The Major and I ain't interested in fightin' anyone. I have family an' that's all that matters to me."

"Please . . . . sorry . . . . don't kill . . . . won't tell . . . ." The two heads with breath are babbling incoherently, the others merely rocking backwards and forwards in agitation, clear venom pooling under them and staining the porch.

Just, gross.

"Sugar." Char tugs at my arm. "Help me get some wood."

Across the yard we tear down a few trees, ripping them up and making a large pyre.

Grimly Jasper and Pete collect up all the parts, droppin' them onto the pile.

Pete pulls a lighter out of his back pocket. "Who's fryin' tonight?" He asks.

"I am." Char grabs the lighter out of his hand, flickin' it and throwing it onto the pyre. With a whump the flammable venom catches and the pyre becomes a searing inferno, thick purple smoke coiling into the night sky.

Instinctively I move back until I reach Jasper's hard body and his arms encircle me.

"I'm sorry darlin'." He whispers into my hair.

"For what?" I ask, my voice harsh. "Not bein' the one who's dead?"

"Yeah, I guess so." He mumbles.

"Don't Jasper, not ever! I chose this life and I chose you. I'm no stranger to death. I know when it's necessary. But we need to find a way to end this because I will _not_ lose you."

"Amen sister." Pete intones as we all stare into the fire.


	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. Lemon.**

**Chpt 27 Avoiding the Unavoidable**

**BPOV**

Our revere is broken by the sound of Edward and Emmett returning.

With a sigh Jasper turns me to face him. "Are you okay darlin'?"

I nod tightly, twisting in his arms again to face Edward.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, voice thick with hostility.

"I came to save you." Edward answers simply.

"From what?" Disbelief. "Being happy?"

"Bella, love . . . ."

"Don't _love_ me you twat!" I scream, starting forwards but jerking to a stop, held back by Jasper.

I look at him, at Edward Cullen. He's just as pretty as I remember, features perfect, bronze hair wild, eyes pools of deep gold, flawless body hinted at beneath his preppy clothes. My memory had stored him away well but hadn't done him justice.

"Edward, Bella is a newborn, you need to be careful." Jasper warns quietly.

"She attacked me." He accuses, his eyes flashing to Jasper's.

"What did you fuckin' expect?" I shout. "You crept up on me in the middle of a fuckin' fight! What did you think I was gonna do, shake your fuckin' hand?"

"Bella . . . ." His eyes turn back to me, his brows knitting together, an expression I recognise.

Oh no, he's not going to tell what to do is he?

"Bella, I think you should . . . ."

"You know what Edward, nobody cares what you think, just fuck off!" Yanking myself out of Jasper's grip I storm into the house, intending to have a bath.

Coming out of the bathroom an hour later I find Pete lounging on the bed.

"What are you doing here?" I grouch.

"I drew the short straw, lil' sister. I've been sent to see if you've calmed down."

"Humph."

"You need to talk to Edward sweet thing. He ain't gonna leave you alone until you do."

"I did talk to him." I snap.

"Oh yeah," he chuckles "you really womaned up to that one. Real productive dialogue. The first time I've heard you use fuck three times in one sentence, I'm sure he understands everythin' now."

"Where is he?" I sigh.

"J's sittin' on him to keep him away from you."

I laugh at the image. "He won't hurt him will he?"

"Nah, J won't mess him up unless he refuses to calm down."

"Why's he upset?"

Pete laughs, beckoning me onto the bed beside him. "It's a long list sweet thing. Where'd ya want me to start? First he's found you with me and Char, who he considers deviant to say the least. Then there's J, who is apparently despicable beyond words. Then there's the fact that despite everythin' he thinks _he's_ been through to protect you, you're a vampire. Of course then you have to factor in that you, his dearly beloved sweet and innocent little flower, swore at him and almost ripped his head off."

Pete stretches his legs out lying back and lacing his hands behind his head and sighing in contentment. "Once he's dealt with all that he'll probably get round to delvin' into everyone's minds like the dirty little sneak he is and then he'll confirm his suspicions that you and J have been fuckin' like stoats and then he's gonna be _pissed_."

"What the fuck has that got to do with him?" I splutter, outraged.

"Well sweet thing, he think's J's been jumpin' his claim, Eddie boy think's you're his mate."

I groan. "Not him too."

Pete nods.

"I'm not his mate am I Pete?" I ask desperately.

"No sweet thing I don't reckon you are."

"But you don't know?" I narrow my eyes.

He smirks.

"Get out Pete" I growl "I need to get dressed."

Chuckling he saunters out closing the door behind him.

Dressed in my favourite denim skirt and Jasper's favourite red halter top I eventually pluck up the courage to go downstairs.

The Cullens and the Whitlocks are sitting on opposite sides of the living room regarding each other silently.

Grumbling I plonk myself into Jasper's lap, taking a deep breath before raising my eyes to Edward's.

"Bella . . . ." Was his voice always that breathy and whiney?

"Edward." For that matter was my voice always this hard and flinty?

"Can we go somewhere and talk?"

Jasper's fingers tighten imperceptibly on my bare thighs. "We can sit in the yard if you want?" I offer.

"I meant somewhere private." He huffs.

"Edward there isn't anything you or I could say to each other that I won't tell Jasper afterwards so what difference does it make if he hears it first hand?"

"Alright." He mutters sulkily, rising to his feet.

Tracing Jasper's heart scar with my finger I reluctantly get up and follow Edward outside, awkwardly we settle on the porch steps.

"Bella." He begins. "I owe you an apology. I should never have left you. It was wrong. I love you, I loved you then but I felt that you deserved better than I, that you deserved a normal, happy human life."

"Did you?" I ask, voice flat.

"Yes, yes I did." He continues urgently. "I realise it was wrong now, that you have not been happy and you have not been safe but I did what I did with the best of intentions. I never meant for you to be a vampire and it was unavoidable if we had stayed together, either by accident or design."

"You're not happy that I'm a vampire?"

"Yes . . . . No. I don't know. What happened Bella? How were you turned?"

"It's a very long story Edward are you sure you want to hear it?"

"If Jasper . . . ." He sighs pinching the bridge of his nose. "Bella what did he do to you?"

"He sucked the life out of me Edward. He bit me. On the neck, the wrists and the ankles."

"Oh Bella, how? Why?"

"Because I asked him to, because he loves me, because he wants me and he isn't afraid to take what he wants."

He recoils as if he's been slapped.

"You _wanted_ this?" He asks incredulously.

"Yes, Edward. I believe we've had this conversation before. I wanted this. I want this. I am happy with _this_."

"But Bella, they are_ savages_."

Oh oh, urge to kill, rising.

"No Edward. We aren't savages. We're vampires."

"Bella!" He pleads, twisting his hands in his hair. "You killed someone today, I saw you. Surely you do not want that?"

"Edward." No response, still engaged in pulling manically at his hair, sharper then. "Edward!"

His head snaps up.

"I killed to protect someone I care about. It wasn't the first time and it probably won't be the last. I can live with that, I do live with that. I am not the person you think I am." Anger building I rise to my feet brushing off my skirt. "I don't understand why you are here Edward or what you want but please listen when I tell you that you aren't welcome."

"Bella I am here because I love you, because I want you and because you are my life, my mate. I want to look after you."

My mouth falls open in surprise, momentarily knocking my anger on its ass.

"You're a bit late Edward." I snarl. "I needed a knight on a white charger four years ago but I don't need one now."

"Bella, what . . . ."

"Jasper!" I shout. "I need to hunt." Breaking into a run I head for the trees.

Within seconds he has caught up with me, sliding his hand into mine, shadowing me silently.

After I've hunted we curl up together on a flat rock staring at the stars.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks.

I shake my head.

"Do you want me to take your mind off it?"

I nod.

His hands roam sensuously over my body eliciting soft moans from me. Encouraged he unties my halter top sliding it down to my waist moving his loving touch over my newly exposed skin, kissing along the back of my shoulders under my hair.

Slowly I uncurl my body stretching and pressing back against him as his hands continue to explore me gently. Ghosting over my shoulders, down my arms, across my stomach, around my thighs and over my aching breasts.

"Jasper." I moan. "I want you."

Groaning Jasper rolls onto his back, releasing me.

Straddling him I lean down snagging my teeth in the neck of t-shirt and pulling back, ripping it slowly from his body. Bending down I lick across his chest, my hands running up and down his arms, feeling his muscles contract beneath my touch and his chest quiver under my tongue.

Inching down his thighs I undo the buttons of his jeans, taking them into my mouth and tugging them down his legs, where they get stuck on his boots. Giggling I pull his boots off, his jeans following quickly.

"Hmm." I lick my lips. "Have I ever told you that you have beautiful toes?"

"Nu uh."

Slowly I take one of his perfect toes into my mouth, sucking on it as I watch his hands curl into the rock, crushing it into flakes beneath his fingers.

Smiling I kiss my way up his legs, stopping to lavish attention on the scars my tongue finds there, placing open mouthed kisses on the bites and trailing it along the dried out river beds I now know to be dismemberment scars.

Bringing my hands up I massage his hard thighs while I lick and nibble my way up them. Humming happily to myself I pause to kiss his erection from base to tip, flicking my tongue across the top to capture the moisture there. His body jerks under me, cock twitching against my lips.

I pause briefly to grin wickedly at him. His head is raised, hat pulled down as he watches me with black eyes and slack lips his breath already coming in harsh pants.

"Bella." He moans.

Still grinning I return to my task, licking along him again before moving up to dance my lips across his stomach, twirling my tongue in the indentation of his belly button. He gasps, twining one of his hands into my hair while the other continues to dig into the rock. I work my way further up his body, laving him with my tongue and massaging him with my fingers, so totally fascinated by the way he feels to me since my change, warm and pliable, that I am almost oblivious to his quiet moaning and gentle writhing.

Reaching his neck I nibble on it, scraping his delicious skin with my teeth, making him hiss sharply, his cock convulsing against me sending wetness flowing onto my thighs.

"Do you like that?" I whisper into his throat, biting down firmly.

"Yes ma'am." He gasps, bucking his hips into me.

Chuckling I lift my head, lapping my tongue across his perfect lips and pulling away when his mouth opens his own tongue reaching for mine, leaning forwards again I lick his nose, kissing it lightly before sitting up.

Smirking I grind my hips into him, hard, and his hand falls from my hair joining the other digging into the rock. Lifting myself up I take his cock in my hand, running it backwards and forwards across my wet flesh, rubbing it against my clit, sending shivers down my spine.

"Bella." He moans again.

"You're so beautiful Jasper." I whisper as I look down at him. His perfect body spread out beneath me in the moonlight, his perfect face twisted with desire. That god damn _sexy _hat still pulled down over his eyes.

With my own moan I lower myself down on him, feeling him stretch and fill me, moulding the contours inside me to his hard length.

His hands abandon the rock, flashing to my breasts, kneading and pinching my nipples, his expression intent and serious, pulling the building fire from where he fills me and sending it washing through me. I drop my hands behind, rolling his balls in them and stroking the soft skin underneath as I rock my hips against him, fire licking out across my now tingling skin.

Growling he drops his hands to my hips, raising and lowering me, stretching and filling me over and over our moans mingling, growing in volume, sending the roosting birds flapping madly into the sky.

I watch the muscles in his arms, abdomen and chest flex as he moves me. His head falling back, the cords in his neck taut as his throat works noiselessly. Oh god, so beautiful. He thrusts into me with increasing force, both of us grunting now as the pleasure builds, electricity arcing between us and racing across our skin. Rise and fall, stretch and fill.

"I'm gonna cum." He gasps, twitching inside me, his whole body taut and shuddering beneath mine, his eyes rolling back in his head. "Bella, _please_."

My head falls back, my eyes closed every muscle in my body tightening and pulsing with white heat as he plunges into me with ferocious abandon, my name falling from his lips.

"Cum inside me Jasper." I pant. "I want to feel you."

He cries out, his shuddering increasing as the first wave of his climax hits, his cock throbbing, triggering my own orgasm to break over me, his cold seed pumping as I clamp down on him, drawing him in and squeezing him tightly.

"JASPER!"

My body still singing with pleasure I collapse against him and he wraps his arms around me, holding me close as our trembling subsides.


	29. Chapter 29

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. **

**Chpt 28 Sayin' Goodbye**

**BPOV**

Jasper and I sneak into the house through the hole I made earlier, showering and changing before joining the others downstairs.

Pete and Char are cuddled up on the chair smiling at us indulgently. Em is smiling tentatively, probably not sure of the reception he's going to get and Edward is scowling. Of course.

Before he can open his mouth I hold my hand up, stopping him. "Edward. I am a week old and my ability to concentrate is flaky at best. I can't deal with you right now, we have more important things to discuss. So please, just wind your neck in and keep quiet."

Huffing he subsides into his chair while Jasper leads me over to the couch pulling me into his lap and wrapping his arms around me tightly.

"Perhaps ya'll could start by explainin' how you came to be here at the same time as those four eejits we just cremated?" Pete asks innocently.

"We were coming anyway. Jenks informed us of Bella's death and I came down here to find out what happened. We crossed their scent a few miles away and decided to follow them." Edward answers.

I am about to explode again when Jasper strokes his thumbs across my wrist, calming me. Determined I clamp my jaws shut, we will have this conversation if it kills me.

"An' what's brother bear doin' here?" Pete continues.

Edward fidgets uncomfortably, scowling at Jasper. "Carlisle thought it best if I brought some protection with me."

We all start laughing, even Em who attempts to hide his amusement behind his enormous hands.

"Alright. We'll let that go for now." Pete allows, reinin' in his chuckles. "We need to find out why Rutilio's suddenly got so interested in findin' The Major."

Edward's head snaps up and I feel Jasper stiffen. "Do you know Rutilio?" He growls at Edward.

"I know _a _Rutilio, in Rio. I cannot understand however what connection he would have to your current _difficulties_. Who is The Major?"

"What does he look like Edward?" Jasper asks.

"Medium height and build. Dark hair. He is Spanish. He was a conquistador."

Pete's eyes meet Jasper's over my head. "That's him." He confirms grimly.

"Yes but he cannot possibly be the same vampire you are thinking of." Edward continues. "He hardly seems the type, he has certainly never mentioned anything about The Southern Wars and I have never heard anything about it in his thoughts."

"Could someone fill in the blanks for the rest of us?" Em huffs, saving me the bother.

"Rutilio was head of one of the most powerful armies in The Southern Wars." Jasper explains. "We destroyed his coven, Maria killed his mate. He killed Maria. He is an extremely dangerous man and not the biggest fan of the Whitlocks."

All eyes swivel back to Edward.

"I still maintain that I would have heard something in his thoughts if it were the same person. If Rutilio was involved in your less than savoury past I . . . ."

"What?" Jasper barks.

"He did seem to recognise your name when I mentioned it to him."

"You mentioned me to him?"

"J, bro, calm down. You're projectin', it ain't Eddie's fault he's stupid." Pete chips in.

"Did you tell him where to find me?" Jasper asks quietly.

"Not deliberately." Edward shrugs.

"Not deliberately." Jasper repeats slowly.

"Jasper I can hear what you are thinking and I absolutely fail to see how attacking me is going to help the situation."

"It'll make me feel a fuck of a lot better." He growls, shifting me off his lap.

Edward gasps, turning to Jasper his eyes wide. "Oh dear god. _You_ are The Major?"

Em's jaw drops as he regards Jasper in awe. "I lived with you for nearly sixty years man and you never told me you were the fucking Major?"

"How did I miss that?" Edward asks himself.

"Edward." Em sighs. "You don't actually think we only think about sex an' shoppin' all the time do you? We do it to keep you out of our heads."

Jasper nods in agreement, smirking.

"Jasper, _please_, could you not think about doing that to my Bella, this is hard enough as it is." Edward whines.

And there goes the control fairy.

"I am not your Bella!" I scream leaping to my feet.

"I am sorry Bella, forgive me I still struggle sometimes with modern conventions. I did not mean to imply ownership."

Oh please, is he for real? "Edward." I growl. "I do not have a problem with ownership, I _belong_ to Jasper."

"You _belong_ with me Bella." He responds, his voice suddenly hard.

"Oh shit." Pete mutters, pulling Char closer to him. "Here we go."

Truly the vampire mind is an amazing thing because I can feel myself snap even though I am powerless to stop it, even down to the millisecond it takes my eyes to turn black. Other Bella and Hidden Bella are back. Other Bella is going to kill Edward and Hidden Bella is going to help.

Faint blue light snaps out around Edward and I as I stalk towards him, repelling both Em and Jasper who are attempting to get between us.

"I hate you." I rage as I stalk towards him, venom flying out of my mouth. "You left me. You left me for Victoria to kill. You cost me the life of my father. You made me a killer. I blame _you_ for _everything_."

"Bella, I . . . ."

Screaming I launch myself at him my hands finding his neck, the force of the impact sending us tumbling through the living room wall into the kitchen. Landing on top of him I kneel on his chest closing my hands around his throat and squeezing as hard as I can, venom dripping onto his face from my still screaming mouth. Struggling he finally manages to throw me off, breaking my death grip on his neck and flinging me back into the living room. Immediately I flip back onto my feet watching as he comes after me, his face distorted by fury. Instinctively Hidden Bella pulls back the blue shield flexing around us until it covers only me.

Edward crashes into the shield, rebounding into the living room wall where Em pounces on him wrestling him to the ground and pinning him there.

I stand in the wreckage, chest heaving for unneeded breath, sanity creeping slowly back over me.

Eventually I recognise Jasper's voice. "Bella, darlin', can you hear me? Can you lower your shield darlin'?"

Other Bella and Hidden Bella crash back together and the blue light blinks out. Jasper pulls me into his arms, almost crushing me.

"Are you alright, did he hurt you? Darlin' are you okay?"

Weakly I nod.

"She's not going to go at him again is she?" Em asks, his voice laced with concern.

I shake my head and whisper. "No. Never again. He's not worth it. Its over. Take him away Emmett, I never want to see him again."

"Bells." Em's voice is still concerned. "There's still so much I don't understand, what happened to you after we left?"

Sighing I push my face further into Jasper's chest. "Victoria came after me. She wanted revenge for James's death. The wolves tried to protect Charlie and me but eventually she found us. She bit Charlie. One of the wolves was going to kill him before he could change so I shot him. I killed him. Charlie died anyway. It's in the past and it needs to stay there, its over. Take him away Emmett. Make sure he never comes back. I'm sorry. Bella Swan is dead. I'm Bella Whitlock now."

Silence apart from the sound of Edward sobbing brokenly in the corner.

"I am sorry Bella." He whispers. "So sorry. But you are my mate I cannot just leave you."

"Eddie." Pete interrupts, stepping forwards. "You don't feel it do you?"

"What?"

"The pain in your chest."

"I don' understand?" He whispers.

"Bella's been away from ya twice since you've been here and neither time you've felt tuggin' in your chest. You would have felt it if she really was your mate."

Em nods. "That's right Edward, its like indigestion or something. I can feel it now."

A strangled sob escapes Edward but my attention is on Jasper who is returning my own wide eyed stare.

"I've felt it." I gasp, placing my hand over my cold dead heart.

"Me too." He whispers, copying my movement. "Every time we are apart."

Pete snorts. "And the penny finally drops. Halle-fuckin'-lujah!"

"Did you know?" Jasper growls without releasing my eyes.

"Not for sure J but I couldn't see how Eddie could be sweet thing's mate. She keeps tryin' to fuckin' kill him."

Jasper growls again.

"Sorry J. Seriously I was pretty sure, but you two were so worried about the magic midget's vision you wouldn't a listened to me anyways. Ya'll just needed to work it out for yourselves when the time was right."

"How could Alice be wrong?" Edward asks, his voice muted.

"I dunno Eddie. You'll have to ask her." Pete shrugs.

"Bells. I'm sorry. For everything. I'll take him home to Carlisle now. He won't bother you again." Standing Em hefts Edward's limp body to his chest and starts out the door.

"Wait up Em!" Jasper calls. "We still have a few things we need to discuss about our visitors, Pete and I'll come with you a ways." He turns his attention back to me. "Will you be okay darlin'?"

"Yes, I need to hunt. Char, will you come with me?"

"Sure thing sugar" reaching out she takes my hand "let's go."

Managing a weak smile for Jasper I follow her out the door and into the rising sun.

**JPOV**

"Be careful!" I call after them. "Might still be trouble hangin' around."

"Right. Let's go." I order and the four of us set off at a run stoppin' about twenty miles from the house.

"Jasper . . . ." Edward begins just before my flyin' fist connects with his jaw, knockin' him on his ass.

Em steps forward and I hold up my hand in warnin'.

"Stay there!" I order both of them, sendin' 'em a little dose of fear. "Don't fuckin' move."

"What did you tell Rutilio about me?" I ask.

"Only that Bella was with you."

"How did he know where to find me?"

"He must have overheard Carlisle mention Yellowstone when he telephoned me about Bella's death."

"And you are absolutely sure that there was nothin' else in his thoughts other than that he recognised my name?"

"Positive." He nods firmly and I can feel his honesty, which is a shame because I would love an excuse to beat him to a venomous pulp.

"Alright. That's item one on the agenda. Item two." Swiftly I kick out with my foot, catchin' Edward's chin and flippin' him onto his back immediately jumpin' on him and pinnin' him to the ground.

"Bella is _mine_ Edward. I love her an' if you ever fuckin' attack her again I will send your body parts home to Carlisle in a succession of _smaller_ an' _smaller_ envelopes. You_ will _respect her wishes and you_ will_ stay away from her unless she or I give you permission otherwise."

Swingin' my fist I punch him again.

"Jasper, that's enough man." Emmett warns, steppin' forward. I ignore him, Pete'll deal with him if he tries to interrupt.

"That was for leavin' Bella in the fuckin' woods and ignorin' my warning that James's mate was gonna come lookin' for revenge."

Takin' a deep breath I climb off him steppin' away and watchin' as he struggles to his feet rubbin' his jaw.

"I assume I don't need to tell either of you to keep quiet on the matter of whether or not I am The Major."

They both nod and I feel their sincerity.

"Take him home Emmett and don't let him come back." Turnin' on my heel I start walkin' back to the house, already plannin' what needs to be done next.


	30. Chapter 30

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. **

**Chpt 29 Six Ps, Epic Fail**

**BPOV**

The Whitlocks are on parade, the living room and upstairs have been repaired and we are convened in the yard while The Major paces back and forth.

"What do we know?" He asks.

"Rutilio knows where we are. He's organisin' the big money fights we've been hearin' about the last couple of years. We don't know if he's aware you're The Major but if he's not he seems convinced that we know who is. What the eejits said makes sense, The Major would be one hell of a draw at the fights." Pete summarises succinctly. "If he was simply out for revenge on the Whitlocks he wouldn't be sendin' morons to look for us, he'd send serious muscle or come himself so it seems to me he's just confirmin' we're here while he decides what to do next."

"We need to move again and quickly." The Major decides.

"No way J." Pete shakes his head. "Sweet thing's awesome but I ain't lettin' her anywhere near my horses."

I punch his arm, trying to be gentle.

"Not Montana Pete." The Major responds. "They already know about our place there. We'll need somewhere new. Char, when we're done here get on the laptop and start lookin', it doesn't need to be fancy but it needs to be remote and easily defended and we need to be able to get Bella there without killin' anyone."

"J." She nods.

"We need more information about the fights and Rutilio's associates." The Major continues. "We have no idea how serious the threat is but with the escalation in his interest in us and Pete's feelin' we have to assume that Rutilio's the shit that's comin' an' that he ain't gonna go away again when I tell him I'm not interested in fightin'."

"I agree J. It feels right." Pete nods.

"Alright. As soon as we get settled in the new place you an' Char need to head out and see what you can dig up. While you're lookin' Bella and I will work on her gift an' her fightin' skills."

"Good idea J, the sooner the better. My gut tells me that lil' sis's gift will be crucial at some point."

I roll my eyes. Way to put pressure on the unstable newborn.

Sighin' The Major takes his hat off and runs his hand through is hair. Hangin' it on a fence post Jasper holds his hand out to me. "Come with me while I run a perimeter?" He asks.

"Of course."

We run for several hours, not finding any new scents and eventually Jasper leads me up into a huge tree and we settle into its branches our backs against the trunk, gazing out in opposite directions.

"You okay darlin'?" He asks gently.

"Yeah." I sigh. "There's so much goin' on at the moment I've kinda forgotten I'm a newborn. I've been a lot calmer since I snapped on Edward. Maybe we should invite him round every time I get stressed out."

"I'd rather not." He groans and I can imagine the look of distaste on his face.

"So how does it feel to have a mate Jasper?"

"I like it." Now I can hear the smile in his voice. "I think it's gonna suit me."

"You might not like it all the time." I chuckle. "Wait till I start beatin' up on you like Char does Pete."

"I don't think you will darlin'. We're bonded mates."

"What does that mean?"

"It's my venom that runs in your veins."

"What difference does that make?"

"It makes our pull stronger, it'll make it harder for us to be apart, like Carlisle and Esme."

"And yet you still doubted we'd be mates?"

"I changed Char, she didn't fall in love with me and she mated with Pete." He fidgets, about to admit a dirty secret. "I love you so much an' I've done so little to deserve bein' happy I was fuckin' terrified somethin' would go wrong. Alice's vision seemed the most likely thing."

"That's kinda dumb."

"I know." He responds his voice small and quiet. "I'm still fuckin' terrified."

Oh Jasper. Concentrating with all my might I summon up Other Bella and Hidden Bella in my mind. Hidden Bella scuttles into her shelter, shootin' me dirty looks and then slowly the faint blue light appears extending around Jasper and I in our tree. Taking a deep breath I focus on my feelings of love and devotion for him, letting it well up inside me and Other Bella pushes it outwards with all her strength.

"I can feel you!" He gasps.

With a whoosh all my breath leaves my body, Bellas slamming back together and the blue light winking out. "Don't get used to it Jasper." I pant. "That was hard work. Much harder when I'm trying."

"I'll do my best darlin' but you might wanna brace yourself."

"Why?" What's that ominous creaking sound?

"Because your freaky blue light cut through the branches an' we're goin' down!"

With a loud crack the branches let go simultaneously and shrieking with laughter Jasper and I plummet to the ground.

"Ouch." I moan, peeling my face off the forest floor. "I thought stuff wasn't supposed to hurt when you're a vampire."

"I didn't say it wouldn't hurt darlin', just that it wouldn't do ya any harm."

"Are you laughing at me Jasper Whitlock?" I growl as I scramble to my feet and dust myself off.

"Yes ma'am." He looks at my face, frowning. "Oops."

Before I can pounce on him he takes off back to the house his irate mate hot on his amused heels.

"Ah." Pete opens his arms wide as we career into the yard, me screamin' vengence. "The love birds return."

Jasper grabs his hat ramming it back on his head and dodging behind Pete. "You can't be mad at me now, The Major didn't laugh at ya."

"One stupid hat does not a major make." I growl stalking forwards.

Pete squats down duck walking out of the way. "Leave me out of it J. I ain't goin' up against your ol' lady. You're on ya own."

"Pack it in you guys!" Char's voice floats out from the house. "I think I've found a place."

Dutifully we all troop inside, my eyes promising revenge on Jasper later.

"Minnesota?"

"Up on the border, nice and remote." Char nods.

"And how the hell are we gonna get a newborn all the way up there?" Jasper asks.

"We'll travel on foot, at night, keepin' to the less populated areas." Char traces the route out on the map.

"Its miles." I complain.

"Sweet thing, you're a vampire, it ain't far."

"I can get everythin' we need in place before we get there. Its one of those 'the end of the world is nigh' type places the rich folks like to have in the middle of nowhere. Small but with everythin' we gotta have." Char cuts in, all business.

"Okay." Jasper nods. "But we need to do some of the journey by car, otherwise we'll leave a scent trail for the world an' his wife to follow."

"Goodie." Pete chuckles, rubbing his hands together. "I love stealin' cars."

"Get Jenks on it Char but remind him who he's dealin' with. No sharin'."

"Will do."

"Do you still trust him?" I ask.

"Sure sweet thing." Pete answers. "He told us The Cullens had asked him to keep tabs on you. We didn't see any point stoppin' him. Information is everythin' better to know what's comin' in the long run. He told us before he told Carlisle."

"Pete, how much of your gift is knowing stuff and how much of it is having' a finger in every pie?"

"Well I was always a nosey bastard sweet thing, even as a human. I'd say it's about fifty fifty. Now if ya'll excuse me I've got some pies to go waggle my fingers in, I think I might know someone involved in Rutilio's fights." Winking he wanders away.

"Doesn't he annoy you?" I ask Jasper.

"_Frequently_." He answers with feeling.

Char nods enthusiastically. "You get used to him eventually sugar. His heart's in the right place an' that's all that matters in the end."

"I'm going in the tub." I announce.

Jasper leans down, running his nose through my hair and kissing the top of my head. "You've got about an' hour darlin' then we need to sit down an' plan the move and Pete an' Char's reconnaissance mission. Proper planning prevents piss poor performance."

Groaning inwardly about not signin' up to join the army I tear myself away from him and traipse upstairs.

I am just climbing out of the tub when a now familiar shout goes up.

"Visitors!"

What now?

Grabbing my jeans and a t-shirt I pull them onto my wet body quickly and flash downstairs to join Pete and Char on the porch, Jasper is nowhere in sight.

I can hear a truck approaching down the bumpy drive.

"It's not a human is it?" I ask, nervous.

"No sugar, you'd be able to smell 'em by now if it was. Its two vampires."

Reaching out I take her hand and she gives mine a reassuring squeeze.

The truck pulls into view stoppin' in front of the house and two vampires in suits step out. Suits? They are both tall with dark hair, one short the other with a tight pony tail.

"The Whitlocks I presume?" The pony tailed one asks. "I am Ambrosio and my friend here is Gonzalo."

"We're the Whitlocks." Pete answers his usual casual tone absent which sends a shiver down my spine.

"You must be Peter, el teniente." Ambrosio continues. "And the pretty blonde su pareja Charlotte. And you young one" he turns his deep red eyes to me "you must be the beautiful Bella."

We nod.

"There is one of you missing I think. Where is Jasper?"

"He's around here somewhere." Pete answers shortly.

"A shame. I had hoped to speak to all of you at once." Ambrosio sighs. "No matter, I am sure el teniente will pass on all the information required. I am here on behalf of my coven leader with a proposition."

"I'm already married." Pete snaps.

Ambrosio laughs gently. "I have been informed of your sense of humour el teniente but it is not that sort of proposition. My master, Rutilio, is searching for The Major and he believes that you know where he is."

"The Major's just a legend. Rutilio should know that better than anyone."

"My master knows many things, his memory is excellent. He merely wants to talk to The Major, to put a proposition to him. My master is a consummate businessman, he has no interest in petty revenge. My master is also aware that _many_ lesser individuals are also seeking The Major and he hopes that he will be able to assist with this problem."

"I bet he does." Pete mutters.

Ambrosio smiles broadly. "It is good that we understand each other I think. I am so sorry that I missed your sire, please give _him_ my warmest regards. "

He turns with his companion walking towards their truck.

Stopping he turns back to us a twisted grin on his lips. "Please also tell him that I bear him no ill will for my compatriots, I expected as much, everyone needs to be _tested_. Good day, Ladies, Sir."

Turning again he climbs into the truck beside the silent Gonzalo, who starts the engine and pulls away in a wide arc heading back down the drive.

"Fuck."

"Amen again lil' sister. Lets get packin' I expect J'll be back soon an' he's gonna want us to leave PDQ."


	31. Chapter 31

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. Lemon.**

**Chpt 30 He Who Fights Then Runs Away**

**BPOV**

I look hard into Pete's worried face. "Where's Jasper?"

"I don't know sweet thing." Pete sighs. "He left to check things out when we heard our visitors comin'."

"Then where is he?" I ask again, fear creeping in. "Why hasn't he come back? He's always here when people come. Where is he?"

Char squeezes my hand again. "Don't worry sugar. J can take care of himself, there'll be a reason he's not back."

"Those two pretty boys weren't our normal troublesome visitors sweet thing." Pete explains. "It ain't likely they came here on their own, there are probably others out there in the forest somewhere."

"Then we need to go and look for him, Pete!" Agitation makes me jump up and down on the spot. "We can't just leave him alone out there!"

"Sweet thing." Pete takes hold of my shoulders, keeping me still and leaning into my face. "J is real good at this stuff. He knows what he's doin'. He's got his cell with him. He'll let us know if he needs us. We'll probably make it worse if we go blunderin' around out there gettin' in his way. You have to have a little faith in him lil' sister."

"Pete." Char's voice cuts in. "Smoke."

All our eyes whip around to follow the line of her pointing finger.

In a flash I have shaken them both off and set off at a dead run. They follow me but with my newborn strength I pull away from them quickly.

Shouts of "Bella" and "Wait" barely reach me but there is only one thought on my mind. Jasper.

Within minutes I arrive at what is now a slowly dying fire, a thin trickle of purple smoke snaking into the sky. Jasper's scent is everywhere but to my immense relief not in the smoke. Not in the smoke. Feeling tired for the first time since my change I collapse on the ground, pulling up my knees and rocking slowly backwards and forwards. A few seconds later Char and Pete crash to a stop next to me.

"You okay sugar?"

"Yes."

"Sweet thing." Pete drops to the ground next to me. "You can't go takin' off like that. It's dangerous. There might be more bad guys out here. There might even be fuckin' humans out here."

"I'm sorry. I'm scared. Where's Jasper?"

"His trail goes east." Rising Pete pulls me to my feet. "Since we're out here we might as well follow him. BUT. Sweet thing you need to stay with us. Do ya hear me? You try an' run off again like that an' I'm gonna take one of ya legs off to stop you."

I peer into his face which is wearing a deadly serious expression I've never seen on him before. A different type of fear trickles down my spine.

"I mean it lil' sister." He says softly and seriously. "If the only way to keep ya safe is to hurt ya I'll do it."

I nod and he pulls me into a tight hug. "We all love ya Bella an' we'll do anythin' to protect ya you're one of the family. I know it's hard for ya bein' so young but we're in some serious shit sweet thing and I'm afraid ya gonna have to grow up fast."

I nod again and he releases me smiling sadly. He and Char take my hands and we set off at a cautious run following Jasper's scent. Gradually it gets stronger and Pete slows down until we're creepin' along at a human pace.

"Char" he whispers "circle round up ahead darlin' an' keep an eye out. I can't smell anyone else fresh but we need to careful. Stay outta sight till we know if it's just J."

Nodding she releases my hand and flits away.

Pete and I start edgin' forwards again, towards a clearing in the trees. Jasper's scent is so strong it takes all my self control not to leap forwards. Pete squeezes my hand "Good girl" he whispers.

All I can see in the clearing as we emerge is a huge blue truck but then Jasper speaks, his voice coming from inside it.

"Pete ya sound like a fuckin' herd of elephants, I hope you weren't actually tryin' to sneak up on me."

"Don't blame me J, it's ya mate, she's sincerely lackin' in stealth skills."

Jasper backs out of the truck with a fistful of electronics in his hand and turns to face us.

Immediately I wrench out of Pete's grasp flying towards him.

"You've been bitten!"

"It's only a little one darlin', nothin' to worry about, it's practically stopped stingin' already."

"How many of 'em were there?" Pete asks as I reach out to touch the bite mark on the top Jasper's right arm.

"Three," and "ouch darlin' that's sore."

"Sorry." I murmur, leanin' down and pressin' my lips to the mark gently. When he doesn't complain I flick my tongue out licking across it, feeling the teeth marks and lapping at them gently. Jasper closes his eyes, purring quietly.

"Two of 'em were pretty useless." Jasper continues slowly, chest still rumblin' with quiet purrs while I lick him. "The other one was handy enough, managed to get a bite in. They were here with Ambrosio and Gonzalo, two of Rutilio's men who I take it you met at the house?"

"Yeah." Pete answers. "Ambrosio told me to tell ya he's not mad about them three. Reckon he figured when you weren't at the house he wasn't gonna see 'em again."

Jasper nods. "I followed their trail back here." He lifts the electronic equipment in his hand and tosses at Char who has joined us. "Char can you check it over for any other surveillance equipment? If it's clean we'll use it for the first leg of our journey. We need to get the fuck out of Dodge."

Immediately Char is on the truck, a happy smile on her face, who'd have thought the centre fold was the techno geek in the family?

"Did you get any information out of 'em?" Pete asks.

"They didn't know much." Jasper sighs, eyes still closed and I pull my mouth away from his bite looking up at him. "They were just told to circle around and make sure no one snuck away."

He opens his eyes, looking down at me with a small smile on his lips. "I know I'm gonna like this mate thing." He murmurs, leaning down to brush my lips with his.

Instinctively I leap up wrapping my legs around his waist and attacking his mouth with my own. He kisses me back passionately and then pulls away, still smiling "Sorry darlin' we ain't got time right now."

Sighing I nod, sliding back to the ground.

"Truck's clean." Char announces.

"Okay." Jasper squares his shoulders. "The three of us will head back to the house and grab our stuff. Pete you stay here an' guard the truck."

"No problem J."

We set off back to the house at a run, Jasper holding my hand tight.

"I take it it's your fault you guys came after me?" He asks.

"I'm sorry, I was frightened when you didn't come back."

"It was a very stupid thing to do Bella." He says, giving my hand a squeeze to take the sting out of his words.

"I know, Pete threatened to rip one of my legs off if I tried it again."

To my surprise he laughs. "I'd a done the same thing. You could have put all of us in danger."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be darlin' you were only acting on your instincts, you'll learn but I'm afraid you're gonna have to learn quickly."

"That's what Pete said." I respond sadly.

He squeezes my hand again. "You're already doin' well. I'm real proud of you darlin' an' I'm just sorry you ain't gonna get a chance to enjoy bein' out of control like a normal newborn."

I laugh despite what's going on. I will happily skip over the rest of the out of control part if it's at all possible.

Back at the house Char and I pack like dervishes while Jasper patrols the perimeter. Within minutes we're done and running back to Pete.

"Pete" Jasper asks slinging our bags into the back of the truck "will you guys be okay here for an hour or so while I take Bella to hunt? We're bound to get close to humans an' I wanna keep the risks to a minimum."

Oh _fabulous_, I had completely forgotten about that part of our trip and now of course fear is coursing through me again.

"Me an' my beautiful wife?" Pete asks, eyes wide. "Out here in the forest alone? What ever will we find to do?"

Jasper and I run off laughing as Char thunders into Pete tackling him to the ground before he's even finished speaking.

I finish my own kill quickly, still at the stage where taking my time to savour it is a mere glimmer of an idea somewhere on the horizon and sit back to watch Jasper. The mighty predator, my mighty predator. I don't know what I'd do if anything happens to him, I can't even think about it without fear rimming my dead heart like ice.

How did this happen? In a few short weeks I've gone from a slightly strange and ill fitting human to a ferocious animal whose every instinct revolves around one beautiful man. I still feel like me, but me with an overpowering and deadly obsession. And it isn't blood I'm obsessed with anymore, its Jasper, my mate.

Quickly I strip out of my clothes backing up to stand against a nearby tree as I watch Jasper bring down his second kill.

Finished his black eyes dart up seeking me out and finding me against my tree. I watch filled with anticipation as he stands with fluid grace, shedding his clothes and deliberately as he walks towards me.

He stops when his body is pressed against mine, pushing me into the tree, the rough bark caressing my bare back, his hands resting on it either side of my head as his mouth crashes into mine. The kiss is deep and passionate with a degree of desperation borne of our love and current predicament.

He lifts me up, and I wrap my legs around him as tight as I can my hands knotting into his silky hair, twisting it and pulling it, trying to get his face and body impossibly closer to mine.

"Bella." He groans, pushing inside me slowly. Filling me and moulding my body into its rightful place, connected intimately to his.

And abruptly _we_ are ferocious wild animals. Grasping, biting, sucking. Slamming our bodies together hard in response to our instinctive need, desperate for momentary relief from the tension surrounding us.

Grunting, shouting, moaning, incoherent. Together.

The love is there, cocooning us in its warm embrace but there is nothing romantic about this coupling. Inevitably the tree gets it and we crash into the dirt without pause.

Flipping me over Jasper drives into me from behind, his feral snarling mixing with my own, his hands gripping my hips hard enough for pain to mingle with the pleasure, his teeth scraping along my spine.

Desperate I shove back against him, rubbing my sensitive clit feverishly with my fingers every muscle in my body tightening, preparing and screaming for release.

Shrieking I begin to cum as his thrusts become erratic, throbbing inside me as his body shudders against mine. His roar drowning out my screams as he follows me over the edge.

Panting I fall forwards onto my front, Jasper following me, his body covering mine like a blanket, his breathing matching naturally to my own.

"That was different." He murmurs into my neck.

I nod, temporarily unable to speak. Rolling over he hugs me tightly to him, his free hand brushing lightly across the skin on my back.

"Everything will be okay darlin'." He promises and I sigh unhappily because he doesn't know that any better than I do.

Silently and reluctantly we get dressed and run back to the truck.

Greeting Pete and Char we all climb in, the mood sombre and I curl up in Jasper's lap while Char drives and Pete gives him a full debriefing on the conversation at the house.

Into the ensuing silence Pete makes his final comment. "Well, I reckon we know one thing for definite now, fucker knows who The Major is."


	32. Chapter 32

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. **

**Chpt 31 Honeymoonin'**

**BPOV**

The first part of our journey passed uneventfully and in thoughtful silence. A couple of times I caught the scent of something delicious but we were swiftly passed it before anything more than curiosity could spark in my mind or my throat.

We drove south, away from our destination before setting out on foot to head north.

Once night fell Pete and Char went into a nearby town to hunt and steal another car, leaving Jasper and I hiding in the wilderness. We hunted and made love under the stars, what else were we going to do?

For most of the trip Pete and Char stole cars, filling them up before collecting Jasper and I from our remote hideouts so that we never needed to stop for gas while I was with them. Each time driving on north so that the only humans I encountered were whizzing past in their metal wombs, few and far between late at night.

A few miles short of our final destination I caught my first proper scent of mouth watering human. I was driving at the time because it was late at night and even as I registered the scent Pete's arms clamped around me from behind, securing me to my seat. Needless to say we veered off the highway crashing into a strategically placed tree. A few hundred yards ahead of us was a broken down car, a family with it waiting for a tow truck.

I held my breath, the only thing I could think of at the time, but it didn't really help as the scent was already in my nose, my throat a raging inferno the like of which I have never felt.

Char hopped onto my lap from the passenger seat, straddling me and helping Pete contain my violent struggling. I was thirsty. So very fuckin' thirsty.

After a hurried conversation they decided to just yank me out of the car and make a run for it, reasoning that the car was stolen and any damage or our disappearance wouldn't really be questioned. So acting as my very own jaws of life Jasper ripped the roof off the car and lifting me out between the three of them they dragged me kicking and screaming into the forest.

Not an experience I wish to repeat. How any vampire can interact with a human without drinking them is a complete mystery to me, my admiration for the ones I knew as a human knows no bounds. And I cannot help but be bitterly disappointed with myself, I don't want to kill humans so how could it be that only three older, stronger vampires were able to stop me? Of course they say I'm being hard on myself as I'm only a few weeks old but how can you get anywhere in life if you don't have high expectations of yourself? Stupid mature vampires.

Anyway, problem averted and here we are in Minnesota. Char was right about this place, small but perfectly appointed and absolutely miles from anywhere.

After Char had had an orgasm over all the sophisticated surveillance gear the previous owner had installed, tried it all out and improved it she and Pete set off in search of information and answers. Leaving Jasper and I alone like honeymooners except with more violence and less sex.

**JPOV**

There are some pretty awesome trees in this part of the world and the monkey in me is well satisfied.

We arrived in Minnesota without much fanfare. Bella was amazin' only once did we need to restrain her from attacking humans the rest of the time she was as good as year old. Of course she doesn't see it that way. She's real hard on herself.

Once we got settled Pete an' Char took off to speak to their contacts and get any intel they can on Rutilio, his operation and the fights.

Bella's trainin' started off slowly because I just could not bring myself to attack or injure her in order to teach her, even though I know how crucial the ability to defend herself may ultimately be to her survival. My survival.

So, reluctantly an' ignobly I let my emotionless friend The Major train her. She doesn't complain, she understands, she is an extraordinary woman in every way. And just a little bit scary when we fight. She's good. Merciless, not something I was expectin' but if it keeps her alive I ain't complainin'. If I can just get her to ask questions an' think before she fights she'll be pretty awesome. Of course I am _biased_. I love my mate with everything that I am.

Bearin' in mind my abdication of responsibility for trainin' her I make it up to her each night by puttin' my heart and soul into bein' her lover, her friend and her mate an' I give a damn good massage even if I say so myself.

Every time we are together I fight the natural urge to mark her as a mate would and it ain't easy but it would be dangerous for all of us if anyone knew I had a mate. Very. I shrug mentally. Its too late to do anything about Edward and Emmett knowin', probably the rest of the Cullens too, but although it makes perfect tactical sense even The Major can't bring himself to head over to New Hampshire and remove the threat. Stupid fuckin' conscience.

Workin' with her gift has been the source of most of our frustrations. She gets exhausted fightin' with herself whenever she tries to manipulate it deliberately an' the hardest thing has been tryin' to separate the mental from the physical. On a very few occasions she has managed to let me feel her emotions without the freaky blue light slicing through shit but she doesn't really understand how she's done it and neither do I. I mean I understand the two Bella's in her mind, the way she describes them, but there doesn't seem to be any correlation between her ordering them about and whether or not the freaky light is on. When I pointed out that tactically it would be better if there was never any tell tale blue light I thought she was gonna fuckin' kill me. Frustration.

Mostly she clamps down real hard on her newborn's instincts. She knows we're all in danger and she's fuckin' determined not to make it worse an' to be able to help but I can see how much the struggle is affectin' her so I'm careful to make sure she gets regular breaks, to hunt and to just enjoy bein' a vampire. I love watchin' her explore her new world, she's like a baby with a big stick an' like all of us destroyin' random shit will keep her occupied for hours. Tomorrow I've gotta pop back to a rock face a few miles away from our place because I think the crude rendition of my privates on it's gonna raise a few eyebrows eventually.

I know this shit with Rutilio is weighing on her too. If I thought I could finish it by taking a trip down to Rio, rippin' some asshole's head off and comin' home again I would but I ain't that naïve. Even I know these large scale fights are somethin' of a spectacle an' that means there's a limited number of people he can pitch me against. Every one of 'em the type of person where the consequences of me winnin' are gonna be worse than losin'. People who will be _missed_. An' then of course what are the chances of walkin' away after one fight and fadin' slowly into the background? Pretty fuckin' low. It's bad enough the number of assholes who come lookin' for The Major now, I can fuckin' imagine how much worse it can get. But it ain't in my nature to run an' hide so another solution will have to be found.

Take out Rutilio? Not sure that'll fix the problem. Disappear, hide? The vampire world is surprisingly small, wouldn't last forever. Kill The Major? It'd have to be convincin', we've been tellin' everyone for years he's dead, hasn't made any difference.

The settin' sun gets my attention. Time to finish my perimeter run and head back to Bella, see how she's been gettin' on with her mental exercises. Chuckling I launch myself out of the tree, she likes me out of the way when she does those, even though mates don't get 'divorced' she says I irritate her when she's doin' 'em an' she ain't riskin' it. Yep, I think I'm gettin' a teeny tiny bit pussy whipped an' I love it.

**BPOV**

When I practice with my shield I always come up and lie on the roof because when I've had enough I can watch the clouds roll by or examine the stars. Also if I'm honest I like the roof because it amuses the childish side of me that I, former klutz, can jump on and off it whenever the hell I like. Sometimes I even bring the armchair up with me. No disrespect to my sire but sittin' in a comfy chair beats sittin' in a gnarly old tree hands down.

The sun is setting and Jasper will be back soon. I'm loving our nights together here and how he manages to make all our problems disappear with the sun. When night falls there is only us, Bella and Jasper, young and in love.

Which is why, instead of working with my stupid shield I am re-living our last Tai Chi lesson, one vivid image at a time. Wow. Even without the pyjama bottoms, The Major's a bit stuffy about that sort of thing, it was still hot. Makes it very difficult to concentrate and The Major can get extremely _difficult_ if you don't concentrate. I still haven't worked out how many kinds of wrong it is that I find The Major sexy, considering what he exists for, so I don't want to go anywhere near why an angry Major is even sexier. My vampire libido is as happily screwed up as my human one.

The dark clouds scudding across the horizon remind me of the other clouds hangin' over our lives. With a heavy sigh I close my eyes, almost wishing I could still cry. I am the happiest I have ever been in my life, I _love_ being a Whitlock. I'm even pickin' up the accent, Jasper_ loves_ that. And yet in typical Bella's World some asshole wants to come and take it all away. That makes me equal parts furious and terrified. There is so much for them to take away from me now. My family and my mate. Jasper's done enough, why can't they fuckin' leave him alone? What will it take for us to be left in peace? Everything has a price, what's our price going to be?

It's a constant train of thought I keep getting stuck in at the moment, but I still haven't found an answer. Perhaps there isn't one. Perhaps my life was always meant to be brief flashes of happiness followed by a spectacular crash and burn. If it were just me it probably wouldn't bother me that much, life has made me extremely fatalistic. But it isn't just me anymore, its Jasper, Pete and Char and they matter, they don't deserve this shit.

Pete and Char have called in a couple of times. They're off down south to meet a friend of theirs, Iestyn, some welsh mercenary they met with Jasper during the wars. Apparently he gets involved in the fights from time to time so he should be a good source of information. Other than that there wasn't much more to tell than we knew already. Most of the really big fights happen in South America but there's a training camp and a smaller set up in Kentucky, hidden away in the cave systems. Creepy much?

All of which is why, tomorrow, I'm going to get inside my head and sort those two bitches out. I am in fucking charge here. Its my gift and I _will_ use it.


	33. Chapter 33

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. **

**Chpt 32 Atonement**

**EPOV**

There have been many pivotal moments in life.

When I became a man, at least in my own eyes as a 17 year old human. When my father died and I became the head of the family, not very long after. When I _died_ and became a vampire. When I rebelled and became judge, jury and executioner. When I admitted my mistake and returned to my family. When I fell in love. And when I irrevocably screwed it up.

I have always believed that as vampires we are frozen, never changing, but in fact I realise I have changed many times. I have never accepted or noticed the changes, deeming myself to be content in my own little world. Perhaps always considering myself _above_ having to change. Perhaps unintentionally preventing myself from growing up or moving forwards.

My journey back to New Hampshire after the debacle with Bella was quite an eye opener. Emmett, whom I have always looked down on in many ways, was a mother lode of information and wisdom, not all of it comfortable for me to hear.

I have been an idiot and am apparently reaping what I have sown. At Bella's expense in my opinion but Emmett disagrees. He believes that she is happy and he believes that she is where she was always meant to be. And as much as I vehemently denied it on our journey home I think that he may be correct. Despite my constant desire to make decisions for her and organise matters to keep her safe I have always known instinctually that she was much stronger than I, more capable of facing the harsh realities of life than I. Perhaps I have always been a little afraid of being in love with a woman whom Emmett describes now as being more than capable of eating me for breakfast.

None of which means that I have been able to stop loving her. I may not know her anymore but I still love her. All of her, the Bella of my memories and the fierce vampire Bella who loathes me with a passion. She is magnificent. How could anyone not love her? How could poor, simple, Jasper not love her? However it is no longer my place to love her, as Emmett put it, that boat sailed while I dithered on the docks.

Which leads me on to my current dilemma. Bella is with, I cannot yet accept mated, to The Major. An almost mythical figure imbued with over a century of rumour, speculation and fiercesome exploits. A monster that cannot be opposed, cannot be beaten and is apparently mecca for any number of unsavoury elements in our world.

I am responsible for ruining her life, for the death of her father and for bringing her to this untenable position. I have a responsibility to atone for my actions, to assist in any way I can.

Carlisle, Esme and Rose believe that I should cut my losses, learn my lessons and move on. Emmett is sympathetic to the idea of helping without hindering. And Alice, Alice is sad that the man she loved is now permanently tied to another but she would see harm come to neither Jasper nor Bella and so she will help me too. She has apologised profusely for lying to me about Bella being my mate. She felt it was a probable outcome and had foreseen that the information was what was needed to push me into taking the next step and declaring myself to Bella and for the family to support those actions. Her intentions were honourable if a little misguided, my sister has a big heart and a strong desire to do the right thing but I think, like me, that sometimes her gift colors her thinking. The problem we have, my sister and I, is that she can see nothing from Bella, Jasper or those they are closely associated with. Bella's gift is a hindrance. And so Alice and I will go to Rio, to see Rutilio and to gauge what we can from him.

Apparently the shopping will be good.


	34. Chapter 34

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. **

**Chpt 33 The Fan and The Brown Stuff**

**BPOV**

"I think I should contact Rutilio." Jasper informs me out of the blue. "Pete agrees."

As we are snuggled up on the couch it takes me a few moments to struggle out of his arms, sitting up so I can look at him. "Why?"

"It'll buy us some time, openin' a dialogue with him."

"How will we get hold of him?" I ask, not at all happy with this idea.

"Edward."

"Great."

"Darlin' we might as well listen to what he has to say. We already think we know what he wants but we might be able to gauge how serious he is by talkin' to him."

"Jasper, he's going to want you to fight and eventually you're going to refuse. Where is it gonna go from there?"

He regards me silently.

Sighing I force my fears out into words. "If he's serious he'll make you. He'll use me, Pete an' Char. We're the only weaknesses you have."

"I'm not invincible Bella." He says quietly.

"I know that Jasper." I reach out my hand placing it on the side of his face. "And it terrifies me to think that something could happen to you. That you could be hurt or k-killed. And it makes me furious that someone might be prepared to use your family against you. And it makes me sad that my existence puts you in danger."

"Bella." Closing his eyes he leans into my hand. "I'm always in danger, I've been in danger my whole life. You make it worth it, you make it bearable. Darlin' you don't make it worse."

"What are we going to do Jasper?"

"We'll start by talkin' to Edward an' then we'll get in touch with Rutilio. Then we'll decide."

With a sigh he digs his cell out of his pocket and dials.

"Cullen residence."

"Hello Esme, it's Jasper, please may I talk with Edward?"

"Jasper! It's so nice to hear your voice. Are you well?"

"Yes, thank you Esme I am very well."

"And Bella? How is Bella Jasper?"

"I am well too thank you Esme. Very happy." I answer.

"I'm so glad and Bella, I'm very sorry about everything that has happened."

I shrug, not sure what to say.

"Edward?" Jasper prompts gently.

"Oh yes." Esme giggles. "Sorry. He isn't here Jasper, he and Alice left for South America a few days ago. Do you have his cell number?"

"Yes. Esme, why have Edward and Alice gone to South America?"

"I don't know Jasper. Edward spends a lot of time there since, well since Bella and I don't think Alice wanted him to be alone while he's so miserable. I think they both just needed a break."

"Thank you Esme, I will call Edward on his cell. Goodbye." Jasper ends the call with troubled eyes.

"Why would they go to South America?" I ask.

"I don't know darlin' but I hope they aren't messin' with Rutilio, he's a very dangerous man."

"Could they do anything to cause trouble for us?"

"I don't see how. He already knows I'm The Major. None of them know where we are, or Pete and Char for that matter. Unless . . . ."

"What?" I ask, my stomach sinking.

"Unless they tell him that you and I are mated, that would be very bad."

"Why?"

"Bella you already know the answer to that. The mating bond can't be broken, mates will do anything to protect or avenge each other. If you killed one in battle you always went after the other, too much risk leaving a survivor like that. If Rutilio knows that you are my mate then we're both potentially in a lot of trouble."

"They wouldn't tell him would they?"

He shrugs. "I don't know darlin' perhaps not deliberately. Edward's not happy he's lost you but he ain't vindictive."

"Fuck." I mutter. I really need to work on my vocabulary. "What do we do now?"

"Call Pete, tell him what we know and then hunt." Jasper laughs, the sound lifting my wilting spirits slightly. "I always think better on a full stomach."

Two hours later we're back at the house with me trying to keep myself quiet and occupied while Jasper thinks, I can almost hear the cogs whirring in his mind.

"I think we'll stick with Plan A for now." He announces suddenly, startling me out of my contemplation and pulling his cell out. "Let's call Edward an' find out what the fuck he's doin'."

Both of us are shocked when a different and preternaturally smooth voice answers. "Ah, Major. How very kind of you to call to discuss my proposition."

"You're stealin' phones now Rutilio?" Jasper snarls into the phone.

"My friend Eduardo is not here at the moment so I took the liberty of answering his phone for him and I am so very glad I did. I have been looking forward to your call."

"What do you want Rutilio?"

"Of course, let us get down to business, as you know I have a very successful operation running at present. We stage fights, large and small, for the edification of our kind. Everyone is entitled to get bored with immortality from time to time and a good fair fight is a chance for us to work off our natural aggression without causing too much trouble. We offer many options, one on one, groups, specific martial arts, matched gifts or specials. All of our fights are conducted under strict rules."

"That sounds nice" Jasper drawls "but I ain't interested in watchin' one. I've seen enough violence to last me a life time, I would have thought you have too."

"Yes Major, I understand you perfectly but a vampire must have a safe way to vent his frustrations and it is my pleasure to provide this service. We have many high profile followers of our programme and of course we often have very skilled fighters lacking a suitable opponent. Sadly it is a great _chore_ for me to provide these clients with _worthy _opposition."

"I'm sure it is."

"Major I will be honest with you. I have a very high profile client who has waited a very long time for me to find him a strong opponent and I think this particular client would be extremely pleased to be matched against_ you_."

"Rutilio I ain't interested in fightin' anyone. I'm old an' tired. I just wanna be left in peace."

I can hear chuckling down the phone. "Major, I mean no disrespect but I would hardly describe you as old or tired. Perhaps you are afraid?"

Jasper snorts and Rutilio chuckles again. "I didn't think so. There would be a very good pay day for this fight. Enough to set up a young coven for eternity."

"I got plenty of money an' very simple tastes."

"I am sure Major, I am sure." Rutilio laughs. "Well then, at least think about it for me? My client has been very patient and I am sure he would be very happy if you agreed."

"How will I contact you again?" Jasper asks.

"I am sure Eduardo will not mind if you contact me on his phone, he is not using it. But please Major, do not wait too long."

"Very well." Jasper hangs up. Standing an' beginning to pace. I watch him from the couch and I don't like what I'm seeing, it's as if The Major and Jasper are trying to share the space at the same time and I don't think it's healthy.

"We'd better ring Alice." He decides, dialling his phone again.

"Si, hola?" Jasper and I exchange surprised glances.

"Por favor, ¿puedo hablar con Alice" He asks the strange male voice.

"Yo no conozco a ninguna Alicia."

"¿De dónde sacaste su teléfono."

"Lo encontré en la basura."

"Donde se?"

"Rio de Janeiro." Click.

"What?" I demand impatience raging through me.

"Some randomer's got Alice's phone, he found it in the trash." He shrugs, pacing again.

"Does that mean something's happened to Alice and Edward? Has Rutilio's got them? Why?"

"I don't know, maybe he thinks he can use them against me." Another shrug.

"Can he?" I ask, curious.

He turns to me, his face hard. "No." He snaps resuming his pacing.

I wince. That's harsh. But what would I rather he did? Sacrifice one of us or himself to try to save them? I don't think so.

"So how serious do you think he is?" I want to know how bad he thinks this is.

"Very." Jasper mutters as he paces. "He kept mentionin' a client who was lookin' for a specific fight. That worries me, like he's already got somethin' lined up an' the only thing that's missin' is little ol' me."

"Do you know who it might be?"

He shrugs. "Not really. I can think of a couple but I'm quite young in this world an' there could be a lot people I don't know about."

"What couple?"

Sighing he stops pacing. I know I'm annoying him while he's trying to think but I need to understand what's going on. Opening up my mental shield I let him feel my love and my worry. Immediately he crosses the room lifting me up, gathering me in his arms and burying his face in my hair.

"Sorry darlin'." He whispers, taking a deep breath to steady himself before he continues. "There's a japanese guy I've heard of a few times, Chitose. An' then there's the one that really worries me, Caius Volturi."

"Royalty Volturi?"

"Yeah, one of the brothers. He's a mean son of a bitch with a reputation as bad as mine."

"Why would he want to fight?"

"Same reason as the others. He gets bored, he likes to remind people to be afraid of him. The Volturi approve of the fights. They keep our baser instincts away from the eyes of humans and they give them a chance to size people up, pick 'em out for the guard or to pick out the ones that might be trouble later."

"Oh." I can see how that wouldn't be good.

"Yeah," he runs a hand through his hair "oh."

"Fuck."

Jasper pulls away from me chuckling. "Darlin' we need to work on your swearin', you gotta have more than one word in your repertoire."

"Jasper" I scold "we've got eternity to work on my swearin'. Fuck is more than adequate for now."

"Darlin' I . . . ."

Jasper's phone rings.

"J!"

"Char?"

"Pete's gone. Iestyn's dead and Pete's gone, someone's taken him."

"Where are you?" We both ask at the same time.

"Illinois."

"Did you track him?"

"As far as I could, they were headin' south but then they got in a vehicle an' I lost the trail. They took Pete J."

Jasper takes another deep breath and The Major appears.

"Go north Charlotte. Go to the Cullens. Do not let anyone follow you. Be safe. Wait for us there. We're comin'. We'll get him back."

"Okay J" she sighs heavily "don't be long."

"We won't Char. We're leavin' now." The Major disconnects the call and turns his black eyes on me.

"Um, Jasper. How are we going to get to New Hampshire without me slaughtering the populace?"

"It's going to hurt." The Major tells me, his voice flat.

I swallow, hard. "Isn't there another way?"

"No."

Oh shit.

"We cannot trust that you will be able to hold your shield off long enough for me to keep you sedated on the trip. There isn't another way."

"I love you." I tell him, peeling back my shield so he can feel it.

"Mi corazón, mi cuerpo es tuyo." The Major responds.


	35. Chapter 35

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. **

**Chpt 34 Consequences of Deciding**

**BPOV**

Well this is different.

Dismemberment hurts like a motherfucker. And being able to _feel_ my limbs a few feet away from me is just about the creepiest thing ever. I can hear them as well, struggling and twitching in the bag if I was a human I would have passed out miles back. But I must admit there isn't a lot even a thirsty newborn can do with only one arm and one leg, on opposite sides of the body.

Jasper would be in tears if he could and even The Major's having a hard time dealin' with it. Obviously I've got my shield well and truly up, no way does Jasper need to feel what I'm feeling, it'll kill him.

Chalk it up as one more crime on Rutilio's slate. I fucking _hate_ that man.

I just want this journey to be over so I can fuse my limbs back on and feed. I've never felt so weak in my life, not even as a human. Venom loss is obviously a lot like blood loss an' I'm glad it's not my car we're in.

"Its 3am." Jasper breaks the tense silence. "Let's find somewhere to pull in so you can hunt."

A little later he pulls into the parking lot of a store on the edge of the forest, jumping out he tastes the air before fetching the duffle bag with my limbs in from the back of the truck.

Tenderly he helps me down onto the asphalt and opening the bag up sets my limbs back in place, licking around them with his tongue, helping them to fuse.

There is a brief flare of intense pain which quickly fades to a strong ache. I can't really describe the way it feels, to have your flesh, bones, sinews, muscles and nerves fuse back together. And the relief. Oh the relief.

Sighing I sit up, as weak as a kitten, flexing my arms and legs and wiggling my fingers and toes.

"Bella, darlin'." Jasper's voice is hoarse. "I wish there was another way. I am so sorry . . . . "

"Don't Jasper." I cut him off, placing my finger on his lips. "We've been through this, there was no other way."

And I know he was right. Even the scent of the humans that were here earlier in the day is enough to engulf my throat in flames.

Carefully he helps me change into fresh clothes.

"Are you ready to hunt?"

I nod and he helps me to my feet, supporting me as he leads me into the trees at the edge of the lot.

After a few minutes I am able to run and we head deeper into the forest. Finding a clearing Jasper settles me onto a rock and then flits off to catch me a meal.

As I suck down my deer greedily I can feel the ache increase as the blood helps my body heal faster.

"More." I whisper when I'm done.

"Bella." Jasper's voice is strained. "Darlin' I don't think I can do that to you again."

"I'm not lookin' forward to it Jasper but how else will we get to New Hampshire?"

"Its not far now darlin', if you don't have any more blood you should stay weak enough that I can keep you in the truck if anythin' happens."

"Are you sure?" I ask, while a voice in my mind screams at me to shut the fuck up. That is not an experience I wish to repeat in a hurry.

"I'm sure darlin'. Apparently I'm not as bad ass as I used to be."

"Okay." Determination creeps into my voice. "I can do this."

Jasper buries my deer then picks me up bridal style heading back to the truck.

"Jasper, maybe next time you could have your crisis of conscience before you rip my limbs off."

He chuckles. "I am sorry darlin' but I don't think we'd have made it this far with you in one piece."

"Humph."

He stiffens and slows.

"Someone's followin' us." He whispers. "I can feel their emotions."

"What are they feeling?"

"Triumphant." And. "Bella I need you to get up in that tree, put your shield up and stay there."

I nod.

"You understand the stay there part, right darlin'?"

I roll my eyes, pecking him on the lips and scaling the tree slowly, still weak and wondering how long I can keep my shield up for.

Beneath me The Major settles his hat over his eyes and waits.

After what feels like an age two vampires in suits creep into the clearing.

"Are you The Major?" The taller one asks.

The Major leaps forwards so fast he's even a blur to my eyes, decapitating the tall one neatly before turning on the second.

The small one backs up making a peaceable gesture with his hands.

"There are twenty of us here." He speaks quickly.

The Major grunts, stepping forwards and slamming his fist into the vampire's face, sending him flying into a tree. In the blink of an eye he's on the strange vampire, his strong hands around his throat.

"Where?" He snarls.

"All around you man, we were told not to take any chances."

Silently The Major crushes the vampire's neck turning his black eyes to mine.

We're in trouble and I'm too weak to help.

Quickly I leap out of the tree rushing into his arms, kicking the first vampire's head out of my way as I go.

"What do we do?" I whisper into his chest, so afraid my trembling legs are barely holding me up.

"I'm sorry darlin'." He murmurs into my hair. "We need to try an' run."

Taking my hand he leads us deeper into the forest, almost dragging me along in my weakened state but fear is a powerful motivator and I manage to keep up even though I can hear many sets of feet running around us.

Listening and calculating as we run he changes direction many times but each time I can still hear feet running around us. And this is familiar territory for me, surrounded by danger to people I care about and powerless to do anything about it. I don't need Jasper's empathic ability to feel his desperation. A knot of pain begins to form in my chest

Abruptly we burst into the parking lot where we left the truck, skidding to a halt on the wet asphalt.

Eight suited vampires and several SUVs are now waiting for us. The feet running behind us slow and stop.

I dare not turn around so my attention is on the vampires in front of me, one of whom I recognise as Gonzalo.

Several of them start to sag at the knees, groaning and my vampire hearing picks out the same sounds from some of those behind me. The Major is using his gift to try to incapacitate them but even I can see that there are too many. Too many.

Slowly and steadily they advance on us, those I can see and those I can hear behind me. The Major squeezes my hand and I drop my mental shield briefly, soaking up the love he is sending me and returning my own, rejecting the sorrow he's also feeling.

The Major drops my hand and steps forward, crouching in readiness. I bring up my physical shield, acutely aware that it won't last very long in my weakened state and fighting the futile urge to put it around Jasper. It'll just run out quicker and he won't be able to fight while he's in it.

There is a long and agonising pause.

And then suddenly I feel multiple impacts against my shield as a horde of vampires descend on Jasper, bouncing off me as they pass.

Screaming I drop it, wading into the melee grabbing, ripping and biting into anything I can. Almost instantly I feel two sets of strong hands grip me and tear me away, flinging me across the lot.

Immediately I bounce back up, hurling myself into the heaving, snarling mass of bodies. I scream in agony as I lose my right arm but I don't stop, my newborn instincts to rip and rend have completely taken over. I howl as teeth sink into my left shoulder, managing to flick my physical shield out briefly, slicing into my attacker.

Around me severed body parts are flying and vampires are cringing from the emotions that Jasper is throwing out but there are still too many.

Once again I am flung away from the fight, losing my left arm.

Weaker I still struggle to my feet again, stumbling forwards. My ears are filled with snarling growling and Jasper's furious roaring.

I watch in horror as the mass of vampires wrestle him to his knees.

His eyes meet mine and again I let myself feel his love and his sorrow as they rip his arms and legs from his body. The noise sounds like a nuclear explosion to me.

Screaming I stagger towards him but two vampires detach themselves from the fight and rush at me.

My shield is gone and they tear into me, removing my legs and biting into my neck.

"STOP!" A commanding voice orders.

I am dropped immediately.

"We have what we came for."

"What do we do with his bint?" Someone asks.

"Leave her." Gonzalo answers. "The master said to keep collateral damage to a minimum. Let's go."

Silently the vampires gather up their missing parts and start fusing them back.

I watch, too weak to move as they finish dismembering my mate, stuffing the pieces of his body into canvass holdalls and climbing into their stupidly shiny SUVs. No one even giving me a second glance.

And then, in a squeal of tires they are gone.

Slowly I crawl, drawn to my missing flesh. The pain is excruciating but nothing compared to the pain in my chest, Edward's ghost hole_ obliterated_ by the _crater_ of their departure with Jasper.

Jasper, those ungh, words fail me. They have taken my mate.

But for all their plotting and scheming they've made a fatal mistake that The Major would never have. They left his mate alive.

And. I. Will. Find. Him.

The sun is beginning to rise as I sit there, useless, waiting for my limbs and flesh to fuse back onto my hopelessly weak body. The whole process desperately slow when I should already be after them. Frustration.

An elderly sedan enters the lot, the occupant a young man I would have found attractive in my former life. Spotting me lying near the truck he trots over, concern written all over his face.

"Are you alright?" He asks bending over me and scrutinizing my appearance. "Jeez, I'll call an ambulance. And the police."

Delving into his pocket he pulls out his cell.

Jasper.

"I'm sorry." I whisper as I reach up and snap his neck.


	36. Chapter 36

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. **

**Chpt 35 The Major's Mate**

**BPOV**

My first slip and it wasn't even an accident. It was completely deliberate. I am a monster. I needed his blood to heal quickly.

Dry sobbin' I carry his body into the forest, burying it an' sayin' the best prayer I can. I have his ID an' I'll try to make some form of restitution later. It won't be enough, never enough for an innocent man.

His blood has restored my strength already.

Using his cell I punch out Char's number.

"Hello." She answers warily.

"Char its me. They've got Jasper."

"Fuck. Oh sugar, I'm sorry."

"I don't know where you are. I need you to come here."

"Where are you?" She asks.

"Pennsylvania." I give her the name of the next town on the highway. I can't stay here, the cops will come.

"I'll meet you there." Click.

Vibratin' with tension I return to the truck givin' the parkin' lot the once over for anything supernatural that shouldn't be there, satisfied I climb aboard and drive to the next town.

Humans are everywhere in the early morning but I find them surprisingly easy to ignore. I have fed on my natural food source and the only thing that interests me anyway is gettin' Jasper back. Obsessed. All I can see is Jasper's face in that moment before they ripped him apart an' all I can think of is that I promised that he wouldn't have to suffer like that again. He thinks I'm dead. Oh Jasper.

An interminable wait later I spot a huge jeep pullin' into the park entrance where I'm waitin' in the pourin' rain. Char in Em's jeep.

We fly together, huggin' each other tightly an' heavin' wrackin' sobs on each other's shoulders. Finally I release her an' fill her in on what happened, huggin' my chest so the chasm doesn't rip me apart.

"What are we going to do?" She asks.

"We're goin' after them." I tell her firmly. "What happened with the Cullens?"

"I didn't tell 'em anything just asked Em for his jeep. They're already in uproar over Alice an' Edward. When I left Carlisle was fixin' to get down to Rio to look for 'em."

"Just as long as they don't get in our way." I snarl.

"What are we goin' to do?" Char asks again.

"We're goin' to channel our inner Major. We're goin' to start in Kentucky and we're gonna kill every motherfucker, livin' or dead, that stands between us and our men."

Abandonin' the truck we pile into Em's jeep an' set off.

My impatience is almost a physical sensation an' I can't stop myself from bouncin' around in my seat as the jeep eats up the miles. Char's not much better.

We're screamin' down the highway in West Virginnia when a blue light appears behind us.

"Fuck." I yell in frustration as she pulls over, immediately I move to get out of the jeep.

Char puts a restrainin' arm on mine.

I growl at her as the cop approaches her door.

With a resigned sigh she releases my arm saying. "Pete was right about you, you are an awesome vampire. But sugar, you need to remember that you're also a person, whatever we do to get the boys back, we have to live with it afterwards."

"Char." I grit my teeth. "I know an' you're right. But I'm hangin' by a thread here. I have to get Jasper back an' then I'll spend eternity repentin' if I have to."

"Chill out sugar." She whispers. "I'll handle it."

I clamp my jaw shut an' stop breathing.

"Evenin' officer." She drawls, southern charm on full blast, shoulders back and centrefold chest on prominent display.

The officer leans in, smelling her breath just as I would have once done. "Evening ladies. You two were going a bit fast back there."

"I'm sorry sir." She indicates me, frozen in my seat. "My little sister's not well and I'm just trying to get her home."

The cop regards me critically an' I manage to summon up a very realistic whimper.

"Well then" he says, a smile spreadin' on his face "I appreciate your concern for her welfare but killing her in a car wreck isn't gonna make her feel any better is it? Slow down."

"Yes sir." Char answers sounding contrite.

Pattin' the side of the jeep he walks away gettin' back in his cruiser but waitin' for us to pull away first.

Char pats my arm as I start growlin' again. Thankfully he only follows us for a few miles before pullin' off into a nearby town. As soon as he does Char puts her foot down again with a growl of her own.

Several hours later we reach Kentucky, dumping Em's jeep in the first National Park lot we find an' settin' off on foot.

The cave network here is massive and I can't help but be afraid that we'll be searchin' for the right entrance forever. However thanks to Pete and Char's earlier detective work she's got a fairly good idea where to start lookin' an' it's only a few hours before we cross the scents of many vampires comin' an' goin' in one area. None of the scents belong to Jasper or Pete but we have to start somewhere.

Cautiously we creep up to a vantage point where we can scope out the entrance, careful to keep downwind and off the well used vampire trails. We watch for a while but there is no movement.

"What do we do now?" Char whispers eventually.

I stare into her eyes helplessly. I don't know. I'm not The Major. Nothin' in my life has prepared me for sneakin' into a cave system full of unfriendly vampires to look for my kidnapped mate. I'm no military genius but I'm guessin' that wanderin' in the front door makin' largely empty threats isn't gonna get the result I'm lookin' for.

"Sugar." Char places her hands on my shoulders, leanin' her forehead against mine. "I don't have Pete's gift but I know you can do this. I ain't no leader but I know how to fight. You're The Major's Mate sugar that had to a happened for a reason. Its time to have faith in you."

I nod. There's nobody to save Jasper and Pete except us. We have to be enough. I have to be enough.

"We need to find another way in." I decide.

Silently we sneak away into the undergrowth scourin' the rocks for another entrance into the caves below us.

About 500 yards away we find a much smaller openin' through which we can still scent vampire activity. _Much_ smaller.

I hesitate an' Char chuckles. "You ain't claustrophobic are ya sugar?"

"I didn't think I was. Oh well, here goes. When we get inside stay close to me, my shield can keep our scent hidden fairly effectively."

She raises her eyebrow at me an' I shrug. Pete an' Char haven't seen the results of Jasper and I workin' on my shield.

Down on my hands an' knees I start wrigglin' down the rabbit hole, Char followin' behind. In a couple of places the shaft is too narrow for us to pass through, not a problem for a vampire, careful not to make too much noise or drop us suddenly into another tunnel or cavern I use my fingers to crush the rock into fine powder. It isn't as bad as I expected, the dark doesn't bother me with my new vision an' I'm learnin' to live with the bugs.

Burrowing gives me plenty of time to think. If they are here, please let them be here, they aren't likely to be together, too dangerous I would have thought. So we should probably find Pete first, I'm guessin' they took him to use against The Major an' since we're probably gonna need The Major to get out alive we'd better make sure we're all together when we try. I'm not really sure how you hold a vampire against his will but with my recent experiences I'm guessin' that keepin' 'em weak is the way to go.

Jasper's face in the parkin' lot, all hope lost. It takes all my control not to howl like a wild animal. Immediately white hot fury courses through me an' I have to stop diggin' for a moment.

"What's happenin'?" Char's worried voice floats down from behind me.

I take a couple of deep breaths.

"Sorry Char." I grind out through gritted teeth. "I believe I am experiencin' the phenomenon know as goin' postal. I'll be alright, I need a minute to calm down."

Continuing to take deep breaths I feel my eyes slowly darken, like a shutter comin' down. Okay, icy rage, I can work with icy rage.

We set off again and a few minutes later weak electric light suffuses my vision. Pressing my eye to the narrow opening I see that we're in a crack just off a large smooth tunnel, electric lights strung from the ceiling. Just across the tunnel to the right is a very banal lookin' grey door with a simple sign on it, Security. I can smell an' hear a vampire in the room but nothin' else fresh along the tunnel in either direction.

Wonderin' if we've stumbled on the vampire equivalent of a Bond villain's lair I quickly enlarge the hole until I can drop through, Char follows me silently.

Carefully we both scent the air before noddin' and flittin' across the tunnel into the room.

A bald muscular vampire is sittin' in a chair watchin' security monitors,, he looks up startled as we burst through the door, Char in the lead.

To my surprise he laughs. "Hello ladies. Its not that I don't appreciate female company but I'm afraid guests aren't allowed in this part of the complex. Did you get lost?"

"We sure did." Char giggles, the vixen. "Can you show us the way back?"

"It'll be my pleasure." He smiles risin' to his feet.

Which is unfortunate because that's when he catches sight of my black and probably distinctly unfriendly lookin' eyes.

"Um, lady." He mutters, lookin' confused an' a little worried. "I don't know what your problem is and I don't want to hurt you so lets just calm down okay."

I snort droppin' into a slight crouch. "Don't worry about me I ain't a lady. I'm The Major's Mate."

Comprehension dawns on his face an' his eyes briefly flick to one of the security monitors.

Big Mistake. Big Fatal Mistake an' I'm on him before he even realises.

Quickly Char and I stuff his body parts in various cupboards and boxes around the room.

"How long until he puts himself back together an' becomes a problem again."

"Too long for us to worry about sugar, if we're still here when that happens we're pretty much fucked anyway."

I nod and we turn our attention to the monitors, Char hoppin' into the chair an' playin' the equipment like a maestro.

There seem to be two parts to the complex. Large open areas includin' two amphitheatres an' what look like trainin' rings. The other parts are like the tunnel we're in far more spartan and utilitarian and that's where we find cells and holdin' pens with terrified humans in. We spot at least twenty vampires movin' about in various places.

Grimly Char flips through the system bringin' up a map which we both memorise quickly.

And then we turn our attention back to the monitors. In one of the cells is Pete, lyin' on a cot chained to the wall, limbs intact but clearly weak from lack of blood.

He's bein' guarded.

In another we find Jasper. Also intact an' hangin' from chains in the cavern roof, his bare feet barely touchin' the floor. His shirt gone an' his jeans in tatters. Even in black an' white I can tell how starved he is. His head hangin' down, his body limp an unmovin'.

Both of us are growlin' but it's me that's strugglin' with my towerin' rage. There's so much of it I can barely keep it in my body. It's like an explosion waitin' to go off inside me an' take everyone else out with it.

Instinct wants me to rush out into the corridor an' run for his cell, killin' anyone who gets in my way but The Major's Mate is made of sterner stuff.

Gradually I get myself under control. Wastin' precious time, but vital.

"Let's get Pete an' get him fed. Then we'll get The Major."

Char leaps to her feet.

"How do we turn this stuff off?" I ask "We don't want anyone usin' it to watch us."

Rollin' her eyes an' grinnin' Char reaches out with her toe and kicks the plug out of the wall.


	37. Chapter 37

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. **

**Chpt 36 The Caves**

**BPOV**

Stickin' together like glue the two us make our way through the rock tunnels and caverns to the location of Pete's cell. Thankfully this part of the complex seems to be deserted at present.

As we near the location we can smell Pete an' his guard. Just one. No other scents.

Peerin' around the corner we can see that the cell is in fact just a curve carved into the wall of a small natural cavern. The light here is much dimmer than in the tunnels an' the walls are dark and streaked with moisture. It's like a fuckin' dungeon.

Deciding to use the same approach as before we saunter into the room as if we have every right to be there.

The guard, a small ginger vampire is doin' a standard immobile vampire impression, arms folded an' standing in the middle of the floor.

Hearing our footsteps he whirls to face us.

"Who are you?" He demands. Dropping his arms an' crouchin'.

"Trouble." I answer, punching him in the face. Oh that felt good. I need to do that more often when I'm angry.

Astonished that such a tiny kitten like vampire could pack such a wallop he staggers back a couple of paces.

As he tries to regain his balance Char an' I are on him. Rippin' him to pieces before he can scream.

Pantin' heavily Char leaves him for me to finish off and runs over to Pete yankin' his chains out of the wall and droppin' to her knees beside his cot.

"Hey baby." He croaks, lifting a weak hand to stroke her hair as she rests her head on his shoulder. "I missed ya. The fuckin' entertainment here is shit."

Laughin' and sobbin' in equal measure she hugs him so tight I can hear his bones creak.

"Easy love." He winces. "Ole Petey's a bit sore."

"Come on." I urge. "Lets get Pete fed an' find Jasper."

Liftin' Pete to his feet Char an' I help him through the tunnels to the holdin' cells which are located in a fair sized cavern with a thick heavy blast door.

I keep watch in the tunnel just outside the closed door while Char helps him feed, tryin' very hard to block out the sound of screamin' an' hopin' that the blast door muffles it enough to stop it travellin' through the tunnels.

A few minutes later we set off again, Pete quickly regainin' his strength an' castin' sideways glances at me.

There is no guard on Jasper's cave and straight away we can see why. He doesn't look like he's ever goin' to move again, the sight of him is so much worse in color than it was on the monitor. It's almost more than I can bear.

"Jasper." I sob, lurchin' forwards.

No response.

"Jasper?" Gently I lift his head so that I can look at him. "Jasper, darlin'. Can you hear me?"

His eyes are closed, his long blonde lashes lying against his smooth cheeks.

Trying to keep calm I lift his hair, smoothin' it back from his forehead and tuckin' it behind his ears. The silky texture is gone, its stiff with dried venom.

"Jasper."

Very slightly he shakes his head, no strength in his neck only my hands holdin' up his head.

I press my lips to his softly an' I open up my mental shield pushin' all my love and relief at him.

He shudders slightly and then sighs. But he doesn't open his eyes and he doesn't move.

I kiss him again. "I love you." I whisper, resting my lips against his.

"Bella." Pete's voice gets my attention. "We got company."

Releasin' Jasper's head gently an' turning I find five smirking vampires filing into the cavern, lining up opposite us.

Smirking.

"Something funny?" I ask coldly, raising my eyebrow.

"You're a sweet little rescue party. Cute." One of them steps forwards slightly. "I told Gonzalo we should have killed you in Pennsylvania. You might have got away with your rescue too if we hadn't come down to have our hourly chat with The Major."

"He's not very talkative at the moment." I inform him, signalling Pete an' Char with my eyes to get behind me.

"He never is." My new friend has a nasty laugh. I don't like it. "But he'll open up eventually, they always do with a little _persuasion_. Might even speed things up having you here."

Pete an' Char complete their move standin' between my back an' Jasper.

Once again I revel in my new brain. Here I am holding an actual conversation when I'm so full of rage its astonishing I can still function. And plan. Is this how The Major feels?

"Have you been _torturing_ him?" I ask conversationally.

"I might have, just a little bit." He smirks.

Impossibly I feel my eyes darken even more, they must be black empty pools to match The Major's by now.

Taking a deep breath I focus on the crystal clear image of _my_ Jasper being brought to his knees in the parking lot.

And I smile. A sadistic smile.

And I let out a roar so ferocious it would have frightened me on any other occasion. At the same time I release my physical shield slamming the five smirking bastards into the far wall so hard they imbed themselves a couple of inches. The walls and floor of the cavern shake, dust falling down from the roof like light rain.

With identical howls of rage Pete, Char and I charge them. I go straight for my new friend surprising myself by tearing his head clean off his shoulders in one move. Shriekin' like a banshee I toss it away, leaping onto my next victim.

The fight is over before it gets started. Apparently you can stun a vampire if you throw him into something hard enough.

Turning back from the carnage I find The Major staring at me with those empty black eyes. Time stands still.

"Jasper?" I whisper.

"I don't think J's at home to callers at the moment Ma'am." Pete interrupts our starin'. "We should feed The Major an' get the fuck out of here. As much I enjoyed your little display I reckon they probably heard it an' felt it in Alaska."

"Get him down while I fetch him something. And start a fuckin' fire. We might as well let them know we won the first round."

"Yes Ma'am."

Sprinting I head back to the holdin' cells pausin' outside the door. Hatin' myself I summon up the image of Jasper in the parkin' lot again and my icy rage carries me through the door. Through the process of selectin' two humans an' snappin' their necks. And through the journey carryin' 'em back to The Major. I will be sorry later, right now I don't have the time or the emotional energy, it's not like they could ever have been allowed to leave alive anyway.

Pete an' Char have The Major on the floor near the entrance, a ragin' fire further back in the cave.

I drop the bodies in front of them, turning to watch the tunnel as the purple smoke curls up it.

After a few moments a hand drops onto my shoulder.

"Char an' I'll watch Ma'am." Pete says. "You help your mate."

Noddin' gratefully I change places with Char quickly, supporting The Major while he clutches weakly at his first meal, drainin' it steadily. Within minutes he pushes the body away himself, reaching for the second while I rub circles on his back with my palm inadvertently feelin' his new scars. My icy rage hasn't dissipated in the slightest an' now it tightens a little more.

"I hope you're nearly finished Major." Pete's voice is low an' urgent. "Company is comin'."

He gets a low menacin' growl in response.

"I don't think he's gonna like it if someone disturbs his dinner." Pete comments to no one in particular.

Almost immediately I can hear running feet approaching through the tunnels and a low growl of my own joins The Major's.

He lifts his head, locking his black eyes with mine and I know he understands what is happening. We are mates. We are the same.

He rises to his feet, holding out his hand and helping me up. Still holding hands we step in front of Pete an' Char, facing down the tunnel.

The running feet materialise into six vampires who skid to an abrupt stop when they spot The Major on the loose. Stood to his full height, eyes black, nostrils flared, bloodied teeth bared an' battle scars shinin' all over his body.

He snarls an' I almost laugh when one of their number drops off the back of the group and scuttles away.

"Hello." I smile brightly, a strange sensation on my face when I can feel it doesn't reach my black eyes. "Can we help you with somethin'?"

They blink and with a bellow of rage The Major charges up the tunnel with Pete, Char an' I hot on his heels.

"We just follow him." Pete observes casually. "An' pick off anythin' he misses."

This works amazingly well until we reach the upper levels where the amphitheatres are. There are ten vampires, including Gonzalo waitin' for us. Different tactics will be required.

We come to a stop in the centre of one of the arenas facing them. A fire already burnin' there. Our turn to be sent a message.

"Major." Gonzalo's voice is malicious. "My master will be disappointed to learn that you have declined his hospitality."

Silence.

"Your coven has killed a lot of my men."

The Major shrugs, a sneer appearing on his face. At the same time Gonzalo an' the four vampires on his right start to sag an' groan. Of course, divide an' conquer. I flash my physical shield out into the five on the left, flinging them backwards against the rocks seats of the amphitheatre. It sounds like an earthquake, marble bodies crashin' into stone, rock shards an' dust cascadin' down from the roof.

The Major winks at me launching himself forward an' together the four Whitlocks attack taking on a stunned vampire each while _he _deftly uses two to take out each other.

Grimly we toss body parts into the fire, sending it climbing towards the ceiling while The Major watches the five remainin' vampires impassively.

Finished we rejoin him in the centre of the arena.

"Gonzalo is a skilled fighter and his ass mine." He informs us. "I may not be able to keep the others subdued."

"We'll cope." Pete responds, rubbin' his hands together. "Won't we ladies?"

Char an' I nod.

The Major spares me a small smile before turnin' back to Gonzalo.

"I have a bone to pick with you." He informs him, voice low an' hard. "You attacked my mate. You attacked my family."

He tilts his head to the side lookin' Gonzalo up and down consideringly before straightening it again an' rollin' his shoulders. "This makes me very . . . . _Angry_."

An' abruptly all hell breaks loose. The Major and Gonzalo crash into each other, snarling viciously, flippin' and grapplin' with each other. They knock down two of the still lethargic vampires like skittles. At first I feel a twinge of concern as it seems to my untrained eye that despite the size difference, The Major is a head taller than Gonzalo, they are quite evenly matched. It soon becomes obvious however that The Major is almost playin' with his adversary, _enjoyin'_ himself in fact. Gonzalo obviously is a skilled fighter, his attacks are ferocious but controlled while The Major concentrates on defendin' himself and gettin' in a good blow whenever the other makes a mistake. But gradually Gonzalo starts to make more an' more mistakes, the expression on his face slipping from determination to desperation as the fight goes on. Eventually he makes a mistake bad enough for The Major to rip his arm off. Flippin' it over in his hand The Major stalks forward clearly intendin' to use it on its owner.

"Ladies." Pete's voice breaks into my fascinated observation. "I hate to spoil the spectacle but the lethargic _uglies_ are startin' to wake up. Time to go to work."

The uglies are indeed comin' for us.

Incapacitating my first attacker relatively easily I whip my eyes up lookin' for The Major. He an' Gonzalo are higher up the tiers of the amphitheatre still battling. As I watch The Major's fist flashes out _literally_ punchin' through Gonzalo's middle an' almost rippin' out his spine.

Satisfied I turn back to the action around me but that moment's inattention has cost me dearly. Just as I look up the vampire Pete's punched flies backwards, tumblin' into me an' knockin' me screamin' into the fire.


	38. Chapter 38

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. **

**Chpt 37 Escape?**

**BPOV**

The last thing I see before the flames close over my head like the petals of a lethal flower is another group of vampires chargin' into the amphitheatre.

Oh fuck, I'm going to die. I am terrified an' yet strangely at peace. At least Jasper will survive.

With an enormous whump the fire catches around my shield burning brightly and intensely, like magnesium in contact with air. It feels hot an' I can hear it sizzle but it doesn't touch me. The roaring flames reach the roof spreading out like enormous tentacles and then come crashing back down to the floor of the cave devourin' everything they touch. Vampires run shoutin' from the reachin' fire, others scream in agony as the flames catch them.

Vaguely, across the space, I can make out my family protected an' mercifully away from the flames. Pete an' Char are wide eyed but The Major is watchin' me intently, _his_ eyes narrowed.

It is over so quickly that I don't think anyone but me an' perhaps The Major actually realised what happened. I finish my tumble through the flames an' land in a heap on the other side, gaspin' while the fire snaps back in on itself.

In a flash The Major is by my side helpin' me to my feet.

"That was careless." He observes, shaking his head in disappointment.

I nod, shaken to my core.

"We are leaving." He commands, taking my hand. "Now."

The four of us set off up the ramp leading to the surface tunnels, meeting no one until we get outside. In the clearing outside four vampires, one of whom is the scuttler from the lower levels, are nervously waitin' for us. I shield scuttler, usin' it to push him off to one side, hopin' that the others won't notice him. They don't.

"Are you the last stand?" The Major asks the remainin' three, amusement evident in his voice.

The centre vampire nods cautiously.

"Fair enough." The Major shrugs. "Who wants to go first?"

"Um, sir" centre vampire says shakily "is it alright if we all go together?"

"Makes no difference to me son. Take your best shot."

I roll my eyes. He's obviously feelin' better an' a lot more talkative than usual.

Nothin' happens.

The Major turns an' winks at me again. Is it massively wrong that my panties are wet?

Facing back to the front he suddenly raises his hands an' shouts "BOO!"

I've never seen vampires move so fast. The three of them are out of hearin' range before the last echo has reverberated back from the trees surrounding us.

Pete starts laughin' first an' soon the three of us are howlin' with mirth, watched over by The Major, arms folded across his chest an' a small smile tuggin' at the corner of his lips.

"When you're finished." He says calmly. "Pete and I should bring down that entrance."

Still laughin' Pete hauls himself up and joins The Major in the tunnel.

"You okay sugar?" Char asks as we settle ourselves onto the damp grass and breathe in the cool night air.

I nod. My rage is leakin' out of me like air out of a punctured tyre an' I can feel my eyes slowly returnin' to their natural color. Currently burgundy. But lets not go there yet.

She throws her arm over my shoulder giving me a squeeze. "You did good sugar. Real good. Thank you."

"I'm worried about Jasper." I admit quietly.

"Sugar he'll be okay." She gives me another squeeze. "The Major is still in charge at the minute, give him some time, as soon as we're away from here an' safe I'm sure he'll start gettin' back to normal. I've never seen it before but Pete's told me that when shit's particularly bad The Major hangs around for a lot longer."

She is quiet for a moment before whisperin'. "Sugar, I imagine J thought you were dead, like I did Pete. It probably just about broke him, he loves you so much. He'll need your help to get over that an' it's not like we're out of the woods yet. He's ya mate an' he's a vampire, you're gonna need to be patient with him. You might find some of his behaviour over the next few days a bit _weird_."

I raise my eyebrow.

"He hasn't bitten you yet has he?"

"He has, he changed me."

"Oh sugar." She chuckles, pulling down her t-shirt to show me the bite mark on her neck. "Mates mark each other. You're mark was erased when you changed. Don't get me wrong, in a way you're marked because it's his venom that runs in your veins. But mates usually bite each other to, er, mark their territory leavin' a permanent scar."

"Why hasn't he done that already?" I ask, equal parts appalled an' rejected.

"Because it was dangerous under the circumstances I guess or the situation never arose." She smirks. "But I bet that'll change now he's, er, nearly lost you."

I digest that bit of information for a moment before asking. "Char, why haven't I wanted to bite him?"

"Well sugar, you're still very young." Her smirk grows wider an' she nudges me. "But maybe the next time you an' J are intimate the _urge_ will come over you."

"Won't it hurt?" I ask, rememberin' the burn of foreign venom in a bite.

She chuckles, low an' dirty. "Sugar, I think you'll find that's part of the fun, when you're mates."

The Major and Pete return, an' Char throws me a smile before launchin' herself into Pete's arms.

I look up at The Major shyly, he's not an affectionate persona but I really need a hug right now.

Silently he pulls me into his arms, crushing me against his chest an' breathin' in my scent.

I sigh. My relief so big an' so solid I can almost chew on it.

"Report." The Major orders, releasin' his hold on me slightly an' turnin' us to face Pete.

"I met Iestyn in a bar as arranged." Pete begins. "Turned out to be a good call because he was a mother lode of information. As we suspected The Volturi have been big supporters of the fights, Iestyn's even seen Caius Volturi at a few of the death matches, vicious fucker. Apparently ol' Caius has been buggin' Rutilio to find him a worthy match so he can have a go himself. Anyways, according to Iestyn Rutilio's vanity got the better of him a few months ago an' he told Caius that you were still alive an' he knew where to find you. Ol' fucker's dead excited so the gossip goes, an' he's been givin' Rutilio an increasingly hard time about not comin' up with the goods. Iestyn was gonna head down to Rio to see if he could find out what was goin' on.

When we came outta the bar six vampires jumped us an' carted us off into the woods. Tore us up an' then burnt Iestyn, they must have been followin' one of us. I'll miss that crazy Welsh fucker even if I could barely understand a word he fuckin' said."

"Did he know anything about Edward and Alice?" The Major asks.

"No, he thought the same as us. If they went down there pokin' their noses in they're probably dead an' if they went to drop you in it then they're probably dead too. Rutilio's the kinda asshole who don't tolerate other assholes gladly. What could they have told him or offered him anyway?"

The Major rolls his black eyes to me an' then back to Pete.

"I don't think so." Pete shakes his head. "If they knew about Bella they'd never have left her behind when they took you."

The Major nods slowly.

"I don't know very much about this Volturi stuff." I pipe up. "But if Caius Volturi is pressurin' Rutilio does this mean that he isn't going to give up on us?"

"Yes." The Major shrugs indifferently. "He'll be a lot more scared of the power of The Volturi than he will comin' after us again. That'll potentially make him desperate and what's happened here will make him more cautious."

Desperate? If he's prepared to kidnap an' torture Jasper and Pete to get what he wants what the hell else is he capable of?

The four of us are wearin' identical frowns.

"I could agree to the fight." The Major suggests after a short silence.

"NO!" The rest of us shout at once.

"That's a fuckin' stupid idea an' you know it!" Pete spits out. "Even if you win, an' there ain't no guarantee you will, you won't be allowed to just walk away from killin' a Volturi prince."

"If The Major is gone then you might all be safe." The Major shrugs.

None of us are prepared to dignify that with a response.

"What happens if we go after Rutilio?" I ask to take my mind off the dangerous temptation to punch The Major in the kidneys.

He shrugs again. "It's a possibility but at the moment we don't have enough intel to take on something like that, it would be too risky."

"Would Caius still come after us?" Char asks. "If Rutilio were gone?" Neither she nor I are averse to goin' down to Rio and kickin' Rutilio's ass.

"He might." Pete considers. "From what I know he doesn't like to be thwarted in gettin' what he wants. What we don't know is how many other people an' who, know what Rutilio knows."

"So" Char says slowly "you're sayin' we're probably fucked?"

Silence.

"Well." Pete observes, still wrapped around Char. "We still got lots to talk about but under the circumstances I vote we just go home. If the end is gonna come then its gonna fuckin' find me at home with my family."

"Agreed." The Major responds curtly.

As we turn to leave I lock eyes with the scuttler in his hidey hole, my eyes briefly flashin' black again before I release him.


	39. Chapter 39

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. Lemon.**

**Chpt 38 Together**

**BPOV**

The journey back to Montana was uneventful marked only by the slow change in The Major's eyes an' demeanour as Jasper returned.

He an' I hunted several times on the way back, animals of course. The taste is disappointin' I must admit but I'd still rather drink an animal than a person and so would Jasper.

I am still worried about him, at the moment I think that The Major's got more personality than Jasper and that is _really_ saying somethin'. I want _all_ of my wonderful man back but I'm not naïve enough to think that I can wave a magic wand an' make everythin' okay. He thought I was dead an' of course he blames himself, I think it nearly broke him. I keep my sadness locked deeply away inside me, I want a happy Jasper back desperately because if this all goes wrong I could lose him forever an' we don't have much time. I am so scared, I'm not accustomed to takin' risks and this is a fuckin' big one.

When we finally get to the ranch the familial love I've been feelin' for Pete vanishes quickly. He still doesn't trust me an' he's had the horses moved to livery. Ungrateful pig of a brother, I was lookin' forward to ridin' with Jasper it's one of my most vivid human memories because he was so at ease an' so happy.

On the trip back we'd spent more time talking about our predicament an' options. At the moment the others are favourin' going down to South America an' findin' Rutilio. Pete calls is Project Going Down in a Blaze of Glory, stupid fucker. We're also preparing for Rutilio to follow us here, in force, Project Dyin' at Home. On one thing we are all agreed. We're a family and coven, whatever happens will happen to all of us.

Pete an' Char have gone to hunt and so I'm lying up on the roof starin' at the stars and choking on my thoughts while I wait for Jasper to get back from runnin' a perimeter. While they're gone Jasper an' I have a lot to do. We need to talk an' we have a lot of lovin' to catch up on.

Finally I hear him return.

"How's the roof darlin'?" He calls up as he enters the yard.

"Not as comfortable as the last one but I'll deal."

He chuckles "I'm goin' in the shower, be out in a minute." A moment later I hear his boots thunderin' on the stairs.

Standin' I flip myself off the roof executing a perfect triple summersault and follow him up to our room, pacing impatiently while he showers.

He emerges after a few minutes lookin' every inch the perfect man he is, a small towel wrapped around his hips and a smile on his face.

"Jasper, I . . . ."

Stepping forwards he places his finger to my lips. "Bella. I know what you did an' I know why. We can talk about it later."

I look deep into his eyes an' sigh. Jasper coma. Nothing but us and this moment.

He moves forwards again so our bodies are just touching and leans down placin' his lips softly on mine. The contact is like a shot of powerful aphrodisiac, my arms whip around his bare back pulling him to me. He deepens the kiss, fisting his hands into my hair and owning my eager mouth with his tongue.

Instinctively I try to climb up his hard body, wanting to wrap myself around him.

Releasin' my hair he eases me gently away, both of us trembling with desire an' emotion.

"I thought you were dead." He whispers, his voice thick with pain. "I thought you were dead. Oh god darlin' it was the worst moment of my life, there aren't words to describe it."

I nod against his chest tracin' the scar over his heart with my tongue. I know exactly how he felt and what he's feelin' now but we're not sharing with his gift, it's too raw and that only increases my pain an' anger. We're hidin' things from each other an' even though we both know what an' why that really _hurts_.

"I can't do this anymore." He breathes. "I can't ever go through that again."

My dead heart constricts.

"What ever we do . . . ." I begin raisin' my head.

"We do it together." He finishes lookin' down into my eyes. "I love you."

"Jasper . . . ."

"Tonight is mine." He interrupts gently. "_You_ are mine."

And he grabs me, strong hands wrapping around my hips, pushing, almost shoving me, up against the bedroom wall. My insides flip, a scant while ago I would've felt swept as if by a hurricane, surprised at finding myself somewhere I didn't expect to be. But now I can appreciate his raw power an' I embrace it, the rush, the adrenalin that just heightens my _need_ for him and almost leaves me beggin'.

My shield is down an' he feels the lust an' need I'm feelin', favourin' me his low, dirty, sexy chuckle. "Don't you worry darlin', I got this."

And I know he does.

He traces his fingers back up from my hips to my neck. Trailing those long, strong fingers down from my throat to my shoulders, my collarbones. His thumbs, oh god those fuckin' thumbs, find the little dents on my chest and press into them. So soft an' so hard at the same time. His tongue pushes into my willing mouth again an' I kiss him back with everythin' I've got, melting against him, a powerless vampire.

His fingers trace, infuriatingly slowly, to the neck of my t-shirt an' his mouth follows, plantin' slow, soft kisses along the hem, catching up with his hands.

"Take it off" I beg, desperate to feel his skin against mine "oh god, Jasper, please . . . . "

He laughs, low an' dirty again as he drops his hands to the bottom of my shirt and reverses their direction, taking the unwelcome fabric back over my head, revealing my breasts and stiffening nipples. He moans, betrayin' his lust for me. His mouth drops before his hands can even find me, forming his mouth in a perfect 'O' and forming a seal around my small nipple. He takes it in his mouth, suckin' gently, and my hands involuntarily fly to the back of his head, my fingers buryin' themselves in his silky hair.

"No darlin'" He chides, trapping my hands with his long fingers and lifting them, pressin' my wrists to the wall way above my head as he continues to work my nipples with his mouth, sucking, pullin', biting so softly, I moan.

His hands trace back down my arms, stroking my skin. So slow, so precise, running lines from the tip of my fingers, over my forearms, softly defined biceps, shoulders, collarbones, cleavage…past his hungry mouth and straight over my stomach to the waistband of my jeans. Unbuckling, unbottoning, unexpectedly urgent. Oh, god, I can feel the heat growing, intensifying under his touch.

In a single swift movement, my jeans and my panties are tugged from their rightful position to my knees. Exposed I'm suddenly aware of how wet I am.

"Bella" He groans into me as I shift toward him unconsciously. "Darlin', I thought I'd lost you. I thought I'd never kiss you, touch you, fuck you again."

"Jasper" I moan.

He scoops me up in his arms carryin' me swiftly over to the bed an' lowerin' me down so he can bend over me an' remove the rest of my clothes. I couldn't have walked, I lost control of my knees with that first kiss.

Lightly his thumbs trace between my soft wet folds.

Gazing into my eyes he moves his hands to his own body, across his sculpted, perfect chest. My unnecessary breath catches in my throat, he's so beautiful, how did I get here? Moving his hands to his own hips across that perfect V he hooks his thumbs into the towel and pulls it off. Every part of him is beautiful.

He continues to gaze down at me, echoin' my own thoughts as he murmurs. "You're so fuckin' beautiful, darlin'." Wrapping his hands around my thighs he pushes them apart, groaning as he reveals me. My answerin' moan is all I am capable of at this point.

Leaning in, his tongue finds me before his mouth. Just the tip at first, running up first one side of my wet flesh an' then the other.

"Jasper" I gasp as his tongue pushes between my folds, my hips buckin' involuntarily.

His mouth finds my clit, swollen and throbbing. He takes it in, sucking so softly before his tongue flattens and begins to massage me and soon I'm moaning an' pushing up toward him. Pressing his face in he moves his tongue, pushing it in to me, deeper than I thought he could. My back arches as if drawn by a cord and he begins to lap between my aching folds, his hands softly squeezing and massaging my breasts. His tongue darting into me and out, in and out, and then back to work over my swollen clit has me gasping and speaking in tongues.

"Jasper . . . . oh . . . . fuck . . . . god . . . . want . . . . love . . . ."

He raises his head his tongue trailing over my stomach while his hands move lazily down. His fingers snake between my spread thighs, across my heated wet skin, and then push into me before I even know what's happening.

I gasp, my back pulled taut on its string again, my heels diggin' into the bed.

He responds by bitin' down on my achin' nipple, his free hand risin' to roll the other almost roughly between his fingers.

"Jasper." I moan again.

Rising up he looks down at me as withdraws his fingers from me. His eyes black an' his face almost twisted with the desire that I can feel washin' like an electric current across my skin.

Slowly and deliberately he sucks each one into his mouth, lickin' them clean an' groaning.

"I want you." He says, voice deep an' rumblin' in his chest.

Sittin' back on his heels he lifts me effortlessly so that I am almost straddling him, our noses touchin' our eyes locked.

"I want you." He repeats in a monotone.

Reaching down I take his hard cock in my hand, massagin' it firmly an' makin' him growl low in his throat before guidin' him to my entrance an' slidin' slowly down on him until he's fully sheathed inside me.

Without breaking our intense eye contact we begin to grind into each other, our arms wrapped around one another our lips brushin, our breathin' turning rapidly to synchronised pants. My muscles grippin' him as he moves inside me, his body pressing against mine, skin to skin, a fine coatin' of our mingled lust lubricatin' our bodies where sweat would have done if we were still human.

"Bella." He moans, droppin' his hands to my hips an' settin' the rhythm of our bodies moving together. His lips finding my neck, sucking and biting on it gently as my head falls back exposing my throat.

I'm startin' to burn as he moves within me, his fingers diggin' into my ass and his thumbs rubbin' circles on my hip bones.

Groanin' he raises one hand to the back of my head lifting it up so our eyes can meet again before crashing his lips into mine in a deep kiss filled with raw need. Our mouths moving together in time with our bodies, the pace increasin' steadily as the pressure builds.

"Oh god Bella . . . . darlin' . . . . you feel so fuckin' good . . . ." He whispers urgently into my mouth. I can only moan back, beyond words as my body starts to tighten, muscles twitchin' the heat building.

He holds my face to his, lips together as his other hand travels slowly down my body, slidin' it between us so that his thumb can rub my burning clit as he thrusts into me. Harder an' faster, his muscles twitchin' an' jumping with mine.

He cums hard. I can feel it as he moans and speeds his thumb stroke up in time with his thrusting. Piling in to me, a strangled roar escapes him as his orgasm matches pace with mine, and we go over the edge together. My body burning an' throbbing as I clench round him.

"JAS-PER!" I scream, clinging onto him for dear life as his head drops onto my shoulder.

After a moment he eases us gently back onto the bed and we wind around each other, wantin' to be as close as possible while we bask in the silence.

Eventually he raises his head, his golden eyes boring into mine. So many things said and understood without the need to utter a word.

Deliberately he lowers his mouth to the base of my neck.

"I love you." He murmurs against my skin. "You are mine."

He sinks his teeth into me slowly and through the pain I can feel his venom flow into the puncture wounds mixing with mine and setting off a chain reaction.


	40. Chapter 40

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. **

**Chpt 38 Booby Traps**

**BPOV**

"Nice mark." Char comments, smirkin'. "Did you enjoy it?"

I look at her blankly, is she fuckin' kidding me?

She frowns at me. "What happened? Wasn't it good? Sugar when Pete bit me it was so romantic and sexy. Please tell me you didn't miss out on anythin'."

I flounder around in my head lookin' for words to use. When our venom mixed in me somethin' happened that I can't explain. Being intimate with Jasper is about the most glorious thing in the world but when he made love to me with his venom inside me it was like bein' hooked up to an amplifier every cell in my body was vibrating an' arcing electricity. I actually thought I was going to die from the pleasure. I chuckle at the memory, even Jasper thought briefly I was going to die from the pleasure, equal parts proud an' appalled afterwards.

A big shit eatin' grin spreads across my face when I realise that it's my turn next.

"Oh shit!" Char starts laughin'. "You lucky, lucky bitch. Jasper's your sire! Somebody told me a story once about what it's like when bonded mates mark each other. I thought she was makin' it up. You have to tell me everything. NOW!"

Several hours later we return to the house finding Jasper an' Pete in the yard, sprawled out with beers in a couple of lawn chairs.

"They're not drinkin' that are they?" I ask, not believin' my eyes.

"No sugar." She laughs smilin' at them fondly. "They just like to pretend sometimes is all. They're a couple of sentimental bastards at times."

Reachin' them I make my best seductive climb into Jasper's lap only to send us an' the lawn chair crashin' to the dirt.

Laughing Jasper sits cross legged on the ground holdin' me in his lap while Char settles at Pete's feet.

"Darlin'," Jasper says makin' a sad little boy face. "That was my favourite loungin' chair." He sticks his lower lip out so I suck on it gently. Immediately his hands move to my face pullin' me in for a kiss.

"You can pack that in before you get started." Pete whines. "Jeez, you were only apart a few fuckin' days. Control yourselves."

Gigglin' like little children we pull away from each other an' I nestle my head under his chin.

"So." Pete says. "We're not goin' after Rutilio. We're gonna wait for him to come for us."

I feel Jasper nod before he speaks. "This ain't a dictatorship Pete, Char, you guys are entitled to your opinions. We can vote on it if we need to."

Pete sighs heavily an' Char hugs his leg tighter.

"Pete." Jasper begins. "I know you don't wanna hear this but I'm too fuckin' tired to go chasin' after my death. It'll fuckin' find me anyway, it's been comin' long enough."

Whimperin' slightly I clutch him tighter an' he responds by kissin' the top of my head.

"At least if we go after him we'll have an element of surprise J." Pete huffs.

"Yeah." Jasper chuckles darkly. "The element of a surprisin' endin' for all of us. We'll never get near him Pete an' you fuckin' know it. At least this way he'll _think_ he's got the upper hand."

"He will have the fuckin' upper hand!" Pete almost shouts.

"Isn't there anyone who could help us?" I ask.

"No sweet thing." Its Pete's turn for a mirthless chuckle. "The Southern Wars weren't exactly a great way to make lastin' friendships. The friends we have got, we wouldn't ask 'em to get involved in this clusterfuck."

"You don't have to be involved in this either Pete." Jasper says quietly. "Its me he wants."

"You're my fuckin' sire J!" Pete leaps to his feet shoutin' an' pointing his finger, his eyes black with anger. "Don't you say that to me. Don't you ever fuckin' say that to me!"

Char wraps her arms around him from behind. "Its okay baby." She soothes. "We ain't goin' anywhere an' he knows it. Come on, come take a bath with me." Slowly she pulls him away into the house.

Jasper shudders around me and I hold him tighter still.

"We knew they wouldn't leave Jasper." I whisper into his chest, tracing my lips over his heart scar. "This isn't your fault."

"Whose fault is it then?"

"Jasper, that evil bitch stole you away from your life an' manipulated you into doin' her bidding. You were practically still a child. You never went out seekin' fame and glory. Other people told those stories about you to spice up their own sad an' meaningless little lives and even sadder assholes want to try and get some of that to rub off on them. You didn't cause any of this. Yes, you did some bad things but you'll pay for it one day the same as we all will. Rutilio is one the doing all this, him and the pathetic bastards who think fighting or watching other people fight is productive way to spend their eternity."

He sighs. "I'm sorry I got you mixed up in this too."

"I know you are darlin'." I whisper, pressing my lips to his heart scar again. "But I'm not. An' we're not dead yet."

Suddenly he laughs, throwin' back his head an' flooding the yard with joy. "No we ain't dead yet."

Still laughing he gets to his feet pullin' me with him and shouting. "Get outta that fuckin' tub Pete. We got work to do!"

"What are we doing?" I ask.

"Makin' booby traps darlin'." He smirks.

"Oh." Booby traps?

He laughs again, readin' the expression on my face. "There are one or two traps that could actually kill a vampire though it would take a lot of luck for them to work, for the most part the traps are about slowin' down, disruptin' and dividin' attacking forces."

"Oh."

"Come on, I'll show you."

Taking my hand he leads me down into the cellar.

"What the . . . ."

The dark space is packed with the strangest assortment of stuff I've ever seen in my life an' the questions are queuing up in my mind before I can get them out of my mouth. There are guns, rifles, pistols and machine guns. Is that a rocket launcher? Piles of lumber pre-cut and obviously grouped together in 'kits' to make god knows what. There are the rows of drums marked napalm. The basement is a veritable treasure trove of distinctly unfriendly bits and bobs.

Eventually a question fights its way out and I turn to Jasper who is leanin' against the wall with his arms folded over his chest and a big grin on his beautiful face.

"You keep napalm in the cellar?"

"Not me, Pete." He rolls his eyes. "I keep tellin' him one day this lot's gonna go off an' burn his sorry ass back to hell."

Boots clatter down the wooden stairs behind us and Pete's sandy head appears, also wearin' a big grin. "An' I keep tellin' you that you're an ol' fashioned fucker with no appreciation of modern technology."

The two men regard each other silently for a moment, the smiles slippin' from their faces.

"I'm sorry Pete." Jasper says.

"Me too." Pete mutters.

Stepping forwards the two share a hug. Jasper's eyes closin' over the pain he's hiding.

"I love you Dad." Pete whispers an' starts to laugh.

"Fucker." Jasper roars, shovin' him away and sending him flying across the room into the opposite wall.

I look over to the stairs raisin' my eyebrow at Char who has followed Pete down. She shrugs smilin' contentedly.

Pete, who is still howling with laughter hauls himself to his feet wipin' the excess venom from his eyes.

"I told you never to call me that!" Jasper growls, a small smile twitching at the corner of his lips.

"I know J." Pete smirks. "But it's worth the pastin' I get to see the look on your face." Taking a deep breath he steadies himself as the last of his chuckles die away. "So we're settin' traps are we?"

"I reckon so Pete." Jasper smirks back at him. "Nobody said we had to fight fair."

"Okay then." Suddenly Pete's all business. "Let's get this show on the road."

I look across at Jasper who answers my silent question. "I might be The Major." He chuckles. "But Pete's the evil genius when it comes to stuff like this. Look, listen an' learn darlin'."

An hour later the contents of the basement are all laid out neatly and according to Pete's directions in the yard.

"What do we need a canon for?" I ask Pete.

"Nothin'" he chuckles "that's just here so J'll have a weapon he can feel comfortable with."

I snigger, casting a sideways glance at Jasper who is studiously ignoring us.

We worked through the day following Pete's precise instructions. Char, the technology expert, rigging up triggers and god knows what while Jasper and I toil away at the manual labour.

The good humour, gallows humour(?), from earlier is slowly leaking out of me an' the feelin' of dread I've had ever since Jasper was taken is settling over me again like a heavy blanket.

I look up from the nails I'm hammering to find Jasper watching me carefully. I manage a wan smile before turning back to my task. Before I can whack it into the next nail the hammer is taken gently from my hand and Jasper drops to his knees beside me.

"Are you okay darlin'?" He asks softly, reaching out and takin' my hand, stroking the palm with his thumb.

"I'm scared." I whisper.

Jasper pulls me into his lap as Pete and Char stroll over and sit down with us.

"What's up sweet thing?" Pete asks gently.

"I don't want to lose any of you." I mumble into Jasper's chest.

"We don't wanna lose any of us either." Char says quietly, reaching her hand out and resting it on my shoulder.

"Darlin'," Jasper says into my hair. "We know this is hard for you. Pete, Char an' me. Unfortunately we're kinda used to bein' in this position. But we're all still here an' there ain't no reason why we won't be when all this is done."

I nod.

"We're all strong fighters, even you." He adds giving me a squeeze. "We've got my gift an' yours, which they probably don't know about. An' we'll have some nasty surprises waitin' for 'em."

He sighs, buryin' his face in my hair. "I can't promise you everythin' is goin' to be okay Bella but I can promise you that we won't go down without a fight."

I nod again taking a deep breath and raising my head to look at my family.

Char an' Pete edge forwards until we are all enveloped in a group hug

I shudder the enormity of it all pressing down on me but then I square my shoulders. We will fight, we have everything to fight for and I won't let fear or hopelessness stop me from doing all I can to protect my family and my mate. All we have to do is stay alive long enough to put my half assed plan into action an' hope that it's enough.

After a few minutes we pull away from each other.

An evil smirk appears on Pete's face as he stands and offers me his hand. I take it and he pulls me out of Jasper's lap.

"Come on lil' sister." He says, his red eyes twinklin'. "Let me introduce you to the ownership an' operation of a flame thrower."

As night falls we head out into the forest an' set our traps. What Pete, who definitely has gallows humour, is calling Operation Antagonise the Enemy Before They Capture You.

As the sun rises we wander slowly back to the house, each of us deep in thought.

"They're comin'." Pete says suddenly, his head snappin' up.

Jasper and I exchange glances. "When?" He asks calmly.

"Tomorrow." Pete shakes his head. "How the fuck did they find us so quickly?"

Jasper ignores the question. "Any idea how many, what type of forces?"

Pete squirms unhappily. "A lot." He says simply.


	41. Chapter 41

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. **

**Chpt 40 And So it Begins**

**BPOV**

And so here I am in cloudy late afternoon, keeping watch in a tree with my shield up to mask my scent.

I can hardly complain about the short timeframe as it's entirely my doing that they've come after us so quickly. Jasper says people who act in haste are more likely to make mistakes but I'm aware that cuts both ways, I acted in haste when I let that vampire overhear our conversation and escape.

Jasper and I both know that this is the best chance we have to get this over with and go on with our lives.

This will either work and we will live on together or it won't and we'll end together. Neither of us has mentioned the terrifying possibility that only one of us will survive this. I can't even think about it. The _horror_ of it would cripple me when I need to be strong. I never thought I would have any empathy for Victoria. Edward allowin' Jasper to go after her would have been an act of mercy, of that much I _am_ sure.

I sigh heavily. I have deliberately avoided thinking about Alice and Edward. Where are they? Are they really dead? If we survive this we will have to find out. I might still be all kinds of pissed at the Cullens but I did think of them as my family once.

And then there is Joshua Caerphilly. The man, boy I killed in the parking lot. Char hacked into various computer systems to find out about him for me. If I could cry I would. I didn't kill a waster or a scoundrel I killed someone I would have admired. Someone who when he lost his parents gave up his dreams and took on three jobs to put his little sister through college. She will go to college, the scholarship has already been set up by Jenks. But she'll never get her brother back. Not like I got Jasper back. I always knew life wasn't fair but it's only now I'm technically dead that I'm learning to appreciate the complicated strands it's woven from. You would go crazy if you tried to rationalise what's fair and what's right without all the information an' complexities laid out in front of you. So once again I accept that I can only work with what I have. An innocent man died at my hand so that the man I love could live, I made a choice and I will have to learn to deal with it. And one day I will pay for it, because in my heart I cannot regret that choice.

A faint noise in the distance and two unfamiliar scents on the breeze jerk me to attention. I have selected a good vantage point, I can see a long way from here, includin' two of our booby traps.

Senses on high alert I scan the area, pulling out my cell so I can contact the others. I am under strict instructions from Jasper to watch and report only.

My sharp eyes pick out two vampires creeping up to one of our booby traps. I quickly text the location to Jasper and drop silently from my tree stealthily makin' my way in the direction of the interlopers.

Under Pete's direction we'd done a good job of hiding the traps. Jasper and I burying our kills near them to muddle the scents, vampires would know we had been there but hopefully assume that it was to hunt an' hide the evidence.

Carefully, Pete's dissin' of my stealth skills hasn't stopped smarting, I creep closer until I can see an' hear them clearly.

"Anything here?" Vamp one asks, lookin' around nervously.

"I'm not sure Nick." The other mutters, picking up a stick an' pokin' around in the underbrush. "I think there's something in here."

"Can't we just leave it?" Vamp one asks, a slight tremor in his voice.

"Aww." The vamp with the stick teases. "Is little Nicky Wicky afraid that The Big Bad Major is going to jump out of the shadows and rip his little head off?"

"Yes." Nicky Wicky answers curtly. "And if you had any fucking sense you would be too. This whole thing is a crock of shit and I don't see why I have to get myself killed just because the boss couldn't resist bragging to Caius Volturi."

"Jeez Nick." Stick vamp groans returning his attention to the bushes. "He's only one vampire."

Nick grunts.

"There's something in here, it looks like a hose and a nozzle or something."

"Booby trap?" Nick asks.

"Could be, must be some human thing, its not like anything would work on us."

Nick flips open his cell. "I'll call the others and let them know what we've found."

"Hang on a minute." Vamps one's voice floats out of the bush he's pressing himself into. "Let me see what it is first."

Shit. What do I do? I can't just let them call the others an' tell 'em about the traps but Jasper was most insistent that I am only supposed to watch. And I'm not entirely confident I can do anything anyway, its one thing to go chargin' off to rescue Jasper and Pete but quite another to start a fight a cold.

Fretfully I watch the guy pokin' around in the bushes. Maybe it's not that different. These people are coming here to take Jasper away from me again, one way or another, maybe if I can tap into whatever it was that settled over me in Kentucky I can take these two out.

After an age the vamp backs out of the undergrowth, throwing down the stick. "It's definitely a booby trap." He says, worry now creepin' into _his_ voice. "It looks like a fucking flame thrower."

Taking a deep breath I call to mind the perfectly preserved memory of Jasper on his knees in that parking lot. Instantly I feel the shutters bang down as my eyes go black. Silently I leap from my hidin' place taking off little Nicky Wicky's head before he's finished dialling his cell.

Snarling I whip around to face the other vampire.

He regards me steadily, breathing deeply and droppin' into a crouch, his face serious and intent. My element of surprise is gone.

We circle around sizing each other up. My newborn instincts urge me to jump on him, ripping an' tearin' but The Major's lessons are well learnt and I wait for him to make the first move.

Alert, I see his muscles bunch as he prepares to pounce, reading his intentions from his movements I evade his leap. But barely. He is fast.

"You are very controlled for a newborn." He says as we resume our circling.

"I had a good teacher." I respond, a small smile touchin' my lips as my confidence builds. "How do you know I'm a newborn?"

"Your eyes." He answers. "They're light. And slightly orange. You do realise that drinking animals makes you weak?"

"I don't feel weak." I tell him, my smile growin' as I shield Jasper who is approaching from the east.

"You are." He snarls, leaping for me again.

This time he manages to catch hold of my foot as I flip away, bringing me crashing to the ground with him. Kicking out my other foot makes contact with his head an' he lets me go with a grunt of pain.

Immediately we are on our feet facing each other again.

"I can do this all night." He promises, smirking at me.

"No." The Major says. "I don't think you can."

Whirling my opponent comes face to face with The Major who is leaning against a tree with his arms folded nonchalantly across his chest an' a mockin' grin on the only part of his face visible under his lowered hat.

"Darlin'." The Major addresses me. "Which part of watch only are you havin' a problem with?"

"The part that requires action." I drawl.

"Well," he answers tippin' his hat to me like a movie cowboy "don't let me stop you."

The vampire has been watching our exchange like a fan watching a tennis match, his head whipping backwards an' forwards.

Drawing myself up to my full, if inadequate height, I beckon Rutilio's man towards me.

He charges me again an' this time instead of dodging him I meet him head on, grabbin' one of his outstretched arms an' using it as leverage to flip him into one of the nearby trees. It falls to the ground with him tangled in the branches, wasting no time I leap on him closin' my hands around his throat.

He struggles beneath me an' we both hear a click. Our movement on the fallen tree has activated one of Char's triggers. Without hesitation I throw up my shield subconsciously fitting it around my body as a roar of flame scorches over us.

The vampire beneath me screams in agony as the parts of him not beneath my body are seared by the napalm.

Horrified I leap to my feet and scuttle away from the tongue of flame, falling to my knees in the cool grass. Its over in seconds, the fiery lance disappearing as the black rage leaves my eyes.

Raising my head I watch numbly as The Major leap forwards and ends the vampire's suffering by tearin' his charred smoulderin' limbs off before they can ignite the venom in the rest of his body.

"You okay darlin'?" Jasper asks, droppin' down beside me.

"Yeah." I pull myself together. "Pete's traps are a lot nastier in the flesh than they are in your imagination."

"That they are darlin'." He chuckles. "That's kinda the point."

I roll my eyes. "Where are they?"

"They're a couple of miles south. There were a few more of Rutilio's goons pokin' around down there. Pete an' Char went to take 'em out."

"Do we need to start a fire?"

"No darlin'. We don't want to give too much away, we need to take the parts back to the house an' store 'em out of the way."

Gross.

"Okay." I mutter, risin' to my feet. "Let's get it over with."

Like the coward that I am I let Jasper dismember the bodies to make them easier to carry and then with a very human grimace I pick up my load an' follow him back to the house.

Pete an' Char are already there, several huge pits already dug out of the yard.

"Welcome." Pete sweeps his arm across the yard. "Split 'em up between the holes sweet thing, we need to keep the body parts separated."

Grimly I work with Jasper an' Char to scatter our loads between the pits while Pete gleefully fills them in again with his innocent lookin' shovel.

When we're done, Pete leans on the shovel an' looks to Jasper for instructions.

"We'd better head back out on patrol." He says, turning his eyes to me. "We'll go in pairs this time, it's safer."

I shuffle my feet.

"We'll meet in the clearin' we picked out earlier. Sunrise." He continues. "In the meantime if it's safe to do so we'll take out as many of the teams he's got pokin' around as we can. Less of 'em to worry about tomorrow. No fires. We want him to be as unsure as possible what's happened to 'em."

We all nod.

"Stay together and stay out of trouble." He finishes. "We do _not_ want anybody bein' taken as leverage."

Taking my hand he leads me north while Pete an' Char head south.

We move silently through the trees at a fast human pace reaching out with our senses for any out of place sounds or scents and about five miles out we cross the trail of three vampires we don't recognise. Turning we speed up an' follow.

The three must be movin' very cautiously because within minutes the scents get stronger an' Jasper slows us down as we get closer. When we realise they have stopped I throw my shield up over us as we edge closer.

The three are standin' just outside the tree line lookin' across a large meadow.

"What the hell are we doing out here in the middle of the night?" One asks shakin' his head.

"Reconnaissance." The biggest one answers in a tone of voice that indicates repetition. "See how many there are with the target and see if we can pick any of them off or capture anyone for bargaining."

"I'm not happy about this." The first one responds. "Did you see the mess they made of the Kentucky facility?"

"Yes." The big one answers curtly.

I feel a squeeze on my hand an' look up to see The Major's black eyes starin' down at me. He releases my hand an' nods left. Carefully I move away, stoppin' when he nods his head at me again. Pulling his hat down over his eyes he steps forward through the trees an' clears his throat.

The three vampires spin round droppin' into crouches.

"Who are you?" The biggest one demands. "Where did you come from?"

Silence. Apparently The Major is not in a talkative mood.

"It's three against one." The big one threatens.

The Major's sadistic grin tugs at his lips an' I step forwards into the open, black claiming my eyes.

Three heads snap towards me.

"Don't mind me." I drawl, my grin matchin' my mate's. "The Major just brings me along to clean up the mess when he's done."


	42. Chapter 42

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. **

**Chpt 41 Entrees**

**BPOV**

As the fight starts the vampire who hasn't spoken makes a break for it, streakin' across the meadow.

"Bella!" The Major hollers as he swings his two opponents into each other with a thunderin' crash.

Instantly I take off after the escapee, my newborn speed allowin' me to be on him in seconds. I tackle him to the ground wrapping my arms around his neck and pullin' back with all my might.

"Please." He whimpers as his bones begin to creak. "I didn't want to be here."

"Neither do I." I growl, pullin' back harder an' gritting my teeth against the metallic sound of his tearin' stone flesh.

As I climb off his body I hear The Major comin' up behind me, draggin' two bodies with him.

"We need to bury them quickly." He orders as he begins to dismember them. "The noise may draw others."

Nodding I start scrabblin' at the black earth. Quickly we dig several holes, a few feet apart and drop the parts in, covering them over an' stompin' the dirt down.

Two things happen at once, a huge phalanx of fireworks light the night sky an' Jasper's phone vibrates in his pocket. He pulls it out an' flips it open, showin' me the message as he reads.

'Multiple bogies. Backup required. Follow the lights. P.'

"Let's go." Once again The Major reaches for my hand an' throwin' up my shield we run towards the fadin' light show.

Pete an' Char meet us under an outcropping of rock which I remember from the previous night he has rigged with C4. I glance up nervously an' Pete chuckles at me.

Its okay lil' sis." He taunts. "Char's disconnected the booby trap for now. Major. There are eight of 'em movin' across the ridge line, looks like they're headin' round the other side of the property. They set off the fireworks we laid out for early warnin'. What do you want to do?"

The Major is silent for a moment, the cogs whirring in his mind. "Let's go take a look see. We might be able to take a few of them out or get one to question but we need to be careful your not so subtle early warnin' system will have been visible for miles."

Pete shrugs. "Yeah, but you should have seen the looks on their fuckin' faces. If they'd been human they'd be back home changin' their pants by now."

The Major rolls his eyes. "Bella, can you shield the four of us?"

I nod.

"Then let's go."

Silently we follow The Major's broad back into the trees, shadowin' the ridge line.

After a few minutes we are close enough to see the group cautiously descending the rocks towards the trees. The Major brings us to a halt, watching.

The leader speaks quietly to them an' immediately they split into two equal groups, one goin' north, the other south. After a moments deliberation The Major leads as south, after the group with the leader. We follow them for several miles before they emerge into a small clearin' an' pause scanning the view.

The Major indicates with his hands what needs to be done an' Pete and Char nod in understandin' while my lack thereof is written all over my face. Smilin' slightly The Major takes my hand an' squeezes it hard. Even I get that one, you _will_ stay with me.

Pete an' Char fall in behind us as The Major and I step into the clearin'. I can feel the backwash of his gift as the vampires turnin' to face us groan an' sway, a faint trace of lethargy. Immediately Pete an' Char circle round behind them.

Droppin' my hand The Major moves in front of the leader who drops to his knees with another, deeper groan.

Pete an' Char step forwards and coldy start to dismember two of those still standin'. The third one jerks upright an' leaps over my head into the trees. Instantly I take off after him.

"Bella! No!" The Major roars but its too late, I am already launchin' myself at my target just ahead of me.

As we crash to the ground I become aware of the four vampires from the other group materialising from the shadows. One grabs me by the arm and swings me violently into a nearby tree while the other three leap for my family.

Snarlin' I right myself just in time for my attacker to barrel into me sendin' me flying backwards into the dirt. Landin' on top of me he wrenches my arm out of its socket an' almost off my body. With an agonised scream I raise my legs, kickin' him off me an' scramblin' to my feet clutchin' my injured arm. Behind me I hear The Major's enraged roar but I don't turn, he's taught me to concentrate on what I'm doin' when I fight.

My opponent rushes me again an' this time I flip easily out of his way catchin' a glimpse of the fight in the clearing. Pete an' Char are battlin' an opponent each while two others are circlin' The Major futilely lookin' for a weakness. The leader is still swayin' on his knees.

Before I have landed my assailant has turned an' is on me again. This time I wait until his outstretched arms almost reach me an' then I bring up my shield slicin' his arms off cleanly at the elbow.

Gapin' in shock he falls to his knees an' a maniacal cackle escapes me as I step up an' aim a good solid kick at his head flippin' him onto his back. I jump forwards, kneelin' on his chest ready to remove his head an' then I realise that I'm not quite sure how to accomplish that with one arm.

"Allow me darlin'." The Major says, reachin' down an' doin' the job for me.

Over his shoulder I can see Pete an' Char dismemberin' and burying bodies.

"Where's the leader?" I ask.

"He got away." The Major drags the body away, rippin' a few bits off and tossing them in the holes Pete has already dug.

He returns to me, frownin' and gently taking my injured arm in his big hands.

"This will hurt." He tells me without inflection.

I roll my eyes. "Tell me something I don't know." I mutter.

Ripping away my t-shirt he carefully realigns my arm, I groan as the severed flesh an' tendons reach out for each other. He bends his head, lickin' gently around the wound, soothin' the pain and helpin' it fuse.

"Thank you." I whisper, flexin' my fingers.

He nods.

"Pete! Head back to our last meetin' place an' wait there. I'm goin' after him." He turns his black eyes to me. "You _will _go with them."

I nod and he's away, sprintin' across the meadow.

"Come on sugar." Char comes up beside me takin' my hand. "Let's go hide."

I throw the shield over us an' we run cautiously back to the rocks. As we run I can feel myself getting' weaker from venom loss an' a long night usin' my shield.

"I'll need to hunt soon." I tell them as we hunker down in the shadows.

"Wait for J to get back." Pete orders. "We can't afford to split up at this point. We'll all go. How do you feel about deer for breakfast mi bella esposa?"

Char rolls her eyes. "Lovely." She drawls.

We sit like statues for several hours until we scent Jasper's approach.

He strides out of the trees, his clothes ripped an' torn rubbin' absently at a fresh bite mark on his arm.

"Are you alright?" I ask flyin' into his arms an' hugging him tight.

"I'm fine."

"Did you catch him?" Pete asks.

"Yep." Jasper confirms, closin' his eyes as I lap my tongue gently over his bite. "It was like fightin' a girl. Fucker was all teeth."

"And did you find out anythin' useful?" Pete presses.

"Rutilio's brought about forty men with him, almost everythin' he's got apparently. He must be shit scared of Caius. He's none to happy about bein' here an' neither are most of his men, they're all shit scared of _us_." He chuckles in satisfaction. "The guy I caught seemed to think they were gonna attack in two waves but he's not sure because they hadn't decided when they sent him out to look for us. Rutilio's not really sure how to proceed as he doesn't want to damage the merchandise."

"Well let's hope they stick to that plan." Pete sighs. "Two waves would work to our advantage. An' by my reckonin' he's down fifteen men already."

Jasper nods.

"I need to hunt." I interrupt, lockin' eyes with Jasper, conveyin' a silent message. "I need all my strength for my shield."

"You're right." He raises his eyebrow at Pete an' Char. "You comin'?"

"Yes." Char confirms. "But don't get too excited this is an emergency measure only. I fuckin' hate deer."

We wait while Char resets the booby trap and then takin' a deep breath I throw the shield up around us again as we make our way to one of our huntin' grounds.

Tryin' to block out Pete an' Chars whinin' I take down two deer drainin' them quickly. Buryin' the bodies I rest briefly on my knees watchin' the others. Pete an' Char are drainin' their second kill while Jasper is standin' staring at the approachin' dawn with a stag danglin' lifelessly from his hand.

Torn between wantin' to go to him, wrap him in my arms an' never let him go and the need for more blood I reluctantly climb to my feet an' flit off in search of another deer. As I bring one down I can hear him comin' up behind me, I drain it an' bury it before turning to look for him.

He's leanin' against a tree his long lean legs stretched out in front of him. Wiping my lips I go to him, settling down in between his thighs an' leanin' back against his chest. With a sigh he closes his arms around me, holding me tight an' dropping his head onto my shoulder.

We sit in silence, my shield down an' our emotions passin' backwards and forwards between us. One of my favourite ways to communicate with him, the other being, of course, with our bodies.

"It's nearly time." He murmurs and I sense his regret that we can't just stay here in this moment. And his fear of losin' me an' his family.

I summon up all my love and feel it wash over us as he projects it back, mixin' it with his own.

We might die today but I regret nothin'. Jasper Whitlock is worth it.

"I love you." We say together as he turns me in his arms an' kisses me deeply. The kiss is slow and sweet, full of all our love and passion. I feel it from the tips of my toes to the hair on my head and in my suddenly warm dead heart. His hands trace up and down my back, pullin' me closer too him, pressin' our chests together as mine reach under his hat and twist into his hair.

With a sigh we pull away from each other an' he lowers his head to my shoulder again.

"Do you remember the plan?" He asks quietly.

"Yes."

"And are you goin' to stick to it an' do as you're told?" He chuckles.

"Yes. Unless circumstances require a change."

He snorts an' is about to argue with me when we sense Pete an' Char approachin' through the trees.

Firmly he presses his lips to his mark on my neck.

"Do you think if I marry you you'll have less trouble with obeyin' me?" He whispers as he caresses it with his tongue.


	43. Chapter 43

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. **

**Chpt 42 Incomplete**

**EPOV**

I have completely lost track of time and quite possibly my sanity.

With the loss of so much venom over time the pain of my dismemberment has quietened to a dull roar.

Unable to move or speak I have done nothing but think and my thoughts and my regrets have made poor bedfellows in my locked wooden box.

It has now been, I believe, several days since I have heard any sound at all from my captors and I am beginning to fear that I have been abandoned and forgotten in my tomb.

I have no idea what has happened to my sister. We were separated at the hotel the night we arrived in Rio and I have not sensed her since.

Not one single word has been addressed to me. What I know, I know from my gift which like me has grown weaker and weaker since this ordeal began. Perhaps my captors are still here and I can simply no longer hear them.

Rutilio.

According to the minds I have read where his business interests are concerned he is inclined to act first and ask questions later.

It was naïve and dangerous of me to rush down here trusting in my gift to allow me to discover the truth and protect me. And incredibly foolish to bring my sister with me. Carlisle and Esme must be insane with worry.

My captors knew nothing of why I am here. Only that I was to be detained and incapacitated until further notice. They also knew nothing of Alice's fate. I can only assume that Rutilio, fully aware of my relationship to Jasper and where I had been, decided not to risk any interference from us. I have accomplished nothing.

Boots on the wooden floorboards shock me back to the present. Two vampires are approaching, one whose thoughts are entirely consumed with his upcoming hunt and the other who is coldly preparing to carry out his master's instructions.

Oh dear God.

I regret many decisions I have made, as much as I regret now the consequences of those decisions to myself and others. But I regret nothing more than running away from Bella when she was mine.

I am forever doomed to be incomplete. Never to heal the pain in my heart, never to see my love again and without the chance I started to perceive to make peace with my immortal existence and accept the opportunities it presented.

Bella, Bella, Bella.


	44. Chapter 44

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. **

**Chpt 43 First Wave**

**BPOV**

We split up into pairs an' approach the clearin' from opposite directions, not using my shield as we _want_ them to follow us here. All is quiet as the four us stand in the centre, reachin' out with our senses for any sign of the enemy. Nothing. Yet.

"We should build a fire." The Major orders. "A fuckin' big one."

Relieved to have something to do while we wait the four of us rip up trees from the edge of the clearin' an' chop them buildin' an impressive fire near the centre. Every time I look up from my labours Char is grinnin' at me like the Cheshire Cat. Stupid vampire hearing. I don't need Edward's gift to know what she's thinkin'. WEDDING! That's what. Growlin' I rip up another tree with unnecessary force.

All too soon the fire is ready and we wait in silence.

I am surprised at the lack of tension between us. We've done all our worryin' and regrettin'. Shared it as couples and a family. Now its time to fight. Like statues we stand in a line in the centre of the clearing. The four of holding hands, Char an' I in the centre.

It is really quite beautiful. The ground is covered in lush green grass mingled with delicate wildflowers. The sunlight is streamin' down an' the whole space sparkles with the reflected light of four vampires.

Suddenly I laugh.

"What's funny?" The Major asks.

"I've just realised I'm about to fight for my life wearin' only a bra an' a pair of skinny jeans. How very _Bella_ of me."

Swiftly The Major removes his torn t-shirt an' lowers it over my head. I pull it on an' tie it the side, still laughin' because now I look like I'm wearin' a dress.

Grinnin' Pete removes his t-shirt too an' Char pulls it over her head, tying it over her own.

Pete has nowhere near as many scars as The Major but the two of them together are an impressive an' potentially bladder loosening sight. But Char an' I share a knowin' look, we see our mates as two beautiful blonde gods sparklin' in the sun.

Our ogling is interrupted by a loud explosion in the distance.

"Ahhh." Pete sighs with satisfaction. "I love a good bang in the mornin'."

"What's going to happen?" I ask, _again_.

"If I were Rutilio," The Major answers patiently "I'd send a force in first to soften us up an' then follow it up quickly with my strongest fighters."

"Why not attack all at once an' overwhelm us with numbers?"

"Too much risk." The Major shrugs. "He wants at least some of us alive an' he's not sure what gifts we have."

"But isn't there a risk we'll easily survive his first attack an' be waitin' for him when he comes?"

The Major looks down at me, his black eyes softenin' slightly. "Not really. The second attack won't be far behind. He won't willingly give us a chance to re-group."

Shit. Fuck. Bollocks. Tit Wank. I've been workin' on my cursin' but still have a way to go.

"Don't worry lil' sis." Pete says jovially. "Whatever happens we'll take as many of those fuckers out as we can."

I remember back to when Jasper asked me if I felt stronger. I am stronger now. Stronger than I have ever been, physically and mentally. And yet for all I have wished not to be the weak leak, the one that always needs protecting, it is ironic that I now discover that strength alone does not make you invincible. There is always someone in a stronger position, either physically or by circumstance or design. Always.

I lower my head closin' my eyes an' takin' a deep breath. I remember the look on Jasper's face as he was forced to his knees in the parkin' lot. I remember Joshua Caerphilly. I remember Char's stricken expression when we met up in Philadelphia. And I remember the sight of Jasper hangin' from those chains in the cave. And I am angry. As I raise my head my eyes darken, turnin' black an' empty a cold mask settling over my features.

The Major nods to me approvingly.

Pete tips his hat respectfully. "Ma'am. Welcome back."

Char starts to grin.

Almost immediately we sense vampires approachin'.

"Twelve." The Major says quietly. "They're all around us."

Slowly we move until we are standin' in a loose circle facing out.

Ambrosio emerges into the sunlight first, black pony tail absorbing the light, eleven other vampires appearing from the trees around the clearin'. Only Ambrosio looks confident, the others are varying degrees of uncomfortable an' on edge. Good.

"Major!" Ambrosio greets him happily. "It is such a pleasure to finally meet you in the flesh."

Silence.

"What can we do for you?" I ask, a little of my anger colorin' my tone.

"Beautiful Bella. So lovely to see you again." He eyes me up and down, his gaze lingering on my face and neck. "Much has changed in you and you are mated I see. Congratulations. My master will be most pleased, he has recently mated again himself."

"Your congratulations are of no interest to me." I answer calmly. "Why are you here?"

"Of course." He nods, still lookin' too happy for my likin'. "My master wishes me to reprise his offer to The Major. Will you fight?"

"No." The Major's voice is flat an' emotionless.

"That is a shame." Ambrosio muses. "You have caused a great deal of damage to my Master's assets. He was hoping we could come to an arrangement to avoid any further _unpleasantness_."

"I will not fight." The Major says with finality.

"My Master does not wish to use coercion." Ambrosio's smile slips slightly. "_Again_."

"And I do not wish to have my time wasted with your distractions." The Major responds. His trademark grin forming. "I have said no."

I whip my shield up around us just in time to protect against the wall of cripplin' fear The Major blasts out as he charges silently at Ambrosio. The shield is released quickly an' the rest of the Whitlocks lunge at the shocked an' cowerin' vampires.

The air is filled with the thunderin' sound of hard bodies crashin' together and howls of rage. I quickly rip the head off the first vampire I reach while he's still reeling from the shock of The Major's emotional attack.

Moving onto the next I feel another approachin' behind me an' flick my shield out sendin' him crashing away as I go for the vampire in front of me.

"Get his mate!" I hear Ambrosio order.

The Major roars.

With a scream of rage I leap at my target knockin' him down an' takin' his arm with me as I roll away. I swing it around into the face of another coming at me with a satisfying boom.

Bringing my shield up I pause to take in the action. Pete is battlin' with two vampires at the edge of the trees. Char has just taken the head off one as three more descend on her. Ambrosio and The Major are fightin' furiously in the centre of the clearin'. The rest of the attackers are descendin' on me with prematurely triumphant looks in their eyes.

I stay in my shield. They cannot use me against The Major if they cannot get hold of me. Concentratin' I wrap another shield around Char, timin' it just right to repel her attackers an' she throws me a smile before pouncin' on the nearest as he tries to get to his feet stunned and wonderin' what the fuck just happened.

I've never been attacked inside my shield by so many before and I'm amazed to discover it's like being inside a Zorb. A startled laugh escapes me as I rock backwards and forwards while they waste time an' energy throwing themselves at me.

To my surprise time slows down in the heat of battle, allowin' me to keep track of what is happening. I don't understand it and I won't question it.

Across from me Pete manages to tear an arm from one of his attackers, droppin' to a crouch he swings it like a club knockin' the legs out from under the other. Standin' again he reverses his swing catchin' the first vampire in the face and then leapin' forwards to tear off his other arm. With an arm in each hand he advances on the second vampire.

Char's venom curdling scream snaps my attention across the clearing. And just like that everythin' goes to shit.

Two vampires have dragged her off the one she is wrestlin' with by her arms an' in sync they pull in opposite directions neatly seperatin' them from her body eliciting another raw scream. One of them viciously kicks her to her knees an' then both of them advance on Pete.

Bellowin' in fury Pete leaps over the vampire in front of him discarding the arms he's holdin' an' takin' the vampire's head with him as he passes.

Incensed I throw another shield over Char again an' pulse mine hurlin' the vampires around me in different directions as I charge over to help Pete. In my peripheral vision I see one of them roll into The Major like a bowling ball, knockin' him to his knees an' allowin' Ambrosio to take a firm hold of his right arm an' brace a leg against his chest.

With a gut wrenchin' shriek like rending metal The Major's arm cleaves from his body an' Ambrosio drops on his ass.

Without thought I change direction hurtlin' at Ambrosio knockin' him back on his ass as he tries to regain his feet. And then I do something savage that seems to come quite naturally to an enraged vampire. I sink my razor sharp teeth into his neck an' rip his throat out with one clean jerk of my neck. Starin' down into his astonished and agonised eyes I spit the flesh in his face.

"That's for fuckin' with my family." I snarl, dartin' forwards and snatchin' another chunk from his ruined neck, spitting it too into his face. "And that's for fuckin' with my mate!"

"Shield." The Major barks behind me.

I get it up around us just in time to repel the vampires about to throw themselves on us.

"That was hot." He murmurs, takin' his arm back from Ambrosio's twitchin' hand an' holding it firmly against his shoulder as I rise to my feet.

"And that was inappropriate." I gasp, shocked. He smirks.

I lift my head my eyes scannin' the space lookin' for Pete. He's taken out the two vampires who injured Char an' satisfied that she's shielded he's headin' our way with murderous intent in his usually twinkling eyes.

"Can you fight?" I ask The Major.

"Yes." He answers springing to his feet beside me.

We share an evil grin an' I drop my shield.

Six to go, two of them already injured.

"We need to finish this quickly." The Major growls. "Rutilio will not be far behind."

I nod an' in unison we charge the four vampires between us an' Pete who swings away immediately to go after the injured. With everyone fully occupied I release Char and she crawls across the grass to retrieve her arms.

The Major projects a heavy dose of lethargy ahead of us an' we take out the four in front of us relatively easily, despite him keepin' his re-attaching arm clamped to his side.

Peace descends on the clearin' the only sound the moans of the incapacitated who still have breath.

"Pete, help Char." The Major commands. "Bella start the fire an' let's get cookin'."

As quickly as possible we start tossin' bodies into the flames ignoring the sizzlin' an' poppin' while Pete helps Char fuse her limbs.

Suddenly The Major stiffens. "They're here." He announces slingin' the body he's carrying into the fire an' turnin' to face west his arm curled protectively across his chest.


	45. Chapter 45

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all. **

**Rated M for a reason. **

**Chpt 44 The Finishing Blow**

**BPOV**

Pete an' Char move to stand with us, our backs to the fire, as thirteen vampires emerge from the trees around us.

The Major was right, none of these vampires look particularly bothered by the sight of us although a few of them look angry and a touch ragged and one is actually singed. Kudos to Pete an' his booby traps, they sure do look antagonised.

I follow The Major's burning black eyes to the diminutive vampire in front of us. Rutilio. His name means Shining One in Spanish and indeed he does shine. Small but perfectly formed he is almost dapper with his pin stripe suit, silk tie an' smooth raven black hair. This _man_ is responsible for the attacks on my family, for the dread that clutches at my heart and the pain in Jasper's. Icy hatred douses my body and I shiver.

Deliberately I step slightly in front of The Major and he places his good hand lightly in the small of my back.

"You do not seem very pleased to see me Whitlocks." His voice is silky, like his lips bathe it in expensive body lotion as it passes between them. _Snake_.

My snarl is echoed by my family.

Rutilio turns his eyes to Pete who still has a body intended for the fire in his grasp.

"El teniente, might I prevail upon you to release my associate Ambrosio? He and I have been together a long time and I would hate to lose him _permanently_."

"Ma'am?" Pete queries.

I nod an' without ceremony Pete releases Ambrosio, who crashes to the ground with a thump. Char smirks an' rests her foot on his chest.

"You must be Bella." Rutilio continues. "Eduardo has told me so much about you, I feel like I almost know you. Such a shame he was unable to treat such a beautiful woman they way she deserved. The young can be very foolish, do you not think?"

A tense silence stretches out when I don't answer.

"This is awkward, is it not?" Rutilio chuckles. "Perhaps we can have a civilised conversation about our mutual predicament?"

"Mutual?" I ask, quirkin' my eyebrow.

"I freely admit to you Bella, an advantage of age if you will, that my vanity occasionally gets the better of me." He smiles warmly at me. "Regrettably, for all our sakes, I allowed a very _powerful_ client to get the impression that I could arrange for him to fight the famed Major of The Southern Wars. He is becoming increasingly keen for this fight to occur as soon as possible and I am afraid that if I do not produce The Major quickly he is going to become _irate_. This puts us in a very difficult situation."

"This puts _you_ in a very difficult position." I counter.

He sighs heavily, regarding me a small sad smile. "Unfortunately child I have no intention of failing to deliver. I have a coven and mate of my own to protect."

I almost start forwards, rage at the trouble he's caused an' his callous disregard of our lives bubblin' up to the surface.

The Major's fingers tighten slightly on the back of my t-shirt. "Revenge is a season in hell." He murmurs softly, pushin' a little calm at me.

I nod.

Instead of attacking I draw a deep breath an' let The Major's sadistic grin break out on my face. "Then you're fucked Rutilio because The Major will not fight an' his coven will not be used to force him."

His smile disappears and I see doubt flicker briefly in his burgundy eyes.

Stepping back into The Major I beckon my family close an' throw up my shield. When I feel The Major nod behind me I blast it out with all the power I can muster sendin' Rutilio an' his goons shootin' through the air an' fellin' trees for a good twenty feet around the clearin'.

It snaps back around us instantly an' we watch as thirteen stunned vampires struggle to their feet shakin' their heads to clear them as they close in on us again. Not thirteen, eleven, two have slipped away into the forest.

"You truly are The Major's Mate." Rutilio muses as he stands before us again, happiness an' avarice creepin' into his voice. "How wonderful. An unexpected bonus. My client will be enchanted, an associate of his is a keen scholar of talent."

Behind me The Major growls deep in his chest.

"Now, now Major." Rutilio chides. "If you will not co-operate or negotiate with me then you can hardly complain about the choices I make."

He eyes each of us in turn as we stare defiantly back. Finally he sighs again, shaking his head slightly. "Lovely Bella. We both know you will have to come out of that shield some time."

Behind me, Pete steps up level with The Major an' places his hand on my shoulder. With a small gasp of pain Char does the same on the other side.

"Major, Ma'am." Pete says in a low firm voice. "I'm done with this shit. Nobody's forcin' me or mine to do anythin' they don't want to. I'd rather die."

I glance at The Major an' he nods seriously, makin' me shiver again. Coldness seeps into my bones, we have arrived at the sum of my fears. Since I've become a vampire it seems like I've done nothin' except think about death, ironically I am more aware of my mortality now than I ever was as a human. An unfortunate by-product of finally havin' found something to live for.

"Pete." I drawl. "Drop our friend Ambrosio into the fire will you?"

"Yes Ma'am."

"You will regret this." Rutilio hisses viciously as the fire crackles an' pops behind me.

"Not as much as you will. _Asshole_." I snarl.

We fan out into a line the fire still at our backs, The Major an' Pete settlin' their hats down low over their eyes. Briefly we grasp hands, The Major's thumb gently caressin' my palm as he releases it.

I blast Rutilio an' his goons onto their asses again an' then, with inhuman yells of rage, the Whitlocks charge forward for the last time.

In a sublime mist of fury an' precision I take out my first target before he can recover from his second supernatural tossin'. By my side The Major punches through another with his good arm before the chaos of the fight whirls us away from one another.

We're goin' to die. I feel it in the marrow of my cold bones.

My previous awareness of what is happenin' around me has vanished. There is only rippin' , tearin' an' bitin'. Thundering crashes, metallic screeching' an' raw screams. I roar in pain and anger as someone bites a large chunk out of my leg. But I don't stop fightin', I can't. Twisting I aim a savage kick at my attacker, pausin' briefly to watch him sail through the air. His trajectory takes him sailin' past Pete who whips out his hand rippin' the vampire's throat out as he passes. Our eyes meet for an instant before we plunge back into the hopeless fight.

More bites, more pain, more savagery.

"ENOUGH!" A commandin' voice orders, cuttin' through the cacophony of sound.

I feel a strong wave of submission roil across my mental shield as the fightin' grinds slowly to a halt as if they are all clockwork, their springs gradually runnin' out of stored energy. Gaspin' an' pantin' those still able to move turn to face The Major who sways imperceptibly on the spot.

Still in the grip of my furious mist I finish removin' the head of the vampire I was grapplin' with.

Lookin' up I find The Major regardin' me with a raised eyebrow. Vaguely ashamed I toe the grass with the tip of my ruined sneaker, takin' in the devastation around me. Decimated trees an' scrubbed up grass mingled with gouged stone flesh all strewn around, the ground black an' muddy.

Almost all are covered in seepin' bites or clutchin' at the stumps of their limbs. Char is down, huge chunks torn out of her arms an' legs. Pete has not faired much better although he is still standin', if awkwardly on one leg, the other mangled an' danglin' uselessly. The Major is in little better shape, fresh venom glistenin' on his skin, his injured arm hangin' limply at his side. Glancin' down I become aware of the sting of the bite marks coverin' me.

There are still seven goons standin', plus Rutilio, his pin stripe suit a tattered mess. All of them the worse for wear but most of them in better condition than us. And to make matters worse the two vampires who slipped away earlier in the fight have returned, fresh as daisies, nasty lookin' smiles on their faces.

The cold within me deepens.

Rutilio recovers first, shakin' himself visibly. "Let us end this Major. Let us negotiate, I would have no further harm come to your coven. _This_," he gestures around the clearin' with distaste "is _enough_."

I feel the submission weaken an' retreat, watchin' in horror as The Major sways again an' sinks to his knees in front of the fire. Immediately Rutilio's goons seize Pete an' Char. The rest drawin' cautiously closer to me but not attemptin' to restrain me.

A tight pain begins to form in my chest.

"You will come with me now." Rutilio orders. "And I will leave your coven in peace. You have fought with courage and honour but you have lost."

With a strangled sob I flit to The Major's side, takin' his hand an' helpin' him to his feet. Love and fear swirl around us.

"You made me whole." He murmurs, pressin' his lips into my hair. "I love you with every fibre of my being. I need you to be strong for me Bella. This has to end."

Rutilio fairly hums with satisfaction but the pain in my chest deepens an' threatens to overwhelm me because I know that he is wrong. The Major won't go with him. He will not fight. He is done.

I shake my head in denial. Make it go away. Make it go away. Make it go away. Make it go away. Panic rises in my throat like bile.

"I love you." My voice is choked with emotion as I beg for something I cannot have. "Please don't do this, please. We can find another way."

"You know this is the only way. You've always known."

The Major straightens himself, tall an' proud in the sun, the evidence of his life and his strength glowing in the sunlight.

"I will not fight." He vows. "I am done with death and destruction. I am _tired_. I will not do this any longer. I want peace."

"J, No!" Pete screams, strugglin' desperately to free himself from the arms that grip him.

The Major lowers his head taking a deep breath an' is gone. In his place Jasper Whitlock raises his face, smilin' his beautiful smile just for me and pushin' all his love an' devotion at me as he drops my hand an' backs into the fire, his golden eyes locked with mine.

Time stands still for everythin' but the fire. With a demonic roar it surges towards the sky fingers of flame graspin' for the sun, my love its new fuel.

A great weight crushes me to the ground drivin' all the breath from my body. My ears fill with a high keenin' sound, blocking out all else.

Jasper. No, no, no. _Jasper_.

Pain sears through me an' I grit my teeth cuttin' off the ear shatterin' sound I now realise was me, desperately tryin' to hold onto my sanity an' my strength, my fingers clenchin' in the black mud. Pete an' Char are still here with me. My family.

Raisin' my head is the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life

An assortment of faces wearin' identical looks of horror are starin' open mouthed at the ragin' fire. Pete is cradlin' a sobbin' Char in his arms his face desolate.

Finally my eyes find Rutilio. His lips are movin' as he mutters to himself. "¿Qué voy a hacer ahora? ¿Qué va a hacer Caius? Está bien el hombre más valiente omás cobarde que he conocido. Tal vez me ha dado una salida. Todo lo que hago aquítengo que justificar a mi compañero." He pauses an' his shocked eyes connect with mine.

My face twists in disgust.

"Leave!" I spit out. "We warned you. We told you he wouldn't do this anymore! Now neither of us have got what we want. Go on, get the fuck out of here!"

Unable to go on, my strength fadin' fast I lower my face back to the dirt an' openin' my mouth I scream until the black earth fills my nose an' throat chokin' off the sound.

"For what it is worth child, I never intended for this to happen. I am sorry." His shock is evident in his tremblin' voice.

I know when he is finally gone, Pete an' Char collapse on top of me huggin' me with all their might the sound of our sobbin' competing with the cracklin' of the fire.

My life, up until today, it's finished.

**The End**

**A/N Epilogue to follow . . . .**


	46. Chapter 46

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for a reason. Lemon**

**Epilogue**

_About Twelve Months Later_

**BPOV**

"Company." Pete yells, chargin' back into the house, his booted feet soundin' like gunfire on the wooden floors.

Char an' I exchange glances as we leap to our feet.

Sighin' I pick somethin' at random from my lamentably large store of memories which will provoke my fight ready persona.

Pete an' Char head out onto the porch while I slip out the back an' circle around into the trees. A quick reccie confirms that the three vampires in the driveway are the only ones. With my shield up I pull my hat down over my eyes an' quietly move up behind them.

"Hello." Pete says easily. "What can we do for ya'all?"

The centre vamp clears his throat nervously. "Hi. We're lookin' for the Whitlocks. We heard they have a place around here somewhere."

"They do." Pete allows. "What you want 'em for? They ain't the friendliest coven in the world son."

"There's a rumour they know where The Major is."

My dead heart clenches.

With a heavy sigh Pete removes his hat an' fans the hot Texas air off his face with it. "The Major's dead son."

I wince.

Pete continues. "He's dead, he died a long time ago. You should consider yourself lucky, I met him once, he wasn't someone to fuck with."

"How do you know he's dead?" The blonde vampire on the end asks.

"I saw him burn." I answer, derivin' a small amount of satisfaction from how high they jump as they spin around to face me.

"Who are you?" Centre vampire asks as the three of them eye the many scars visible around my vest top.

"Nobody."

"Do you know anything about The Major's Mate?" He ventures.

I shake my head "I think she was just a myth, I never saw her an' I never met anyone who did."

Pete an' Char descend the porch steps strollin' towards us.

"We don't like visitors much." I drawl, a sadistic smile formin' on my lips. "Especially not ones askin' questions about myths, legends an' things best left buried."

"We're sorry to have troubled you." The tall vampire stammers, lickin' his lips nervously.

"Are you?" I ask quirkin' my eyebrow.

The three of them nod nervously. They must have been very young when they were turned. And very stupid. I take a step forward.

"Ma'am." Pete calls out softly. "Is that really necessary?"

With a sigh I tuck my hands into my pockets where they can do no damage. I'm still havin' enormous problems with the concept that violence doesn't solve everythin'.

"You three should leave." Pete continues. "Now. An' don't ever come back."

I move aside an' watch them carefully until they reach the bend in the dirt drive an' break into a run.

I turn to Pete, my eyes clearin' to gold an' shiny with venom tears I can't release. "Will this go on for ever?" I whisper.

He pulls me into a hug. "I dunno sweet thing, probably on and off, eventually word will get round that he's gone."

Noddin' I break away, acknowledgin' Char's sad smile as I head into the house. Glumly I fill the tub, a good soak always soothes me and makes me feel better.

Lyin' down, head restin' on the edge, I close my eyes an' let my mind drift away to happier things.

Cool hands slide onto my shoulders, fingers smoothin' along my collar bones, thumbs kneadin' gently at the flesh on the back of my shoulders.

A sob escapes me.

The hands move up, fingers ghostin' over the skin of my throat, thumbs tracin' circles along my jaw line.

Tenderly my hair is brushed away from my face an' tucked behind my ears. Full lips softly caressin' the sensitive skin behind my ear, sweet breath, saddle soap an' hay insinuatin' itself into my nose.

I sigh, relaxin' slightly, escapin' from my worries an' pain.

The hands move lower as the lips continue to move softly against my skin. Stretchin' out over my shoulders, silky fingers movin' lightly over the imperfections. Workin' languidly lower an' lower until they are swirlin' their magic over the top of my breasts.

Full lips move down, smooth skin brushin' against my cheek, an' press firmly into _his_ scar on my neck. Cool tongue probin' the indentations leavin' a trail of wetness that reacts with the warm damp air. I can almost feel the tingle run down my spine.

Those fingers edge down, lightly brushin' across my nipples, causin' them to harden an' begin to ache.

Soft lips an' smooth skin transfer to the other side of my face, nose nuzzlin' sensuously at my neck, lips findin' its base, nibblin' gently on the sensitive skin.

With a moan I arch my body, pressin' my achin' breasts into big strong hands an' stretchin' my neck, encouragin' firmer bites from the mouth makin' love to it.

Hands knead my breasts almost roughly as I begin to writhe in the warm water, my heels slippin' as they try to gain purchase on the floor of the tub so I can raise my body upwards.

Sensin' my need one hand slides lower pausin' for the thumb to rub firm circles across my belly before slippin' down an' trailin' a finger lightly through my folds.

I gasp, tryin' an' failin' once again to lift my body an' increase the pressure of that touch.

Cool breath tickles my neck, a low dirty chuckle causin' my lady parts to clench.

"Impatient much, darlin'?" A low voice murmurs.

I moan an' writhe again in answer before almost sobbin' as the presence leaves me.

Hands twine into my hair, pullin' me forwards as soft lips crash into mine a delicious tongue demandin' entrance to my mouth. Reachin' my own hands up into silken hair I part my lips an' allow my mouth to be claimed.

The kiss is deep an' urgent, full of passion an' love. Our tongues findin' a familiar an' demandin' rhythm. Inhalin' sharply from each other's mouths my body slides down until I am lyin' flat in the tub, water cascadin' over the sides as a large strong body follows me down, coverin' me, one arm wrapped around my back pullin' me closer an' crushin' me into its chest.

My legs lift up with a will of their own, wrappin' around his waist an' he enters me, his movements rapid, urgent an' strong.

Our kiss changes, open mouths pressin' an' movin' against each other, harsh breaths an' wordless sounds exchanged.

Our hips undulate together as he grinds into me, fillin' me, fillin' my need, stimulatin' my tinglin' nerves.

Our harsh pants morph into quiet grunts as our bodies work as one drivin' an' reachin' for the pleasure they know is comin'.

The pace of our thrusts doesn't alter, pushin' us inexorably an' vigorously towards the edge

Familiar heat builds within me as my body tightens an' my muscles twitch against his already quiverin' body.

A strangled cry escapes him as he bites down hard on _his _mark. A scream forms in my throat as I cum violently, my walls spasmin' around him an' bringin' on his own climax as he follows me over the edge into ecstasy. And behind my eyelids I see stars.

"JAS-PER!" I scream my voice raw with fulfilment an' emotion.

Spent I collapse back, opening my eyes an' regardin' the ceilin' through unshed tears of venom.

"J you fucker!" Pete's voice screams from downstairs. "Stop projectin', if you two don't pack it in Little Pete's gonna break off. Me and Char have only just got over last time. Get your own house! I fuckin' mean it! You're gonna put me off sex for life!"

Laughin' Jasper and I melt into each other's arms, curled into the bottom of the tub. "Five thousand, three hundred sixty one an' countin'." He whispers as I press my lips to his heart scar, thankin' God for the millionth time for a half assed plan, LA actin' lessons an' a shield.

Whole. Complete. Finished.

**A/N So, he's not dead. For those of you who have a contract hit out on me, now would be a good time to cancel it.**

**I want to say a big thank you to everyone who has taken the time out of their lives to read and review this story, I cannot tell you how much it means to me. And to those of you who encouraged me along from the beginning, _thank you_, if the hit isn't cancelled in time I bequeath you Jasper's thumbs. You know who you are an' I'm sure you can find something **_**productive**_** to do with them :o)**

**I have to make a special mention to my friend lorbo. She beta'd my lemons, spicin' 'em up while I cooled 'em down. Hopefully we met at a satisfyin' an' hot middle. If not, blame me.**

**If you've got any questions about the story please feel free to PM me, I'll be happy to answer.**

**Obviously there are a lot of loose ends which should be tied up in a sequel but I would possibly need an **_**obscenely**_** large amount of reviews to inflict one on you, just sayin' . . . . **

**Absolute final note. Yes, it's true, that's approximately 0.61 Jasper screamin' orgasms per hour, because some days he likes to work**_** extra hard**_**. Lucky bitch.**


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